


A Little Piece of Heaven

by anneryn7



Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Denial of Feelings, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Song Lyrics, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-07-28 12:03:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 54
Words: 76,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20063722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneryn7/pseuds/anneryn7
Summary: Angela is used to being beaten down and bruised. No one knows what really goes on at home. She's used to protecting herself since her mother died. He's supposed to be her father, but he has other ideas.One day she meets Matt and everything changes. She wants more than her broken life.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story years ago and posted it to an a7x site. Slowly transferring it over here. 
> 
> I DO NOT OWN AVENGED SEVENFOLD OR IT'S MEMBERS.

Chapter One:

  
  
“You know that I’ll find you, _Angel_. I always do.” Eric leered. I pushed back farther in the closest, trying to myself to the wall. I know I can’t hide forever, but I’m not making this any easier for him. We go through this every night. He’s been drinking. I can tell. He’s never this eager without added encouragement.  
  
I heard him going through my room. I hide in the hall closet this time. It’s deeper and there’s no light in here. He slammed the bedroom door. I heard him storm down the hall. He’s never been good with losing or patience.  
  
“Angela, this would be so much easier on you if you just came out. You might even enjoy it.” His voice keeps getting louder. My heart is beating so loudly, I swear he can hear it. I can feel myself shaking. It feels like I’ve got a nest of angry hornets trapped in my stomach. I’m terrified. I have to show it now before he finds me. Showing fear in front of him is a weakness that I can’t afford to have. If he breaks me – he wins. I can’t let him do that. “I’m getting angry.” He growled. I bit my lip to keep my breathing quiet.  
  
The closet door opened. I didn’t move a muscle and breathed as slowly as possible. He’s gonna find me. I forced my eyes to stay open. I want to see it coming. He moved back towards me, slowly, feeling everything around him. I tried to scoot back farther but met nothing but wall.  
  
I felt him before I saw him. Even in the dark I can see the hunger in his eyes. I can’t swallow. I can barely make out his sneer. I can feel his breath on my face. It’s the same cat and mouse hunt – every night. He moved his hand onto my waist, holding me to him. I don’t want this. This isn’t how things are supposed to be. He’s supposed to be my step-father.  
  
“Why do you insist on making me chase you?” He asked. I can smell the bourbon on his breath.  
  
“I’m not yours.” I told him, keeping my voice steady.  
  
“That’s what you’d like to believe. _Angel_, you’ll always be mine. No man is going to want you knowing that you were mine first. Remember that next time you’re convinced I don’t own you. I think I’ll remind you tonight.” He chuckled. I feel sick to my stomach.  
  
“I’ll never be yours, just like my mother wasn’t. Do you think you were her first choice? You were her third husband. She never stopped fucking around behind your back. She just wanted an allowance so she could drink her life away. You were just convenient.” I pushed back against him. He stumbled and I moved past him. He didn’t come after me, so that must mean he’s working up to something.  
  
Last night I got lucky. He passed out before he could do anything. Sunday I wasn’t as lucky. He lost a client at work. He needed to take his anger out on somebody. That person was me. He kept the bruises under control. As long as I dress carefully they aren’t visible. I feel like I was hit by a tank and then some. I used to get recovery days before he’d get bored and ‘play’ with me again.  
  
Things didn’t start out this way. When my mom first brought him home he seemed like a stand-up guy. I’m not really sure what changed.  
  
My mom has been an alcoholic since I was little. My guess is he didn’t know that much before he married her. She wasn’t neglectful per se, but she’d never win a mother-of-the-year award, either. I can’t say much about her, but she was there for the most part.  
  
She died a few years back from alcohol poisoning. I can’t say I was surprised but it was an eye-opener. She was really gone. I was alone. Well, except for Eric. I honestly didn’t know if he’d decide to keep me around or not. After I turned fifteen it became apparent why he kept me.  
  
It started slowly. He’d look at me for a little too long or ‘accidentally’ graze something that he shouldn’t. Once it started it kept getting progressively worse. I had to put up with it because I had nowhere else to go. My real dad was never in the picture. He’s loaded so I was always more than taken care of financially, but that was it. My grandparents took my mom’s death hard and couldn’t handle seeing me. I was stuck. If I can survive until I’m eighteen then I get the trust fund my mother left me, and I’ll be able to leave. I only have six months to go.  
  
I’ve got friends, sure. And I have a few that I actually talk to. I don’t let anyone over unless I’m home alone most of the time. It’s too risky.  
  
I ran my fingers through my hair and locked my bedroom door – both deadbolts and the chain. I can’t sleep otherwise. I can always sneak out the window if need be. We have one story house. Thank God. I laid down and pulled out my cell. I jumped when knocking shook my door.  
  
“Angela, I need to talk to you. Look, if you come out we can go to dinner and I can tell you how the next few weeks are going to go. I won’t touch you tonight. You have my word.” Eric spoke clearly outside my bedroom. He may be slime but he never breaks his word. I put on my chucks and sweater. I grabbed my keys and phone and opened the door and faced him.  
  
“You should have started with that in the first place.” I told him. He didn’t saying anything just eyed me.  
  
“You need to change if you want to go out.” He told me. I nodded and went back into my room. I shut and locked the door before he could object. I pulled off the sweater and the sneakers. I opened my closet and pulled out black sinister heels and started leafing through my tops. I pulled on a thin black, cashmere sweater and a burgundy blazer. If this isn’t nice enough he can blow himself.  
  
I always feel better about going out somewhere with him. There’s only so much that can happen in the middle of a restaurant. There are too many witnesses.

* * *

  
I sat down at the table and ordered. I waited for Eric to start talking.  
  
“You look nice.” He complimented. He bit his lip.  
  
“Thanks.” I told him, flatly, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.  
  
“I have to go out of the country for a while. I know that you can’t miss school, so I’ll be going alone. Will you be alright at the house for a while?” He asked. I shrugged. I love when he leaves on business trips.  
  
“How long is awhile?” I asked him.  
  
“A month or so – at least three weeks but no longer than four.”  
  
“I’ll be fine. Just leave the debit card that has my name on it, too.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“What is it with females and shopping?” He laughed. I shrugged.  
  
“You like shopping more than I do.” Scary but true. He always wants to go shopping.  
  
“I’d like you to help me pick out a few new suits tomorrow after you’re out of school. I leave tomorrow night for Japan.” He told me.  
  
“Alright.” A month without him sounds like heaven. Something tells me things are going to get really bad tomorrow night as a parting gift from him. Last time he left for a trip, I couldn’t walk for days. I doubt I’ll be sleeping tonight.


	2. A Bitter Morning

Chapter Two:

  
  
I jolted awake when my alarm went off. I’m covered in sweat. I tossed and turned all night. I crawled out of bed and turned on the light. I stretched and shut off my alarm. I walked to my closet and grabbed the heels from last night and a teal pair of skinny jeans. I flipped through my tops and settled on a white Disturbed band tee. I grabbed a bra and panties.  
  
I walked to the shower. Having my own bathroom in my room is a blessing. It makes for worry-free showers. I scrubbed my body trying to avoid my bruises. I didn’t waste any time. I hurried and got out. I turned on the radio and started getting dressed.  
  
_You had to have it all – well, have you had enough?_  
_You greedy, little bastard, you will get what you deserve._  
_When all is said and done,  
I will be the one to leave you in your misery  
And hate what you’ve become._  
  
I rubbed some leave-in-conditioner through my hair and left it in loose waves. I put some moisturizer on my face and dabbed on some concealer on the dark bags under my eyes. I put on a little eye makeup and left them smoky. I put on some chapstick and grabbed my bag for school. I pocketed my keys and phone before opening my door.  
  
I jumped when I came face to face with Eric. He’s never awake this early. He smirked.  
  
“Don’t you look delicious this morning, Angel.” He took a step forward and caressed my cheek with his hand. He backed me back into my bedroom. I gulped and steadied my breathing.  
  
“I’m gonna be late, Eric.” I reminded him.  
  
“You can spare a couple of minutes for your daddy, can’t you?” He asked, grabbing my ass.  
  
“You’re not my father.”  
  
“Thank God for that. You’re too hot for me to ignore. Marrying your mother was the best thing I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t have stuck around for as long as I did if it hadn’t been for you. I knew you’d be old enough eventually.” He winked before pushing me onto the bed. He bent over me and started nuzzling my neck. “You smell so sweet. You always smell so…” He sniffed my hair and grinded his pelvis into mine. I looked away, focusing on anything but him. He moved his hand under my shirt and into my bra. I squirmed underneath him and tried to push him away. He grabbed my hands and held them above my head. I managed to wedge my leg in between his. He held me tighter and bit my neck. I gasped and head-butted him in the nose. “Bitch!” He growled.  
  
I kneed him in the groin and fell off the bed. That’s gonna leave a mark. I hissed in pain. My keys jabbed me in the thigh. I started to get up but he grabbed my ankle and dragged me back. I kicked at him and hit nothing but air. He laughed humorlessly.  
  
“I love when you put up a fight. It gets me all hot and bothered.” He whispered. I shivered and tried to get away. My phone started vibrating in my pocket.  
  
_I’m so sick, infected with where I live._  
_Let me live without this empty bliss, selfishness._  
  
_I’m so sick._  
_I’m so sick._  
  
“That’s Jace. I’m late, Eric. I really have to go.” I wrestled to get free. His hand went down my pants and he shoved a finger inside. I cried out. It feels like he’s tearing me up down there. He held me so I couldn’t move.  
  
“Scream for me, baby. You know you want to.” He sneered. I clamped my mouth shut. The sooner he gets what he wants the sooner he’ll be finished with me. “Come on, be a good sport.” He chuckled. He forced me to look at him. “I wanna see you, _Angel._” He smiled. He leaned down and slammed his lips to mine. His tongue shoved its way into my mouth. I gagged. After a few minutes he got tired of me not responding and stopped. “You can go. Have a good day at school. I’ll see when you get home.” He smirked. He got off of me and offered to help me up. I pushed myself up off the ground and fixed my clothes. I grabbed a belt from the closet and left as quickly as I could.  
  
I pulled out my cell and checked my missed calls. I dialed Jace on my way to my car. I put it to my ear while I drove.  
  
“I see how it is. You’re too cool to take my calls.” He pretended to be hurt.  
  
“Shut up. I’m sorry I’m late. Eric was in a mood and wouldn’t let me leave. Am I too late for breakfast?” I asked.  
  
“Nah, you’re good. I was calling to see if you wanted coffee or tea.” He responded.  
  
“Tea this morning. You know it’s a good thing we meet like two and a half hours before school every morning.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“I know it. Hurry your tiny ass up. I’m starving Gel.” He whined.  
  
“I know – I’m sorry. I’ll be there in five.” I hung up and tried not to speed too much. I can’t wait for tonight to be over with. Eric will be gone and I’ll have solace, even if it’s for a little while. I need it. I think that Jace suspects something is going on but he’s never said anything out-right. There have been so many times when I’ve wanted to tell him but I know that would do much more harm than good. He’s so protective. He’d try to kill Eric. It’s not worth the jail time. It just isn’t. And I only have six months left. I can make it. I just hate lying to him.  
  
I pulled into the parking lot of the breakfast joint in record time. It’s a cute café that we go to just about every morning. It’s been a tradition since we could drive. I parked and headed inside. I dropped my keys and picked them up cursing. I ran head first into someone trying to put them in my pocket.  
  
“I’m so sorry.” I apologized, looking up to see who I bumped into. He smiled at me. He’s… let’s just say that ‘attractive’ is an understatement. I’ve seen him around school.  
  
“No worries. I enjoyed it.” He smirked. I giggled nervously.  
  
“I’m sure you did.”  
  
“I’ll be here all week.”  
  
“I’ll be sure to run into you tomorrow.” I told him.  
  
“I’ll look forward to it.” He told me.  
  
“I’m Angela.” I introduced myself.  
  
“Matt.” He opened the door for me. I danced a little on the inside.  
  
“The man has manners.” I teased. He smiled.  
  
“Only for some people, it was nice being run into by you.” We parted ways. I found Jace and sat down.  
  
“You okay?” He asked. I nodded. “Your eyes are a little pink.”  
  
“I was up too late. I barely slept.” I told him. He frowned. “What can ya do?” I brushed it off. “So, Eric is going out of town tonight. He won’t be back for a few weeks. Do you wanna stay over tomorrow since we have a long weekend? I hate staying there by myself. We can have a zombie-fest.” I asked. He beamed.  
  
“Yeah, I’m game. My mom will piss herself over it. She loves you. She’s convinced we’re getting married someday. I keep telling her that you’re my best girl.” He bumped me with his hip. I smiled. “Be prepared to spend most of the weekend at my place. You know how she is.”  
  
“It’s fine. You know I love her.”  
  
“Because I’m chopped liver.” He joked and took a sip of coffee.  
  
“You’re my bestie.” I told him. He rolled his eyes.  
  
“So, I see someone has his eyes on you.” He nodded in Matt’s direction. I shrugged.  
  
“I’m clumsy.” I told him. He snorted.  
  
“Yes, you are.”  
  
We finished breakfast and headed to school. The day flew by faster than I would have liked. Apparently I have three classes with Matt, none of which I realized before. I feel so awkward around him. I’m such a spaz. It’s closer and closer until crunch time. I’m not ready to face Eric. But, I never am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"Had Enough" - Breaking Benjamin, "I'm So Sick" - Flyleaf


	3. A Painful Goodbye

Chapter Three:

  
  
I pulled up to the house as slowly as possible. I don’t know what to expect. This morning could have been an empty threat. With his track record, it wasn’t a bluff. I feel like I’m going to vomit. I just want to get this over with. I shut off my car and took a deep breath before heading inside.  
  
His car is here, so he should be home.  
  
“Eric?” I called out. I’m just going to face him today. It’s not worth prolonging. I stood still and just listened. I can’t hear him. I walked to my bedroom and set my things down. I went into Eric’s room.  
  
“Hi honey, you’re home.” He smiled and put his hands behind his head. He’s stretched out shirtless. Any other woman would lust over his abs, anyone but me.  
  
“Did you still want to go shopping?” I asked, trying to keep the hope out of my voice. Mischief glittered across his face. He stood up and walked over to me. He caressed my sides and leaned in to breathe on my neck.  
  
“We have other things to tend to first, _Angel.”_ His grip on me tightened instantly. I can feel his fingers bruising my skin. I went into panic mode and clawed at his hands. He laughed and pulled me into his hard body. I elbowed him in his side. He let go of me and I ran. He caught me before I made it through the door. He shoved me into the door frame.  
  
Eric pulled me up before I could fall to the floor. I was thrown onto the bed. I hit my head on the wall on the way down. I grimaced and scrambled to move. He was too fast. I was dizzy and couldn’t focus. He fought to get my clothes off. I clawed his face – he hissed in pain and backhanded me. He got my jeans off. I kicked him, but not hard enough. I rolled onto my stomach and slid off the bed. He dragged me back up by my hair.  
  
“If you don’t cooperate, I’m going to have to bruise that pretty face of yours.” He growled. I stiffened but didn’t stop fighting. It’s already bruised. There’s no way he didn’t mark me when he hit me earlier. I gave it everything I had. After awhile things started to blur. I stopped feeling. I became numb to it all but I never gave up. Something about today is different. He’s so… determined.  
  
I felt him grab my throat. Everything started to go black.  
  
~*.*~  
  
It feels like someone took a sledge hammer and beat my head in with it. I cracked my eyes open and wished I hadn’t. Everything that had happened rushed back to me. I tried to sit up and realized Eric was on me. I was made very aware of the severe pain at my core. I saw him thrusting in and out of me. I couldn’t stop the tears from bleeding down my cheeks. I started hitting him. He didn’t try to stop me just kept going. I scratched at his face and his eyes. He backhanded me again and pinned my wrists.  
  
It felt like hours before he finished. In reality, it was probably minutes. I was frozen. He turned my face to kiss me. I spat in his eyes. He smirked and wiped his face.  
  
“You’re still the best fuck I’ve ever had. Your pussy is so tight.” He winked and got off the bed. He went into the bathroom and checked out his wounds. There are scratches all over his chest. I put a few on his face, too. I’m sure that I look a lot worse than he does.  
  
“I hate you.” I told him. He came out of the bathroom smirking.  
  
“You make it so much fun. I love it when you put up a fight.” He pulled me off the bed, gently. I pulled my hand away from him. Now is when he pretends to care… and in his twisted way, he probably does care. “I got carried away.” He said more to himself than to me. He examined my face. “You’ll have to cover those up.” He told me. I rolled my eyes. Like I didn’t already know that. This is when I’m the safest. What else could he do to me? He got what he wanted and he’s started to feel sort of remorseful. “Go wash up, then we’ll go.” He told me.  
  
I heard him but from a distance. My head was already somewhere else. I feel detached. I was in my room and locking the door before I knew it. I hope he leaves early-ish tonight. Maybe I can persuade Jace to come over. He normally keeps me company half the time while Eric is away. I don’t like staying here alone and I always sleep better while Jace is here.  
  
My shower was over before I knew it. I only got out because the water was cold. I blow-dried my hair and put on some lotion. I set the work covering up the bruises. I’m going to have some explaining to do when Jace sees them. He’s only going to believe that I fell so many times. My entire eye is starting to bruise. It’s going to be a shiner in the morning. I don’t even want to see the rest. The ones on my wrist aren’t so bad. They’re just raw right now. I have dark ones on the inside of my thighs and ones to match on my hips. I can see the finger imprints. I sighed. I put on my undergarments. My back is stinging. I turned and looked in the mirror. I have a red streak where I hit the door. It’s not a bruise yet, but it probably will be.  
  
I opted for comfortable clothing. I put on a pair of dark blue jeggings and a loose v-neck, t-shirt. I put on some concealer on my lip and covered it up the best that I could. It’s busted but it’ll have to do. I grabbed some socks and slipped on my Vans.  
  
I pulled my phone out of my purse and dialed Jace’s number.  
  
“Hello,” he panted.  
  
“Hey, are you busy tonight?” I asked.  
  
“Gel, I’m kind of in the middle of something.” He grunted. I heard someone moan. Oh, jeez. Why does he always answer the phone when he’s in the middle of sex?  
  
“Do you want me to let you go?” I sighed.  
  
“Just make it quick.” He answered, still breathless.  
  
“Can you come over tonight? I don’t think I can handle being alone tonight after he leaves.” I told him. He didn’t say anything for a minute.  
  
“Did something happen?” He asked, suddenly serious.  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I evaded.  
  
“Gel, if something –” He started.  
  
“I don’t have time to talk right now. I gotta go. Are you coming later?” I cut him off.  
  
“Yeah, of course. I’m almost done here anyway.”  
  
“Okay. I’ll call you after he leaves. Thanks Jay.” I hung up. Knowing that he’s coming over makes me feel better. I grabbed my bag and went outside to see a waiting Eric. I can’t look at him right now. This isn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s the first time in a long while that he’s went that far. I don’t feel any less violated. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I can’t get clean.  
  
“Do you want to grab dinner?” He finally asked. I shook my head. He kept looking at me.  
  
“No, I’m not hungry. Let’s just find you clothes.” I told him.  
  
“Not just me, I’m treating you, Angel. I’ll get you whatever you want.”  
  
“You can’t buy me.” I told him, still avoiding his face.  
  
“That’s not what I’m trying to do.” He argued. He finally lost his smile. I can see his reflection.  
  
“Then you won’t mind when I put a dent in that bank account of yours.” And that’s exactly what I did. I helped him pick out his suits and anything and everything that was cute and in my size, I bought – and in different colors. I dragged him to Sinister Soles and bought too many pairs of shoes. By the time we were finished I didn’t feel any better and the car was filled with bags and boxes. But I did feel satisfied at the amount of damage I did with his money. He’s too rich for his own good, so it’s nothing he’ll miss.  
  
“Are you going to ignore me all night?” He finally asked. I shrugged. I didn’t say anything that I didn’t have to. “I’m going to get packed and I expect conversation while I’m doing it.” He told me after he helped me carry all the bags to my room. I finished putting everything away and met him in his room. “Be careful while I’m away – I don’t want anything to happen to you.” He told me. I snorted.  
  
“That’s rich, coming from you.” I told him. His eyes gleamed. He’s always hated my sarcasm but I have given him what he wanted – a response.  
  
“Whether you believe it or not, I do care about you.” He told me. I shrugged.  
  
“You have a shitty way of showing it.”  
  
“It’s the best way I know how.”  
  
“Raping your stepdaughter is a strange way of showing it.” I told him, finally meeting his gaze.  
  
“We all have our faults, Angel.” He told me. I didn’t say anything else I just watched him pack. He came over to me and pulled my face to his. He kissed me, softly. He held me and for a minute it felt like he actually cared. He let go and I followed him to the door. “I’ll see you in a month, Angela.” He told me. I nodded. “I love you.” He told me.  
  
“No, you don’t.” I shut and locked the door. I watched him leave. He’s finally gone after all of it.  
  
I texted Jace and asked him to come over. I got a response almost instantly.  
  
_See you in ten, Gel._  
  
I smiled at my phone. I got online and ordered pizza. I don’t want to cook anything and I know that I need to have some sort of food in my system.  
  
The doorbell rang. I looked through the peephole. I opened the door and let Jace in.  
  
“Hey killer, what’s up?” He asked, walking to my room. He put his stuff down and saw the empty bags littering the floor. “Damn, when you shop, you really go to town, don’t you?” He laughed. I shrugged.  
  
“I’m glad you’re here.” I told him. “Sorry, I interrupted your booty call.” I teased. He rolled his eyes.  
  
“You mean more to me than mediocre pussy.” He smiled. I laughed. He gave me a hug and started rubbing my back. I winced. He noticed. “What happened? And don’t lie to me.” He pulled away and looked at me. I shrugged.  
  
“Nothing that you’re better off not knowing.” I told him.  
  
“Did he hurt you?” He asked.  
  
“It doesn’t matter.” I deflected.  
  
“Bullshit. You’re tiny and you’d never hurt a soul. Of course it matters.” He argued.  
  
“I’m out in six months. I can deal with him until then.” He told me.  
  
“Why won’t you just tell me?”  
  
“Because he’d kill you.” I told him. Tears started cascading down my face. “What he does to me is enough. I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt because of me. I’m not worth it. This isn’t worth it.” I whispered.  
  
“You’re worth everything.” He helped me to the bed and pulled me onto his lap. He just held me and let me cry. “What does he do?” He asked. I bit my lip. I can’t tell him everything. He’d never let it stand. It isn’t his fight. Instead I climbed off of his lap and went to the bathroom. I washed the makeup off of my face and stripped out of my clothes. I left my bra and underwear on. He wants to see, then I’ll let him see, but I’m not telling him the extent that he takes it to. I walked out of the bathroom and just stood in front of him. He stood up and just looked at me. I closed my eyes. I don’t want to see his pity. I can take a lot but I can’t take pity. That’s all I got after my mom died. I can’t deal with that again. “Oh, my God. He – Angela, why? Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve… Gel…”  
  
I finally looked up. He looks so hurt. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I can’t keep hiding it from him. I need someone to know. It’s so hard being strong alone.  
  
“I couldn’t tell you. It’s not as bad as it looks.” I lied. He shot me a look that shut me up. The doorbell went off. “That’s the pizza.” I told him. He left to go get it. He brought it back into the room and set it down.  
  
“When did it start?” He asked.  
  
“A few years ago.” I told him. He looks so torn up. I feel awful.  
  
“I’m not going to let him hurt you anymore.” He promised.  
  
“You can’t stop him.”  
  
“I can stop him before it goes too far. If he threatens you, don’t come home. You can stay with me.” He tried. I nodded. It sounds nice in theory, but normally I can’t leave.  
  
“Okay. Can you just hold me tonight?” I asked.  
  
“Of course. You’re my best girl.”


	4. Good Morning World Part 1

Chapter Four:

  
  
“Angela, wake up.” A soft voice pulled me from my dreams. I opened my eyes to a very awake Jace. I smiled.  
  
“Morning,” I whispered, burrowing back under the covers. He laughed and took away my blanket. I frowned but got up. “What time is it? I don’t remember setting an alarm last night.”  
  
“It’s a little after six. You’ve got time to get ready and we can still get breakfast.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“I’ll shower first. It’ll take me longer to get ready. I’ll be out in a few – don’t worry. You’ll still have time to primp.” I laughed.  
  
“Yuck it up, Gel. Just wait and see what you’ll wake up to tomorrow.” He threatened.  
  
“You’re all talk.” I told him, running to the bathroom. I locked the door and got into the shower. It’s so easy to forget how bad things are when he’s around. He’s my bubbles. He keeps me happy. I’ve never had a closer friend than him.  
  
I finished in the shower and dried off. I moisturized my body before caking on the concealer. I had to cover my wrists and my waist before I could start on my face. I’m just thankful it’s waterproof and a bitch to get off. I grabbed a robe before letting Jace shower while I picked out clothes. I slipped into violet jeans, a black quarter-length blouse and a gray fitted vest. I finished covering my face and basic makeup before putting on my new gray and black, studded, peep-toe pumps.  
  
I listened to music while I waited for Jace to finish up in the bathroom. I swear, he takes longer than any woman to get ready. It’s crazy.  
  
_Rage in the cage and piss upon the stage._  
_There’s only one sure way to bring the giant down._  
_Defunct the strings of the cemetery things,_  
_With one flat foot on the devil’s wings._  
  
I went into the bathroom and sat on the counter while Jace finished his final touches.  
  
“Are you almost done?” I asked him. He chuckled.  
  
“You can’t rush perfection.”  
  
“Yes, you can.” I told him. “I’m doing it right now. I’m hungry. Let’s go.” I told him.  
  
“Okay, okay. I’m done.” He grabbed his school stuff and followed me out the door. He walked over to his car.  
  
“I can drive. It’ll save you gas if you’re coming back here, later.” I told him. He shrugged and got into my Mustang. I drove to our usual place. I saw Matt as I pulled in. I couldn’t help smiling to myself. Hopefully I don’t spaz all over him again. I almost died from embarrassment the first time.  
  
Jace and I got out together. I glanced over at Matt and saw him looking my way. I couldn’t look away. I slowed down. He was talking with some guy. He’s a little bit shorter than him and has a little facial hair. He’s just as attractive. Why do hot guys always travel in packs?  
  
“You want me to get a table?” Jace asked me once we got close to Matt, seeing my interest in him.  
  
“Yeah, I’ll catch up. I have someone to bump into.” I told him. Matt laughed. His friend nodded knowingly. Jace went inside.  
  
“I’m Brian.” Mystery man introduced.  
  
“Angela,” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“Well… I’ll let you two flirt.” He excused. I blushed. I didn’t say anything until he was out of earshot.  
  
“You didn’t run into me yet.” He teased. I smirked and bumped his butt with my hip. He laughed. “That’s more like it.”  
  
“You can’t say I’ve never done anything for ya.” I chuckled. He smiled.  
  
“You a senior?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“Are you?”  
  
“Yeah. I’ll be glad when school’s out, but I think everyone is.” His eyes twinkle when he talks. My God. He’s gorgeous. I wonder if he’s seeing anyone. I know I’m not looking for anything right now, but I don’t want some girl to go ape shit on my ass, either. I just need to work up the courage to ask. I can do this. I can do this. I repeated my mantra.  
  
“Are you seeing anyone?” I blurted out the words before I could stop myself. He stopped and looked at me. He looks surprised about my question.  
  
“Not at the moment,” he replied. I nodded.  
  
“Good to know.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Just curious,” I looked in his eyes. He’s so tall.  
  
“What’s the deal with you and Atwood?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“We’re friends.”  
  
“That’s not all it looks like.”  
  
“We’re close.” I countered.  
  
“So you wouldn’t mind giving me your number?” He asked. I blushed.  
  
“I guess not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"Living Dead Girl" - Rob Zombie


	5. Good Morning World Part 2

Matt and I have been texting shamelessly throughout our classes. I’m surprised the teachers haven’t complained yet. It’s been impossible to concentrate in any of my classes. I’m not too worried. I have a 5.2 GPA. I know that my ticket out of here is to get into a kickass Ivy League school. I can’t afford to take any chances by not scoring about perfect, grade-wise.  
  
School has never been a challenge for me. It’s always been the easy part. Everything is so cut and dry. I know what to expect. It’s an easy way to concentrate on something else and forget about my life for a little while. I relish in it. I normally have my assignments done days before they’re due. Today is no exception. I have nothing to worry about.  
  
_Kill me now. If I have to sit through another hour of Calculus, I’m going to shoot myself in the face._  
_-Matt_  
  
I laughed to myself and sent him a reply.  
  
_School’s almost out. Somehow, I think you’ll survive it._  
_-Angela_  
  
His reply was almost instantaneous.  
  
_Or I could spend my time thinking about other things… :)_  
_-M_  
  
I looked around the classroom to make sure everyone was working on something and I could continue to text at my leisure.  
  
_Like what?_  
_-A_  
  
_P.S. I’ll try not to bump into you tomorrow._  
  
I waited a few minutes before he sent anything back. I was a few pages into a book.  
  
_Like you.:)_  
_-M_  
  
_P.S. I like when you bump into me._  
  
I know I shouldn’t be flirting because a relationship would do nothing but complicate everything in my life, but I can’t help it. He’s so easy to do it with. He makes me feel like I’m normal. That’s something that I haven’t really felt in a long time.  
  
_Well, you’re out of luck. I sleep in when there is no school. :P_  
_-A_  
  
I really hope that Jace doesn’t tell his mom about me or what’s been going on. She’s cool and everything and she always means well, but that would make everything a million times worse. I’m so close to getting out and being free. I don’t want anything to jeopardize that.  
  
_We could always meet after you wake up. Maybe I could try running into you._  
_-M_  
  
I close my phone for a minute and think about what to say.  
  
_Are you asking me out? And if you plan on running into me, you should know that I’m tougher than I look._  
_-A_  
  
I put my phone down and settled back into my book.  
  
_Yes. You game?_  
_-M_  
  
I smiled. I feel like butterflies are trying to rip through my stomach and somersault across the classroom.  
  
_It depends what you have in mind._  
_-A_  
  
Did I really just say that?  
  
_I could take you to lunch and bump into you._  
_-M_  
  
_P.S. I think you should say yes, already._  
  
The bell went off. I can’t believe class is over. It flew by.  
  
_Sure, why not? I’ll text you my address later. You can pick me up around noon tomorrow._  
_-A_  
  
I pocketed my phone. I feel light as a feather. Today has been amazing so far. I hope it keeps up. I went to my locker and put my books away before going to Jace’s locker and waited for him to hurry his slow ass up. I leaned against it and put my sunglasses on the top of my head.  
  
Ten minutes went by and still no sign of him. I pulled out my phone and called him.  
  
“What up?” He asked.  
  
“Dude, hurry your ass up. I’m dying of old age over here.” I complained. He chuckled.  
  
“I’m just finishing up here.” He told me. “Baby, who’s that?” Some girl asked. “Don’t worry about it.” He told her.  
  
“Where you at?” I asked him.  
  
“I’m coming.”  
  
“Too much information, bro.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“Already done,” he told me. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Who was it?” I asked, smirking.  
  
“No one important, as usual.” He responded. The girl scoffed. He uses girls like toys. I don’t know why it’s different with me, but it always has been. He’s my guy. I’d like to keep it that way.  
  
“Hurry _up._ My grandmother walks faster than you.” I whined.  
  
“It’s so sexy when you whine. It’s like watching a fat man eat a sandwich.” He smiled at me as he walked up to his locker. I put away my phone.  
  
“I was getting ready to send out a search party to find you. They had the canines sniff your dirty underwear and everything.” I told him with straight face.  
  
“I’m here now – I just got a little lost. You know how confusing the hallway is and everything.” He put an arm around me. I pushed it off.  
  
“You made me wait, _forever_.” I glared at him.  
  
“Baby, I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me?” He gave me his puppy-dog eyes. I nodded.  
  
“If you give mama a piggy-back ride.” I told him, beaming. He bent down and I hopped on his back. I put my Alexander McQueen clutch in my bag and held onto his shoulders as he carried me to the car. I saw Matt and his friends as we left the school. “This is riding in style.” I told him. He chuckled and nodded my way. I got down when we got to the car and I got in. “Let’s go get your clothes.”  
  
~*.*~  
  
“Honey, I’m home.” He called out. His mom stuck her head out of the kitchen.  
  
“And you brought my favorite daughter with you.” She smiled and came over to hug me.  
  
“You don’t have a daughter.” He reminded her.  
  
“But if I did, she would be my first pick.” She told him. I laughed. Jace went upstairs to get his things. “How’ve you been?” She asked. “Meet any boys?” She’s always asking about boys.  
  
“There is one that I’ve been talking to, but it’s nothing more than talking.” I told her, shrugging.  
  
“Is he cute?”  
  
“Droolworthy.” I told her. “He’s taking me to lunch tomorrow.”  
  
“As long as he doesn’t eat you for lunch.” She winked. I blushed.  
  
She’s a mix between the older sister and mother that I never had. I love it. I talked with her for about an hour before Jace finally walked his happy ass downstairs.  
  
“I’m ready.” He told me.  
  
“You take longer than anyone I know to get ready or pack.” I told him.  
  
“What can I say? It’s a gift.”


	6. Confessions

Chapter Five:

  
  
“We should watch Zombieland first.” Jace threw the movie to me. I shook my head.  
  
“No way. We should 28 Days Later first. We should watch Zombieland last. Funny movies last equals no nightmares for me.” I put my choice in the DVD player and jumped back onto the bed. I landed on his stomach. He groaned. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” I told him. He doubled over. I lifted his shirt and looked at his abdomen. He doesn’t have any bruising – so, that’s a good sign.  
  
“I’m fuckin’ with you. I’m fine.” He laughed. I punched his arm. “Ow.”  
  
“You deserve it… Ass.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“I’m an ass?”  
  
“Yup.” I told him. He smirked and started tickling my sides. I thrashed against him. He didn’t stop. I started hiccupping because I was laughing so hard. My knee got him right in the balls. He stopped what he was doing. “And that’s your karma.” I got comfortable and played the movie. I’m not going to hear the end of this for awhile.

* * *

  
  
I woke up warmer and later than usual. I felt an arm tighten around my waist. I started to panic. I pulled on the arm and tried to move it. It just got tighter.  
  
“Get off!” I murmured. “Get off.” I scratched and clawed until I was released. Flashbacks flooded my mind. I couldn’t see anyone else. I felt like I was being sucked into a black-hole and trapped with Eric all over again. I can’t defend myself. I felt tears pool down my face. I sat up and rocked myself back and forth.  
  
“Gel, Gel!” Jace’s voice broke through my delusion. I couldn’t focus on him. I felt his hands grab my face. It took a few minutes but I finally saw him. I grabbed onto him and held him to me.  
  
“Don’t let me go. I don’t wanna be alone.” I whispered, my tears wetting his skin. He quieted me and rubbed my back.  
  
“I’m never gonna leave you. You’re my girl. You’re my girl.” He repeated. I didn’t say anything. I concentrated on his heartbeat. I started to relax. I don’t know what exactly triggered it. Normally I’m okay when he’s here. It’s when I’m alone that things get really bad. When I’m alone there’s nothing to stop my mind from wandering. I hate it.  
  
I pulled away from him and just looked at him for a minute. He looks at me in a way that no one has in a very long time. I see what I wanted to see from my mother in his eyes – love. He loves me. I know that he does. We’re basically family. He looks out for me. I do my best to look out for him.  
  
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I apologize. He shook his head.  
  
“It’s okay. I’m not mad or anything. I’m just… worried about you.” He kissed my temple. I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling. “I have a feeling that you’re not telling me everything.” He whispered. “I want you to know that you can trust me and that I’ll do everything in my power to abide by your wishes. I understand your reasons for not wanting anyone else involved, but I need you to be straight with me. Can you do that?” He asked. I looked into his eyes and nodded.  
  
“You’re not going to love me anymore.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I realize how childish I sound, but I can’t help thinking that. Why would he? I’ve had sex with my stepfather. Who would care about me after that? I’ll lose the one good thing in my life – him. I can’t.  
  
“That will never happen. You’re my girl.” He shook his head. “I love you for who _you are_. Nothing, _nothing_, can change that. Do you hear me?” He asked. I nodded. Shit, he’s gonna make me cry, again.  
  
“He’s done a lot more that hit me.” I whispered. He sighed.  
  
“What else has happened?”  
  
“It didn’t—it didn’t start off this bad. It was just… touching at first and it—it escalated from there. He…”  
I trailed out.  
  
“That bastard,” he growled.  
  
“He forced me to…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it out-loud. Something about me saying it makes it real. I just can’t. “It hasn’t been often with that, but I can never forget it. It feels like I break a little bit more every time.” I told him. He lifted my chin so he could look into my eyes.  
  
“He’ll never break you.”


	7. First Dates and Motorcycles

Chapter Six:

  
  
After our heart to heart, we lightened things up by taking a dip in the pool. We swam for a little while before I had to get ready for my date with Matt. It’s just lunch so I went casual. I put on some worn jeans, a tight-fitting Marvel tee, a thin cardigan and some chucks. I left my hair wavy with minimal makeup.  
  
Jace left so I could get ready in peace. I’m supposed to meet him at his place later and stay the weekend. Apparently I don’t get enough girl time, so I’m having a spa night with Gwen. We’re getting pedicures, manicures, facials, the whole she-bang.  
  
I double-checked myself in the mirror and made sure all my bruises were covered. I look decent. I added some tinted lip balm and looked for some earrings. I put a stud in my cartilage piercing and little skulls in my earlobes.  
  
I heard the doorbell ring. He’s here. My stomach feels jumbled and I feel all kinds of nervous. I just know I’m going to trip all over myself and get tongue-tied. I’m way too awkward for my own good. I wiped my hands on my jeans, hoping they aren’t sweaty. I glanced out the peephole and saw Matt standing there. I can’t help it. After living with Eric, I’ve become overly cautious… Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing.  
  
I unlocked and opened the door. He smiled at me as he leaned on the door-frame. Damn. He’s… Damn.  
  
“Hey,” I greeted him, softly.  
  
“Hey,” he said back. He gave me a once-over. “Are you going to invite me in?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“I thought we were going out.”  
  
“We are, but there’s time for a tour.” He smiled. “Badass house.” He complimented.  
  
“I’ll let my stepfather know that you think so.” I told him. Eric picked out the place. I got to help, but most of it is all him. He’s an architect among other things. He has a lot of friends that have similar talents.  
  
“He’s got good taste.” He looked around the living room. Some people leave their walls white with minimal decor. We’re not those people. That’s the one thing that Eric and I have in common. Our living room is a rich, plum color. Art pieces hang on the walls. Nothing in the house is plain. Even the lighting is extravagant. If this was anyone else’s house, I would love it. The only rooms I spend time in are the kitchen and my bedroom.  
  
“Let me give you a tour.” I told him, not wanting to stay too long. There are too many unpleasant memories in here. I showed him the kitchen, the laundry room, the garage, the dining room, Eric’s room, the guest room, our media room, the yard and porch, the office, and finally my bedroom.  
  
“How many people live here?” He asked, looking around my room, picking up my trinkets. I shrugged.  
  
“Two, now. It used to be three.” I grabbed my clutch and put it in a zombie tote bag. I threw a few overnight essentials in there while he wasn’t looking. I don’t like ever not being prepared just in case I can’t come home.  
  
“Who was the third?” He asked.  
  
“My mother.” I told him. I grabbed my shades and put them on top of my head. He looked up at me.  
  
“What happened? Things not work out?” He asked.  
  
“She died a few years ago.” I told him. He got really quiet. He didn’t say anything for a second.  
  
“I’m so sorry.” He got up and stood in front of my awkwardly.  
  
“Don’t be. It was her time.” I told him. “You ready to go?” I asked him. He nodded. “You wanna drive or should I?”  
  
“That depends,” he told me, his smirk returning.  
  
“On?” I asked.  
  
“How you feel about being on the back of a Harley.” He smiled.  
  
“You can drive. And it wouldn’t be the first time.” I told him.  
  
~*.*~  
  
We were halfway through our food when Matt decided it would be a good idea to play twenty questions.  
  
“What’s your favorite color?” He asked me. I put my burger down and finished chewing so I could answer him.  
  
“Green and gray,” I told him, taking a sip of my tea. “How ‘bout you?”  
  
“Blue – you’re turn.” He winked. I blushed. I really like spending time with him and that scares me. If you don’t have anything, you have less to lose. If this becomes something, then I’ll have this to lose. It makes me nervous.  
  
“First crush?”  
  
“My Kindergarten teacher, Miss Barnes, she was a babe.” He chuckled. I smiled. “You?”  
  
“Um, mine was this kid that lived on my street. We rode the same bus and we walked together every day before and after school. He was always so nice.”  
  
“Alright, best date?” He asked. I looked at him for a second and shrugged.  
  
“I don’t go out often. I don’t really date. I don’t think I have a best one.” I told him.  
  
“I’m hurt.” He told me. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“We’re eating burgers. I do this all the time and it’s not considered a date. Not that I’m complaining. I’m having fun. But, this doesn’t qualify as the best.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“Fair enough.”  
  
“Do you have brothers or sisters?” I asked him. He nodded.  
  
“I have a younger sister. She just turned eleven this month.”  
  
“That’s awesome. I’m an only child. The closest thing I have to a brother is Jace.”  
  
“Have you two ever hooked up?” He asked.  
  
“Hooked up how?”  
  
“Dated, sex?” He asked. I shook my bed.  
  
“Neither. We’re not like that.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Just wanted to make sure I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes.” He leaned forward and put my hand to his lips. I swear butterflies swarmed my stomach. I gave him a small smile. “Your skin’s so soft.” He murmured.  
  
“How old were you your first time?” I asked him.  
  
“I was fifteen.” He told me. I nodded. “How old were you the first time you made love to someone?” He asked. I smiled to myself. That is something I have yet to. I’ve never made love. I’ve barely made it to second base willingly. Eric forced me to sleep with him, but we’ve never made love.  
  
“That’s something I haven’t done.” I told him, quietly.  
  
“No shame in that.” He told me. He’s so hard to read. He has such kind eyes. There’s something about him that I can’t quite put my finger on. He’s like a puzzle I get to slowly put together.  
  
“Why did you ask me out?” I asked him. He didn’t say anything at first.  
  
“You’re gorgeous, and quirky, and I want to get to know you.” He told me. I smiled. “And when you smile, I’m hopeless.” He whispered. I chuckled.  
  
“You’re good with words.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“I try.”  
  
“So, one last question,” he got up and moved next to me. “Would be interested in going out with me again?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“Of course.” I told him. “We better get going though; I don’t want to be late.” I told him.  
  
“Another hot date?”  
  
“Yes.” I told him, straight-faced.  
  
“Really?” He asked. I giggled.  
  
“No.” I laughed. “A girls’ night.” I told him. He made a face at me and helped me out of the booth.  
  
“Let’s get you home.”  
  
The drive home was peaceful. We didn’t talk, but being on the back of a bike makes it hard to. I was nice to be able to put my arms around him. I can feel the muscle underneath his leather jacket. I think I could get used to this. The ride ended too soon.  
  
“So, do you ever drive to clear your mind?” I asked him. He smiled.  
  
“Yeah, and sometimes when I can’t sleep.” He took my helmet off for me and brushed some hair behind my ear.  
  
“Maybe you could take me with you, sometime.” I told him.  
  
“It’s a date.” He told me. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. I felt his stubble on my lips. I pulled back and bit my lip, smiling.  
  
“I’ll see you later. Thanks for this. I had fun.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“We should do that again, soon.” He said.  
  
“Do what?” I asked. He gestured to my mouth. He pulled me to him slowly, and pressed his lips against mine, softly. My breath caught and I only felt his skin on mine. I closed my eyes. It felt like forever but it was over in seconds. He pulled away and gave me a quick kiss before he left. Did that just happen?


	8. Girls' Night with Secrets

Chapter Seven:

I feel like I floated all the way to Jace's place. I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss with Matt. When he kissed me, I felt it all the way to my bones. I've never felt anything like that. I could get used to it.  
  
I mean, I'm going to have a month of freedom. Maybe I could pull off a few more dates until I have to break things off. There is no way my so-called stepfather is going to let the fact that I'm dating someone that isn't him, stand. He's already possessive.  
  
I think that he picked up on the fact that Jace is more of a brother to me than anything else a long time ago, because he's never said anything about me hanging out with him, ever. I guess that's something I never realized until now. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He's my solace. His place has always been my go-to place when things got especially bad at home. I couldn't always get away but I normally could after. I feel so safe there.  
  
I got out of my car and grabbed my bags of things. I moseyed up to the door and knocked. Gwen pulled the door open and gave me the why-the-hell-are-you-knocking-you-know-Damn-well-that-you're-always-welcome-here-and-of-course-we-unlocked-the-door-for-you-silly-girl, look.  
  
"Hey Gwen," I was barely able to squeeze out two words before she pulled me into the living room and deposited me on the couch before looking at me expectantly.  
  
"Spill! I want all of the juicy details." She squealed. "I can't believe my girl finally went out on a date. I wanna see a picture." She gushed. I blushed and waited for her to finish. She held my hands in hers like she was about to get life-changing news. "I'm so excited for you."  
  
"His name is Matt." I told her. "I bumped into him right before I met Jace for breakfast the other morning. We go to the same school, so I had seen him around. And he's crazy, gorgeous. I trip all over myself when he's around. I can't help it." I told her. She smiled.  
  
"How did your date go, woman?" She asked me. I laughed. She's a cross between the sister I've never had and the mother I wish I did. I love it.  
  
"He met me on my house and we took his bike to lunch." I told her. She made a face.  
  
"Oh, he's one of those?" She asked. "Is he one of those green freaks? Or does he just not want to get a job? Because my daughter isn't dating a scrub." She ranted. I giggled.  
  
"It's only been one date. And it's not a bicycle, it's a motorcycle." I told her. "Oh, well now I feel stupid." She quieted. Jace walked in and didn't say anything just plopped down on the couch next to me.  
  
"We went for burgers and just talked it was really nice." I told her. I bit my lip. "And when he drove me home I kissed his cheek and then he kissed me. He asked if he would go out again." I finished. Gwen squealed again.  
  
"My baby is all grown up." She pulled me into a hug. I can practically hear Jace rolling his eyes behind me. "How was the kiss?" She asked, almost suffocating me.  
  
"Really good, but I need to breathe." I told her. She let me go, beaming.  
  
"Why is it that you never want to hear about my sex life but as soon as Angela has a date, you'll pee yourself for details?" Jace asked.  
  
"Did I ask about your sex life, Gel?" She asked. I shook my head. "I asked her about a date. When is the last time you took a girl on a date? Never. You just hook up with those hussies." She told him.  
  
"Mom, no one says 'hussies' anymore." He told her.  
  
"Okay, then the whores you hook up with." She corrected. We all laughed. She isn't wrong. Jace has never really dated. He just has sex.

* * *

  
"How long do we have to wait for the mask to harden?" I asked her. The mask she applied on my face still feels wet and unsettled. I've never really done the spa-at-home thing. My mother was always preoccupied with booze.  
  
"Give it like five more minutes and we will peel them off. She told me, as she painted my toes. I nodded as I did hers. I opted for a midnight blue for her and has a really dark purple for mine.  
  
We chattered about boys and about what movies we should watch and whether or not Jace would let us put a mask on him. It was really nice. A much needed change of pace.  
  
"Alright, it should be good now. Your face should feel softer than a baby's ass." She laughed, peeling off hers. I set off to work peeling off mine. I started pulling it off and gathering it in my hands. She looked over and gasped.  
  
"What's wrong Gwen?" I asked her. She put a hand on my face and touched right above my eye.  
  
"Who did that to you?" Crap.


	9. Word Vomit and Crushes

Chapter Eight:

"Who did what?" I asked, hoping she saw anything else. Please God, tell me she didn't see my bruise. My foundation has never come off before without scrubbing and makeup remover. My God, it costs enough.  
  
"Don't lie to me. You know damn well what I'm talking about." She gave me the look. I gulped.  
  
"Oh that, I just knocked my head the other day. I just finished mopping the bathroom and I slipped. It looks worse than it is. It's no big deal." I tried to reassure her. She didn't say anything she just closed her mouth and eyed my wound.  
  
"You need to be more careful baby girl. I don't want anything to happen to you." She told me. I nodded and forced a smile.  
  
"Of course," I told her. Her expression is guarded. I can't read her. This could be good or very bad. I don't know what she believes right now. At this point I'm just hoping she'll forget what she saw and things can go back to normal, or as normal as things ever are around here. "What's next on the agenda?" I asked her, changing the subject.  
  
"Chinese?" She asked, finally smiling again. I nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"Do you think if we bribe Jace with food, that he'll agree to let use give him a facial?" I whispered, in case he sneaked down without either of us seeing him. She shrugged.  
  
"It's worth a try." She grinned.

* * *

  
The rest of the night was a blast. We forced Jace to sit through chick flicks and even got him to agree to the facial. He wouldn't let us snap any pictures, regrettably. I love it here. I can never get over how much like home it feels like over here. I love it. I could get used to it and that scares me.  
  
"What are thinking about Gel?" He asked me. I shrugged, laying on his chest.  
  
"Just things... Life... How lucky you are to have Gwen as your mom." I told him. He chuckled.  
  
"Don't tell her that, it'd go straight to her ego." He shot back. I bit his shoulder. "Ouch!" He cried. I giggled. "You're dangerous." He teased.  
  
"Watch yourself, or I'll do it again." I told him. He chuckled.  
  
"We like having you here. It's nice when you're over. It feels like toured supposed to be here. Things are so simple with you. They're not like that with anyone else. I've never cared about anyone like I care about you, let alone any girl." Be told me, rolling over to face me. I bit my lip. I didn't know what to say.  
  
"You both are my family. You're pretty much all I have left." I told him.  
  
"That's never going to change." He assured me.  
  
"Until you find someone better, cooler, more awesome...." I told him. "You'll get a girl and this'll change." I whispered.  
  
"I don't need a girl. I have you."  
  
"You say that now." I told him. He made a face at me and tilted my face to I had to look him in the eye.  
  
"Have you ever thought about us?" He asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked him.  
  
"About the possibility of us ever becoming more than just friends."  
  
"Oh, where did that come from?" I asked him. Things really did get serious.  
  
"Answer me."  
  
"Yeah, of course I have. Have you seen yourself? Even Fabio knows you're hot. But, I mean, what happens when things don't work out? We wouldn't be able to rewind things and take things back. I love our relationship and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that. I love you, too much." I told him. He gave me a crooked smile.  
  
"If you ever change your mind, just say the word. I'm willing to take the chance for you. I love you." He whispered. I bit my lip.  
  
Somehow, I think he means it in a different way than I did. Yeah, the chemistry is there, but it's also friendship suicide. Not to mention Matt. I felt friggin' fireworks when that boy kissed me. I've never felt anything like. I want to give that a chance. Hopefully my answer will satisfy Jace for now. The last thing I want is for things to be awkward.  
  
"Alright, but don't hold your breath." I told him, sticking out my tongue. He chuckled and held me tighter.  
  
It's going to be a long month.


	10. Late-Night Movies and Long Conversations

Chapter Nine:

  
  
I opened my eyes and tried to figure out why I was sweating to death in my sleep. What the fuck? Jace has a death grip on my waist. He’s fast asleep. I groaned and pried his fingers off of me. He grumbled but let me go. It’s like four in the morning. I got out of bed and grabbed my phone before heading their patio.  
  
I love their backyard. Everything’s fenced in and the they have the nicest deck. Their wicker rocking chairs are so comfy. I flipped on a set of dim lights in the back and grabbed a throw blanket. I settled down in my seat and got comfortable.  
  
I turned on my phone and checked for messages.  
  
_Hope you had a good time today. You should definitely run into me soon._  
_-Matt_  
  
He sent that a few hours ago – he’s probably asleep by now. Something about him always makes me smile.  
  
_I definitely had fun. And I think it’s your turn to run into me._  
_-Angela_  
  
I sent him. I looked at the stars and just basked in their beauty. They’ve always made me feel a little better. They make me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a short time. They make me feel so small.  
  
My phone started vibrating. I jumped and almost fell out of my chair. Why is he calling me?  
  
“Hello?” I feel nervous talking to him on the phone. I know how ridiculous it sounds, but my foot loves to live in my mouth.  
  
“Hello yourself, beautiful. What are you doing up?” Matt’s husky voice asked. I sighed.  
  
“I couldn’t sleep.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“How about you? Are you secretly a morning person?” I questioned. He laughed.  
  
“I haven’t been to bed yet. I was just thinking about you and you happened to text me.” He breathed. I felt a pleasant shiver run down my spine. I smiled into my phone.  
  
“What can I say? I have excellent timing.” I told him.  
  
“What are you doing right now?”  
  
“You’re gonna laugh.”  
  
“I won’t laugh at you.” He assured me. I made a face, knowing he couldn’t see it.  
  
“I’m sitting outside, watching the stars.” I told him.  
  
“Want some company?” He asked.  
  
“I crashed at a friend’s place, but I can come to you.” I told him. He didn’t say anything for a second.  
  
“Alright, but I’m warning you now, my room’s a mess.” He joked. I giggled.  
  
“That’s fine.” I told him. “I don’t mind. What’s your address?” I asked him.  
  
“I live off of Serenity Drive and Baker Street.” He told me.  
  
“I know where that is.” I told him.  
  
“I’ll text you the address.” He told me.  
  
“I’ll see ya in a few.” I hung up. What did I just get myself into? I folded the blanket and took it inside. I turned off the outside lights and went upstairs. I brushed my teeth and ran my fingers through my hair. I put foundation on my bruises and a little lip balm on my lips. I don’t look too awful. I decided to stay in my pajamas. I’m too lazy to change and he knew I was sleeping, so it really doesn’t matter. I slipped on my Vans and grabbed my purse. I woke up Jace just enough to talk to him.  
  
“What? What’s wrong?” He grumbled.  
  
“Nothing, I’m going out for a little while. I’ll be back later in the morning. I didn’t want to make you freak out or anything.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Okay. Just be careful.” He gave me a hug and fell back asleep.  
  
I scribbled a note and left it on the counter next to the coffee maker. That’s the first thing that Gwen heads to when she’s awake. There’s no way she’ll miss it. I got my keys and locked their door. I headed to my car and turned on the lights, careful to turn down the music. I don’t want to wake anyone up.  
  
I decided to get my Papa Roach on to pump myself up. I’m so jittery right now.  
  
_In the brightest hour of my darkest day._  
_I realized what is wrong with me._  
_Can’t get over you – can’t get through to you._  
_It’s been a helter skelter romance from the start._  
  
I shook out my hair and loosened up. I started singing along.  
  
_Take these memories that are haunting me –_  
_Of a paper man cut into shreds,_  
_By his own pair of scissors._  
_He’ll never forget her; he’ll never forget her._  
  
I beat on the steering wheel, using it as a makeshift drum.  
  
_Because days come and go,_  
_But my feelings for you are forever._  
_Because days come and go,_  
_But my feelings for you are forever._  
  
I belted it out on the top of my lungs. I jammed the entire way there. I was at his place before I knew it. My nerves were gone, but as soon as I parked and reached his doorstep, they were back, at full force. I pulled out my phone and called him.  
  
“Hey,” he answered.  
  
“I’m here.” I told him.  
  
“Alright, hang on. Lemme put on some pants.” He said and hung up. Did he just say what I think he did? I guess so. A minute later the front door opened. My jaw dropped, just a little bit before I clamped my mouth closed. He’s shirtless and looks delicious. His eyes twinkled when he saw me. I smiled, shyly.  
  
“I was afraid to knock. I didn’t want to wake anyone up.” I told him.  
  
“My mom’s a nurse. She works nights.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“What about your sister?” I asked him.  
  
“She’s with our dad. He has her this week.” He told me. I nodded. “You wanna come in?” He asked. I nodded. He offered me a hand and led me inside. I looked around the dark house. It looks nice. I followed him to his room. It’s surprisingly clean. He invited me to sit down on the bed with him.  
  
“I’m glad you invited me over.” I told him. “I don’t like being alone at night.” I told him.  
  
“I thought you stayed with a friend.”  
  
“I did, but they’re sleeping.” I giggled. He nodded.  
  
“There’s something different about you.” He stroked the side of my face.  
  
“So… what do you wanna do?” I asked him. He winked and leaned forward and kissed me, softly. I pulled away.  
  
“Movie?” He asked. I nodded. “Anything in particular?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“Just nothing too scary.” I told him. We finally decided on Blade. We laid on the bed and started watching the movie. “You make me so nervous.” I confessed. He chuckled.  
  
“Why?” He asked.  
  
“I get nervous around insanely attractive guys.” I told him. He moved on top of me so I had to look at him.  
  
“How can I make you comfortable?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“By letting me get to know you better.” I told him. I sat up, suddenly feeling claustrophobic.  
  
“What do you wanna know?” He asked. So, I asked him question after question.  
  
He hated his dad. He drank too much before his sister was born and he would push Matt around and his mom. Apparently, he’s reformed. Matt loved reptiles and brunettes. He has an addiction to Sour Patch Kids and occasionally smokes pot. Music is his lifeline. He has a band with some of his friends. He wants me to listen to them play sometime. And according to him, for the longest time, he’s been crushing on me.  
  
I told him about my mom and how she died. I told him about the fact that I can’t stand Eric. I told him that he was mean and overprotective but I left it at that. I explained my friendship with Jace and his mom. I told him I loved Swedish Fish and hated spiders. I love books and music but I can’t play any instruments worth crap.  
  
Brian is his best friend and the closest person he has to a brother. He wants us to hang out sometime soon. And he loves dogs.  
  
“I can’t believe we’ve been talking for the past four hours.” I told him. He smiled and yawned. “I’m so tired.” I leaned back on his bed.  
  
“Who are you tellin’? I haven’t slept yet.”  
  
“Will your mom freak if she finds us asleep here?” I asked him. He shook his head.  
  
“I told her that you were coming over to chill when I couldn’t sleep.” He told him.  
  
“Why is your bed so comfortable?” I asked him. He laughed. “I don’t want to make a bad first impression on your mom.” I told him. He smiled. God, he makes my heart leap around in my rib cage.  
  
“She’s cool. I don’t bring a lot of girls home. We’re sorta close.”  
  
“Alright, but I can only stay a couple of hours. Gwen’ll never let me live it down if I stayed with a guy all night.” I told him. He laughed. I set my alarm and we closed his curtains. I closed my eyes and drifted off to hopefully, a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"Forever" - Papa Roach


	11. Morning Surprises

Chapter Ten:

  
  
I jumped up when my alarm went off. Matt groaned and sat up, looking for the source of the noise. I’m exhausted but rested at the same time. Maybe the nap was all I needed. I got up and stretched before slipping on my shoes.  
  
“I better go.” I told him. He gave me a lazy smile.  
  
“Do you have to?” He asked. I nodded.”Come on – I’ll walk you out.” He told me. He got up and handed me my bag. He put his arm on my shoulder and led me to the front door. I found my way to my car. He pulled me in for a quick kiss. It was sweet despite our morning breath.  
  
I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the road on the way to Jace’s place. I can’t believe last night, well, this morning actually happened. I surprised myself. I’ve never really been brave when it comes to guys. I don’t have much trust in that area, thanks to Eric.  
  
And then there’s that – Eric. What’s he doing to do when he finds out about Matt? I can’t keep him a secret forever. Or, what’ll happen when Matt wants to meet Eric? Why do things have to be so fucking complicated? I’ve got this awful feeling in my gut that something is going to go badly sooner than later. I can’t shake it. It’s got me on edge. I parked my car and my phone went off. I jumped; it’s Eric. I sighed and answered it.  
  
“Don’t you have business to attend to?” I asked him. He chuckled.  
  
“Maybe I missed hearing your sexy voice.” He countered.  
  
“Maybe you should date people your own age.” I shot back.  
  
“Why bother when I have you?”  
  
“You don’t have me.” I told him.  
  
“Then who does? No matter who you’re with after me, I’ll still be your first. You’ll picture me no matter who you’re with. I’ve made you mine.” He sneered.  
  
“Is this why you called? To brag about your bullying skills?” I asked him.  
  
“I thought I’d let you know that even though I’m out of town, I still have eyes on you. I know what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.” He whispered. A chill ran down my spine.  
  
“You’re having me followed?” I asked him.  
  
“It’s for your own protection. I can’t stop someone from hurting you if I’m not there.” He argued.  
  
“You’re the only one who ever hurts me.” I told him.  
  
“And how long do you think it’ll be until your friend hurts you?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Matt. You didn’t think I wouldn’t find out, did you? That could never be anything more than puppy love compared to what we have between us. You know that. You’ll always be mine. I’ll never let you go.” He told me.  
  
“I won’t be a minor forever, Eric.” I told him. He got quiet, really fast.  
  
“There are other ways of acquiring what I want.” He told me.  
  
“And what are those?”  
  
“You’ll find out soon enough.” As soon as he said it I felt dazed. How does he always find a way to make things worse?  
  
“Or not. Look I gotta go.” I told him.  
  
“Bye Angel. I love you.” He hung up. I all but threw my phone. I took a few deep breaths to stop from shaking, before walking inside. Why does he have to ruin everything good for me?! I’m so fucking sick of it. I walked in as quietly as I could and sat down on the patio.  
  
“There you are.” Gwen waltz out onto the porch and took a seat next to me. “How was your night?” She asked.  
  
“My morning was great. We completely ignored and movie and just talked.” I told her. She smiled.  
  
“When are you gonna see him again?”  
  
“I-I don’t know. Things are… weird. Eric doesn’t want me seeing anyone. So, I don’t know how long it’ll last.” I told her. She frowned and pat my leg.  
  
“It’ll work itself out, Gel. I promise.” She told me and I let myself believe her. “Come on. Let’s eat. I made crepes…Your favorite.” She pulled me up. I chuckled and followed her into the kitchen. I started putting banana slices and cinnamon sugar on mine.  
  
“Is Jace up?” I asked her. She shook his head. “I’ll go get him.” I ran up the stairs and plopped on top of Jace’s bed. He groaned.  
  
“Sleep.” He complained.  
  
“Come on Sleeping Beauty, get your ass up. Your breakfast is getting cold. Gwen made crepes.” I told him. He buried his head. I sighed and started pulling his blankets off the bed. “Up and at ‘em.” I let the blankets fall to the floor. He sat up and stood up, making a face at me.  
  
“Sleeping is so much fun.” He argued. I rolled my eyes. He grabbed me and fell back onto the bed. “Nap with me.” He whined.  
  
“Crepes.” I tried again. “It’s food.” I pushed him off of me and straddled his knees and started pulling on his arms. He just pulled me back to him. This went on for a good few minutes before I got pulled a little too close to his man parts. Yeah, that’s definitely morning-wood that I just rolled on. I gasped and tried to move off of him. “Well, this is awkward.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“You’re hot; what can I say?” He tried.  
  
“Get your ass up!” I told him. He whined the entire way downstairs. I sat down and started eating my food.  
  
“You staying today or are you going home?” Gwen asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I think I might head home later.” I told her. It’ll give me some time to mull things over.  
  
“Want some company?” Jace asked. I nodded.  
  
“Sure.” Well, this is going to be awkward.


	12. A Lot to Think About Part 1

Chapter Eleven:

  
  
“Angela, what’s going on with you? You’ve been acting weird since this morning. Don’t tell me it’s nothing – I know you too well for that.” Jace pried as I bustled around the kitchen. I’m making cookies. It gives me something to take my mind off things. Jace stole some of the cookie dough and popped it into his mouth.  
  
“I just… Things can’t last the way they are. I guess I’m just trying to prepare myself for it. I mean, things are already more complex than they were yesterday morning. Your mom asked about my face. She suspects something. I can’t afford to slip up around her again. Eric called and from the sounds of it, he’s having me followed. And then there’s you. I mean, is it just me or are things weird?” I put the cookie-sheet in the oven and set the timer.  
  
“Would that be so bad? About my mom, I mean? At least if things ever got bad enough, and the cops did have to get involved, there would be an adult that knew something about what was happening.” He stood in front of me. I rubbed my forehead.  
  
“I don’t want her involved. I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I just… I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”  
  
“Alright, but we should start taking date-stamped pictures of your injuries because of him. It’ll help you if it ever comes down to it.” He pressed. I nodded.  
  
“Look, I’ll consider telling your mom, but that’s the best I can do.” I told him.  
  
“And as for me, you know where I stand. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. If that’s your friend, then we’ll stay being friends. Nothing has to change that. I love you. You’re my girl. I’m not gonna take off because you have feelings for someone else or because you don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. That’s the last thing that I want.”  
  
“You’re a god.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“Thor has nothin’ on me.” He winked. I chuckled. “And you can’t control what Eric does. You never have been, now is no different. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, alright? You need to have some fun while it lasts.” He hugged me.  
  
“I love you. You know that? Before you, it’s been a really long time since I’ve been able to say that to anyone and mean it. You’ve been such a godsend the past ever. I really, _really_ appreciate you.” I leaned into him and swiped at my face. I do not need to be crying right now. I’m just stressed. He kissed my forehead.  
  
“Anything for you, doll.” He smiled. “Hey, hey, no tears.” He wiped them away. I nodded.  
  
_I’ve got one confession –_  
_A love deprivation._  
_I’ve got a jet-black heart;_  
_It’s all fucked up and it’s falling apart._  
  
I scrambled to grab my phone out of my pocket.  
  
“Hello,” I answered.  
  
“Hey, beautiful.” Matt sounds tired. He must have just woken up.  
  
“Hey yourself, how’d you sleep?” I asked him.  
  
“Not as well without you.” He joked. “Is Jace with you? I wanted to talk to him and I didn’t have his number.”  
  
“Yeah, he’s right here. Here he is.” I handed him the phone.

* * *

** Jace’s POV**  
  
  
I took Gel’s phone and put it up to my ear.  
  
“Hey,” I answered. Why does he wanna talk to me? I’ve barely spoken to the guy.  
  
“Hey man, you have a minute to talk?” Matt asked.  
  
“Sure thing. I’ll step outside. What’s this about?”  
  
“I just wanted to make sure I’m not stepping on anyone’s toes with Angela. I know how close you are. I also how hard it is to be that close without feelings involved.”  
  
“She’s my girl, bro. She’s like my sister.” I lied.  
  
“Alright, cool. I didn’t want things to be weird, or anything.”  
  
“Nah, I appreciate it. What are you up to? Gel’s baking and she always makes too much. We could order Chinese and all hang out.” I suggested.  
  
“I’m chillin’ with Brian. Would she mind if he came along?”  
  
“Haner? I know him. Nah, she loves company.” I laughed.  
  
“Alright, we’ll be there in about an hour.” He hung up. I went back inside and handed her phone back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"To Be Loved" - Papa Roach


	13. A Lot to Think About Part 2

Chapter Eleven Part II:

  
  
I got a little nervous about Matt coming over. I didn't know how civil Jace would be. I know what he said but boys will be boys. That much never changes. I don't want a pudding contest on my front yard.  
  
The doorbell rang and I answered the door. Brian handed me a few bags of chips. I chuckled.  
  
"Thank you. You didn't have to." I told him. He shrugged.  
  
"Matt said you making cookies so I thought I should bring something."  
  
"You're sweet." I told him. I showed him the kitchen and grabbed him a soda. Matt found his way inside and started talking to Jace. "Sorry to ruin your guys' night." I apologized. He waved away my apology.  
  
"You have cookies. Somehow, I'll survive." He stole one off of the pan.  
  
"So... You play guitar in the band, right?" I asked him. He nodded. "Cool, cool."  
  
"Yeah. I like it. What about you? What's your deal?" He asked. I shrugged.  
  
"I used to be into art. I don't draw as much anymore. I like music, too, but I have no musical talent." I told him. He cracked a smile.  
  
"As long as you're a lover, not a hater." He joked. I nodded. "Do you write?" He asked. I nodded.  
  
"Sometimes," I told him.  
  
"Maybe I could check out your stuff sometime. Matt and I write most of our songs. We're always looking for new material. And I've always been a sucker for poetry." He offered. I nodded. He's easy to talk to. I can easily see us being friends. I can see why the guys like him.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Most of it's not too... Pleasant." I warned him. He shrugged.  
  
"The good stuff never is."  
  
"True. I've got a notebook you can flip through. It's my room." I told him. He followed me into my room.  
  
At least I didn't leave my dirty clothes on the floor this time. I grabbed a couple notebooks out of my desk and grabbed the older books. I was careful not to get anything from after the sexual advances started.  
  
He sat down in my armchair and started leading through it. He didn't say much. I decided to clean out my purse while I waited. It stopped things from getting awkward.  
  
"Angela, these are really good. Are you gonna write in college?" He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
"I guess I haven't thought much about it. I haven't even decided on a school yet. I just wanna go somewhere away from here." I told him.  
  
"Not a fan of Cali?" He asked.  
  
"I love California, but I'm not a fan of my stepfather. He's a dick." I told him. "What about you?"  
  
"I might take a year off and pursue music. We'll see how it goes."  
  
"That's awesome." I told him. Jace poked his head in my room.  
  
"I wanna have fun, too." He whined and dropped himself on top of my lap. I groaned.  
  
"Dude, slim fast. Now."  
  
"But you said you loved my fat rolls." He frowned.  
  
"I lied. I only like your fake fat when it's not crushing me to death." I pushed him off and got up. We grabbed some movies and met Matt in the living room.  
  
After heaps of Chinese take-out, bags of chips, cookies, a belching contest, Nightmare On Elm Street, American Pie, Identity Thief, and The Fast And The Furious, we all laid sprawled across the living room. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard, and all the food.  
  
“We should make a habit of this.” Matt suggested.  
  
“Binging on Chinese?” I asked him. He smirked down at me and played with my hair.  
  
“Hanging out like this every weekend.” He explained. We all murmured agreement.  
  
“My place is good for the next two weeks. We’ll have to find some place else after that.” I told them.  
  
“My mom will never let you leave if you come over.” Jace told Matt. “When Gel told her that you asked her out, she almost died with pride. I think it’ll end like Misery, but without the violence and with duct tape.” He laughed. I shook my head.  
  
“She might tie him to the couch or something and question his intentions. I could see that, actually.” I agreed.  
  
“Who’s game for anywhere but Jace’s place tomorrow?” Brian asked.  
  
“I’m actually going to San Diego to see my dad. It’s been awhile and I wanted to talk to him about school options next year.” I admitted. It seems like as good a time as any. It’s only about three hours away.  
  
“And I’m her partner in crime, in case he decides to douche it up.” Jace volunteered. I rolled my eyes. I hadn’t actually asked him to come along. I hadn’t decided if I wanted company or not. I guess he decided for me.  
  
“Alright, how about dinner Tuesday night? My mom is bugging me about meeting you.” Matt offered. I nodded.  
  
“That’d be great. I’ll probably need something to look forward to after seeing my dad. He’s hard to predict. Now that I’m almost eighteen, he’s been trying to be my friend instead of ignoring me. So, it should go okay. I’m not looking forward to school on Tuesday. Why aren’t we going tomorrow?” I asked.  
  
“I think it’s a paperwork day for teachers or something.” Brian told me. I nodded.  
  
“Guys, if I fall asleep, I’m sorry. If y’all don’t wanna drive, you’re more than welcome to crash here. We’ve got extra bedding out the ass.” I told them.  
  
“I’m gonna take you up on that offer.” Matt smiled. I cuddled closer to him.  
  
After a while we dug out a bounty of blankets and pillows and the living room looked like an insane pallet of bedding. Tonight was awesome. I only hope that tomorrow goes half as well as today did.


	14. Father to Daughter

Chapter Twelve:

  
  
_Living easy – living free,_  
_Season ticket on a one way ride._  
_Asking nothing – leave me be._  
_Taking everything in my stride._  
_Don’t need reason – don’t need rhyme._  
_Ain’t nothing I’d rather do._  
  
I turned the music up louder. Jace and I jammed in the car. We’ve got about an hour left in our drive. It’s been smooth sailing so far. I’m driving up and he’s driving back, which is fine with me. I don’t know how I’m going to be feeling later. Jace nudged me and started head-banging. I started singing along dutifully.  
  
_I’m on the highway to hell,_  
_On the highway to hell,_  
_Highway to hell._  
_I’m on the highway to hell._  
  
We didn’t really talk much, but the music cut through the silence. It’s comfortable. I thought about what I’d say to my father when I see him. ‘Hey Jared, I know we don’t really keep in touch, but I was wondering if you’d let me live with you while I decide on school.’ That doesn’t reek of desperation at all…  
  
The rest of the drive breezed by. We were at Jared’s work before I realized it. I texted him so he knew we were here. Jace and I got out of the car. I fixed my blazer and brushed off my jeans. I put my heels on and checked my hair in the car mirror. I don’t see my real dad often, so I want to make sure I make a good impression. Jace offered me his arm and we headed inside.  
  
I found his office with little difficulty. He saw me from his doorway and smiled at me. I waved. He came out and shook hands with the man he was conversing with.  
  
“Dale, this is my oldest daughter, Angela.” He introduced. I smiled politely, and shook the hand he offered.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled and excused himself.  
  
“It’s nice to see you.” Jared told me, pulling me into a small hug. “There are so many things we need to talk about.” He told me. “I want to atone for how I treated you when you were younger. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a father, but I want to make up for it. I’m here now.” He told me. I feel like I’m dreaming. Did he really just say that to me?  
  
“I wanted to talk to you about University, actually. I’ve already applied to all the schools I’m interested in. I wanted to know if staying with you through the summer before school started in the fall would be a possibility. I won’t be in your hair. I want to try and get an internship over the summer, anyway.” I told him. He looked thoughtful at first.  
  
“I can’t see that being a problem. You’re old enough to take care of yourself. If you would like to stay with me, you’re more than welcome. And, you’ll be eighteen, so guardianship won’t be an issue.” He told me, hugging me again. This is already going better than I planned. “Are you hungry? Why don’t we all go to dinner and catch up.” He offered. “My treat,” he added. Jace nodded enthusiastically.  
  
“You had me at dinner, man.” Jay smiled. I rolled my eyes. Jared laughed.  
  
“I like him. Are you dating?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“He’s my closest friend.” I clarified.  
  
-.-  
  
“You look so much like your mother.” Jared marveled. I laughed.  
  
“You know, you always say that, and I just don’t see it.” I told him. “I just think I look like me.” I told him.  
  
“You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman, nonetheless.” He squeezed my hand. Things are so much different with him. His affection is genuine. It’s not perverted like it is with Eric.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“We’ve only been on one date, but he’s a pretty great guy.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“He’s lucky to have you.” He told me. We talked a little bit of business. He asked me to consider interning with his company. I told him that I’d think it over. Dinner went really well. We ate and talked for hours. He seems like he’s changed so much. He’s currently single. That may be part of it. He was always worried that having me around would cramp his style with his current squeeze. I’m happy to see that has changed.  
  
Dinner was over far too soon. It feels like he has finally grown up enough to be there for someone else. It’s really nice to feel like he can be there for me. It’s something I’ve been craving since I was a little girl.  
  
“I’ll try to come up next month and see you.” I promised him. Jace and I were getting ready to head back.  
  
“Or I can come to you. I don’t mind a little driving to see my baby girl.” He told me. I shook my head.  
  
“Eric wouldn’t like that. I don’t want to make things tense. I’ve got a little less than six months left in his house. I don’t wanna cause any unnecessary problems.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“I respect that, but if you need anything, just let me know.” He told me. He hugged me and kissed my forehead. “Don’t be a stranger. I love you.” He told him. I gave him a small smile.  
  
“I love you, too.” I told him. He smiled. Jace and I piled into my car and Jared waved us off. “That went better than I thought it would.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“He seems like a completely different person.” He told me.  
  
“He does – doesn’t he?” I mused. We didn’t really talk about it anymore. I don’t want to jinx anything. It’s nice to know that I have an ally. I don’t want to put too much faith in him. He’s been known for flaking before. Jace turned up the music and I was left with my thoughts on the way home.  
  
I’m not really looking forward to school tomorrow. It’s not like it’s going to do anything for me. At least I’ll get to see Matt. I’m so nervous about meeting his mom, it’s not even funny. I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that refuses to budge.  
  
Some people would ignore it and convince themselves that everything’s okay. Not me. I learned a long time ago that fear is my best friend. I embrace it and let it guide me. Something is going down, the only question is when. I fear it’ll be far too soon. I have a feeling that Eric is going to back before he says he will. This isn’t going to easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"Highway to Hell" - AC/DC


	15. Back to School and Awkward Encounters

Chapter Thirteen:

  
“Oh my God, I’m so tired.” I complained as I pulled myself out of my car. Jace laughed.  
  
“You could have slept in the car. I told you I’d be fine. You’re the one who insisted on staying up with me.” Jace pointed out. He got out his keys and unlocked my house door and let himself in. I gave him a key maybe a year ago. I thought it might be a good idea if someone could get in, in case anything went south.  
  
“I know, but you couldn’t sleep and drive, so I just wanted to keep things fair. Since when is that a crime?” I asked him. He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Let’s get you to bed, Sleeping Beauty.” He led me to my bedroom. I plopped down on my bed and got comfortable. “That’s what you’re sleeping in?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“I guess not.” I toed off my shoes and got up. I pulled off my jeans and shrugged off my blazer. I grabbed some pajama shorts out of my dresser and slipped them on. “Are you staying?” I asked him. He shrugged.  
  
“I really don’t see the point in driving home when I can just crash here. I’ve got clothes in your closet.” He reminded me. I shrugged.  
  
“You know that I never mind when you sleep over.” I told him. I didn’t mention that I’m elated. I hate being here alone, unless the alternative is Eric. Then I’d pick being alone, any day. I turned away from him and changed my shirt. I took off my bra and pulled it out of my shirt. I laid down and got comfortable again. I watched Jace while he changed. I pulled off his shirt. He doesn’t really look like someone who is so anal about his body, but when you see him shirtless, you know he is. He has muscles out the ass – he just doesn’t always show it.  
  
We’re so different in so many ways. Sometimes, I wonder how we got to be such good friends. I mean, in high school, sometimes finding an actual friend is a feat in itself. Both of us were tired of the bullshit that everyone else seemed to be caught up in. Whenever we were paired together for a school project, I think that’s what started it all. His dad had left him and his mom. I could relate to that. I was tired of hearing about everyone else’s so-called ‘problems’.  
  
Truth be told, I didn’t care who was crushing on whom, or who was spreading rumors. That made me an outcast. I took my mom’s death hard and I never recovered from it, not completely. Eric started being himself pretty much right after that. I was just trying to go to school, get my work done, and survive. Somewhere along the way, Jace reminded me that I needed to do better than that – I needed to live. I’ll never be able to repay him for that. He reminded me what it was like to be loved. For that, I owe him everything.  
  
“Like what you see?” Jace asked. His pajama pants are hanging low on his hips. He kept his shirt off. He walked over to me, smirking.  
  
“Duh, I always like what I see.” I told him, sporting a smile of my own. He shook his head.  
  
“You’re something else, Gel.”  
  
“Something good, I hope.” I told him. He turned off my lamp and laid down next to me.  
  
“Always something good,” he whispered. He kissed my temple and pulled me to him. “Are you okay?” He asked.  
  
“I’m great.” I told him. “I didn’t expect that reaction out of Jared. It was a pleasant surprise.” I told him. “I’m just nervous about meeting Matt’s mom tomorrow. I think it’ll help that it won’t just be us, but, I dunno. It’s stupid. I have a feeling that things are going to get really bad, really quickly.”  
  
“You can’t control what anyone else does. Just try to enjoy your time when your world isn’t crashing down.”  
  
“You always know what to say, Jay.”  
  
“What can I say? It’s a gift. I’m awesome.” He shrugged. I laughed.  
  
“Good night.” I whispered.  
  
“Night.”

* * *

  
“_I like big butts and I cannot lie._  
_You other brothers can’t deny –_  
_That when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty waist_  
_And a round thing in your face,_  
_You get sprung!”_  
  
I jolted awake and fell off the bed. I fumbled around for my alarm, cursing the noise.  
  
“Fucking Jace! You changed my alarm?! You ass.” I blinked, trying to get used to the light. Jace chuckled as he sat up, rubbing his face. I socked him in the shoulder.  
  
“I’ma get you back.” I warned him. He shook with mock fear. “You joke now, but you’re gonna regret it later.”  
  
“What could you do to me that I wouldn’t enjoy?” He asked, smirking. I lunged at him and we rolled around on the bed.  
  
“You’re so cocky.” I complained. He just laughed. I started tickling his sides. He thrashed around. I rolled off the bed and ran into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and jumped in.  
  
“So it’s like that, now?” He asked.  
  
“Bitches shower last!” I told him.  
  
“Alright, fine. But you’re buying breakfast, then.” He decided.  
  
He got out his clothes and put them in the bathroom. I didn’t spend too much time in the shower. I washed my hair and body and did a quick shave. I grabbed my towel and got out of the shower. I walked right into Jace. He reached out his hands to steady me. He took a step back and I followed suit. My foot got caught under the bathroom rug and I fell on him. We both went down.  
  
I took me a minute to process what just happened. I can feel my face radiating heat. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I cursed mentally. I’m wet and naked on top of him. How is that going to help anything? I’m never going to hear the end of this. My eyes never left his face. I’m afraid to move. He didn’t say anything. I moved my hand to my chest and felt for my towel. I feel nothing but skin. I squeezed my eyes closed. Fuck.  
  
He noticed. His eyes followed my movements. Great, now he’s seen me naked. I moved off of him and scrambled for my towel. He helped me up as I frantically tried to cover myself. Once I was decent, I looked anywhere but at him.  
  
“Hey,” he tilted my chin up, so I had to look at him. “Are you okay?” He asked. I nodded, embarrassed.  
  
“I can’t believe that just happened.” I whispered. He chuckled.  
  
“I wasn’t complaining. Women just fall all over me. What can I say?” He teased. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“No need to ever speak of this. Again. Like, ever.” I told him. He laughed and hugged me. I felt the bulge in his pants. I stiffened and pulled away. He seemed to comprehend why. I grabbed my robe and left so he could shower. I waited until he was in the shower before going back in. I put on lotion and undergarments with record speed. I put my robe back on and blow-dried my hair. I put leave-in conditioner in and took extra time on my appearance. I covered my bruises before looking for clothes.  
  
If I’m meeting Matt’s mom, I want to look nice. It’s important that tonight goes okay. I decided on a dress. I don’t wear them, often. I picked a black number. I put on a tight-fitting, white slip, followed by the dress. I looked at my reflection. I look nice. The dress falls right at my knees, and the sleeves go to my elbows. White crossbones cover the dress. My slip looks like an undershirt at the front. It keeps my chest well-covered. I grabbed a burgundy belt with a handcuff buckle and put it on just below my chest.  
  
I grabbed black, spinal cord-heeled, pumps and put them on. I went back into the bathroom and started on my makeup. Jace got out of the shower, towel in hand. I turned around at the wrong time. I saw everything. He smirked and covered up.  
  
“Now, we’re even.” He told me. I rolled my eyes. “You look nice.”  
  
“Hurry up, I’m almost ready.” I told him. He made a face.  
  
“I want a divorce. It’s just nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.” He complained.  
  
“We’re not married. You primp too much for me.” I told him.  
  
“Is that what it is?” He asked, pulling on his clothes. “I thought you were a lesbian. Weird how that got lost in translation.” He grinned. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“No, I’m just out of your league.” I told him.  
  
“Ouch, kitty has claws.” He messed with his hair.  
  
“You like it.” I told him.  
  
-.-  
  
“I need coffee.” I told him, as we got out of the car.  
  
“Duly noted.” He promised. I stuck my tongue out at him. “That’s not very ladylike.”  
  
“You’re not very ladylike.” I countered.  
  
“I should hope not. Last time I checked, I had a penis.” He opened the café door for me.  
  
“That can change.” I told him, smiling.  
  
“Remind me not to piss you off in the morning.”  
  
“You could always apologize.”  
  
“Fine, I’m sorry. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”  
  
“I guess.” I sat down and waited for coffee. We’re regulars here. We don’t have to order most of the time.  
  
“Hey stranger,” Matt sat down next to me. “How was LA?” He asked, putting an arm around me. I leaned into him.  
  
“It was good.” I told him. “Jared was really nice.” I looked at Matt. I didn’t think I was going to see him this morning, but I’m not complaining. Brian sat next to Jace.  
  
“Hey,” he greeted, sipping his coffee.  
  
“You look… Nice.” Matt whispered in my ear. Something about how he said it sent shivers down my spine. He smirked. I didn’t say anything. Our waitress came over to our table.  
  
“Morning baby, you want your usual?” She asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Can I get a side of apples with it, too? I’m starving.” I asked her.  
  
“Sure thing, sweetie. How about you, honey?” She asked Jace.  
  
“Can I get waffles?” He asked.  
  
“You want bacon and hash browns, too?” She asked. That’s what he gets every day. He nodded.  
  
“You know me so well. Gel needs coffee or she may die.” He told her. She chuckled.  
  
“It’ll be right out, darlin’.” She told me. “Boys, do you want your food to come out with theirs?” She asked Matt and Brian. They nodded. “It’ll be out soon.” She told me.  
  
“Thank you, Rosie.”  
  
-.-  
  
School took entirely too long. I spent the majority of it texting.  
  
_You’re still coming tonight, right?_  
_-Angela_  
  
I asked Jace. His response was almost immediate.  
  
_Duh. I wouldn’t miss free food for the world. Just keep the PDA to a minimum. I don’t want to lose my appetite over watching you suck face all night._  
_-Jace_  
  
The nerve. My hands flew over my keyboard.  
  
_You’re really going to say that, Mr. I-have-a-compulsive-need-to-answer-every-phone-call-I-get-while-I’m-balls-deep-in-some-hoe?_  
_-A_  
  
He’s such a turd. My phone buzzed.  
  
_My mom wants to know if 6 o’clock is too early for dinner._  
_-Matt_  
  
I smiled.  
  
_Yeah, of course. Does she still want everyone over?_  
_-A_  
  
I asked him.  
  
_I don’t answer every call, just yours, FYI. And it’s not like they mean anything. You know that._  
_-J_  
  
I sighed. It’s that mentality that’s going to get him in trouble one of these days.  
  
_They have feelings, just like you do. Just because they let you use them, doesn’t mean that they don’t matter. You know that. It’s going to catch up with you, one day._  
_-A_  
  
I hope tonight goes well. I’m so nervous, it’s ridiculous.  
  
_Yes, she wants to meet you. She likes being involved in my life. I wasn’t kidding when I told you we were sort of close. I hope that doesn’t make me lose ‘cool’ points… Lol._  
_-M_  
  
I stifled a laugh.  
  
_No, it’s nice. I wish I would have been able to have that kind of a relationship with my mother. That’s how it is with Gwen, Jace’s mom._  
_-A_  
  
I closed my phone and watched the clock. There’s two minutes left of class. Thank goodness. As soon as the bell rang I went to go find Jace, before he could find a booty call. I don’t want to wait here all the day. And we came in the same car, I can’t just leave him. I went to his locker and saw him depositing books. I pinched his side. He shook me off.  
  
“You ready to go?” He asked. I nodded. “Mom wants to see you before we go to Matt’s.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“Alright.”

* * *

  
Gwen played with my hair and did her best to calm my nerves. She gave me a headband and we spent a good hour just gabbing.  
  
“You should come back after dinner. I don’t like the idea of you staying at your place alone. I worry about you.” She told me. I nodded. “If anyone, _anyone,_ hurts you again, they have me to answer to. Do you understand? You’re so little, honey; I don’t want someone to take advantage of that.” She hugged me.  
  
“I understand.” I told her. I didn’t admit to anything, but I know she means well.  
  
“You ready to head out?” Jace asked. I nodded.  
  
“Let’s go.” I told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix-a-Lot


	16. First Impressions and Relationships

Chapter Fourteen:

  
I knocked hesitantly on Matt’s door. The door swung open and he smiled.  
  
“I’m glad you could make it. I’m sorry if this turns into an interrogation. Mom’s excited to meet you.” He apologized. He took my hand and helped me inside. “Glad you’re here, man.” He told Jace. He laughed and we followed Matt into the kitchen. This place looks so much different when everything isn’t dark. We walked in and I spotted Brian chatting with a really pretty woman that has the same eyes that Matt does. She beamed and rushed over to hug me. I hugged her back, after the surprise wore off.  
  
“You must be Angela. You’re gorgeous. It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve been bugging Matt to bring you over since he took you out.” She gushed. I smiled. I like her, already. She’s just one of those people that you feel instantly comfortable around.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you. Matt’s told me a lot about you.” I told her. That’s not too much of a stretch from the truth. He has told me some about her.  
  
“Where are my manners? I’m Denise.” She told me, pulling away. “Why don’t you sit down? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I’d like to hear more about you.” She told me. I nodded.  
  
“Sounds good.”  
  
“Matt aren’t you going to offer our guests something to drink?” She asked, sternly. I chuckled.  
  
“Sure, you guys want anything?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“Anything is fine.” I told him.  
  
“Are you okay with tea?” He asked.  
  
“Sweet or unsweet?” I asked. He smirked.  
  
“Unsweet, mom doesn’t like all the sugar.”  
  
“Perfect.” I told him.  
  
“Water?” Jace asked.  
  
“You got it.” Matt got the drinks and Denise started putting food on the table.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want help with anything?” I offered. She shook her head.  
  
“I’ve got it covered, but thank you.” She smiled. We all sat down and started ladling food onto our plates. She made chicken and it smells delicious. We ate in a comfortable silence. Brian and Matt cracked some jokes that everyone laughing. This is nice. After we were done eating I helped Matt clear the table and clean up. “You don’t have to do that.” Denise told me.  
  
“I don’t mind.” I told her. She smiled.  
  
“I like her.” She told Matt. He chuckled. We got the dishes done in no time.  
  
“We need desert.” Brian voiced. I laughed.  
  
“I brought cookies.” I told him.  
  
“You know what would go well with cookies?” He asked.  
  
“Ice cream,” he and Jace said in unison. I giggled. “We’ll go get some.” And they left. Leaving us with Denise. She sat down on the couch and we followed suit.  
  
“Tell me about yourself. Matt has only told me the basics.” She told me.  
  
“What do you want to know?” I asked her.  
  
“Tell me about your parents.” She told me. I nodded.  
  
“My mom passed away a few years ago. I live with my stepfather. My real dad lives in San Diego. He’s in the music business.” I told her. She nodded.  
  
“What does your stepfather do?” She asked.  
  
“He’s an opportunist. He’s an entrepreneur. Mainly, he’s the president of a major law firm, but he used to be an architect. He travels a lot, trying to set up new locations in different areas of the world. He dabbles in a lot of different types of business. He doesn’t tell me too much about his work.” I told her.  
  
“Would I know him?” She asked. I shrugged.  
  
“His name is Eric Stronghold. My father’s name is Jared Morgan.” I told her. She nodded.  
  
“I’ve heard of them both. I’m sorry to hear about your mother.” She touched my hand, tentatively.  
  
“It’s alright. It was a while ago.” I told her.  
  
“Do you enjoy school?” She asked.  
  
“I don’t know if I enjoy it, so much as I do my best so I can get out quicker.” I told her. She cracked a smile.  
  
“I was the same way. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do until I was a couple years into college. I think I changed majors three times.” She told me. I nodded.  
  
“I’m honestly not sure what I want to pursue, right now. I think I’ll take a few writing classes, for sure. I’ve already sent all my applications out to schools.” I told her.  
  
“What do you like to do in your free time?” She asked.  
  
“I read a lot. I write some. I like to shop, hang out with Jace and his mom. I’m not very exciting.” I told her. She laughed.  
  
“It’s overrated.” She told me. “I don’t want you to be a stranger. You’re welcome over here, anytime.” She told me.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Are you going to prom?” She asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I doubt it. I haven’t been asked. Sometimes I’ll go with friends and we’ll mock everything, but I don’t see that happening, this time.” I told her. She gave Matt the look.  
  
“Maybe someone will ask you.” She spoke mostly to her son than to me. He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Subtle, mom. Really subtle.”  
  
“It’s part of my charm.” She smiled. “I’m going to go get ready for work. Let me know when the boys get back with the ice cream. I’ll let you two chat.” She excused herself. Matt got up.  
  
“Let’s go talk in my room.” He helped me up and led me to his room. It’s much cleaner today. The bed is even made. He sat down and patted the spot next to him. I sat down. “I appreciate you coming over, tonight. It means a lot to her.”  
  
“I had fun. If my mom was like her, I’d have people over all the time.” I told him. He smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. He leaned forward and kissed me. I closed my eyes and leaned into the kiss. “Should we be doing this?” I asked him. He nodded.  
  
“They’ll let us know when they get back. And Mom won’t come in here without knocking first.” He told me.  
  
“Oh, okay.” I told him. He pulled me onto his lap. I kissed him, hesitantly. He tangled a hand in my hair and pulled my lips back to his. I gasped against his mouth. Our mouths got really familiar, really fast. I don’t know how long we were in there for, but it felt like minutes. He’s the best kind of distraction. He put his hands on my back and held me tighter. I winced and pulled away.  
  
“Are you okay?” He asked. He felt on my back, softly. I winced, again, unable to stop myself. “What happened?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I fell down the stairs at Jace’s the other day. I must’ve bruised something.” I told him, smoothly. Shit.  
  
“If there’s something else going on, you can tell me.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“Hey, what is this?” I asked him.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Are we just fooling around? Or does this mean something? I mean, I haven’t really done any of this before.” I explained.  
  
“I don’t just hook up with girls, to hook up.” He told me. I shrugged.  
  
“We don’t really know each other. And you haven’t answered my question.” I reminded him.  
  
“I want this to be something.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I don’t want to see anyone else.”  
  
“Neither do I.”  
  
“Are you my girl, then?”  
  
“What are you asking me, exactly?”  
  
“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked. I giggled.  
  
“Sure. I’d love to.” I told him. This time I kissed him, hard. He held me to him, careful not to press on my injuries. We stayed entangled until someone banged on his bedroom door.  
  
“Open up, love-birds. We have ice cream.” Jace shouted. I chuckled and climbed off of his lap and opened the door.


	17. True Colors and Punishment

Chapter Fifteen:

  
  
I can’t believe it’s actually official. It’s exciting. It’s surreal. We had dessert at the Sander’s house then we left. I went with Jace back to his place.  
  
“Why are you so happy?” He asked, taking me to his room. I shrugged. “Spill,” he ordered. I smiled.  
  
“Maybe I have a boyfriend, now…” I told him. He smiled and got up and went to the bathroom to change. “I just don’t think things are going to stay going well for too long. I don’t know what to do to shake it.” I told him.  
  
“Maybe you’re not supposed to shake it. Did you think of that? You’re obviously feeling this way for a reason. Listen to your gut; just don’t let it control you. Okay?” He suggested. I nodded.  
  
“When did you get so wise?” I asked him. He shrugged.  
  
“Since… always.” He mused. I laughed.  
  
“Everything always goes straight to your ego.” I shook my head.  
  
“Give me some love.” He held out his arms. I hugged him and we laid down and settled into a movie.

* * *

  
“You can’t just barge in here, Eric! This is private property. Get out before I have you arrested!” Gwen screeched. I sat up and looked at the door. What the fuck. Jace was up and going downstairs, already.  
  
“Why are you even here? Aren’t you supposed to be out of the country?” Jace asked him. Eric smirked.  
  
“I had a couple of days off. I just want to see my daughter.” He growled.  
  
“You’re not welcome in my home. I’m not sending her with you until you calm down.” Gwen told him. Oh my, God. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my bag. I hurried downstairs.  
  
“She’s my daughter. She’s mine.” He told her. He saw me coming down the stairs. He walked over to me but Jace got in front of him.  
  
“She hasn’t done anything wrong.” Jace told him. Eric looked doubtful.  
  
“Get out of my way.” He growled.  
  
“Jay, it’s okay. I can handle this. I’ll go with him. It’s fine.” I told him, with a forced smile. Jace moved and that’s when I smelled Eric’s breath. “You’ve been drinking.” I accused.  
  
“Not too much, I’m fine. Let’s go, I’m taking you home.” He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of their house.  
  
“Eric, you shouldn’t be driving. Let me drive. We can come back here for your car later. I drove here. Please, you shouldn’t be driving like this.” I tried to pull my arm out of his grip on their porch.  
  
“Don’t fuck with me right now, _Angel_. I’m not in the mood.” He growled.  
  
“I’m not, but I don’t have a death wish either. If you want to drive yourself home, that’s fine. I’ll follow behind you in my car. I’m not going to die because you’re grumpy.” I told him. His smirk turned into a snarl.  
  
“So help me God, if you don’t get your pretty, little ass into my car, I will pick you up, throw you on my back, and put you inside, myself.” He threatened, pulling me against him.  
  
“You’re going to do that out here, where everyone can see you?” I asked him. He smirked, again.  
  
“_Angel_, you learn so fast. You have an hour. If you’re not home, then I don’t care who sees me, I’ll drag you home myself. Do you understand me?” He asked. I nodded. “I expect you to be ready and willing when you get home. I have a little surprise for you.” He smiled and stroked my cheek. “Just a little something I picked up on my trip, just for you.” He added.  
  
“Okay. I have to give Jace my schoolwork, so he can hand it in for me. Okay? Then I’ll be on my way home. Can you call school for me? Just tell them I have food poisoning, or something. I can’t have an unexcused absence if I expect to be valedictorian.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“You’re so smart, _Angel_.” He smiled and got into his car. “If you don’t fight me, you might just enjoy it.” He told me before driving off. I sank to the ground after he drove off. Jace came out and held me for a minute. Oh God, what is he planning? I know that he’ll call. He wouldn’t lie about that. I won’t be in school today; chances are I won’t be there tomorrow, either.  
  
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” He asked.  
  
“I’m okay. He only grabbed me – it’s not a big deal. I’ll be fine. Look, I’m going to give you my assignments. Can you hand them in for me, please?” I asked him.  
  
“Of course, but I don’t want you to go with him. He’s going to kill you.” He whispered.  
  
“He won’t kill me. He’ll push me around, a little bit, but that’s it.” I assured him. I know he doesn’t believe me. There’s nothing I can say that will make him feel better. “Look, I’m not going to be at school today and chances are, I won’t be there tomorrow, either. Just tell Matt I’m sick, okay? If you don’t hear from me by tomorrow night, call the police. Okay?” I asked him. He nodded.  
  
“Just… be careful. Take care of yourself. You know I worry about you. I can’t lose you, Gel. I love you, too much.” He kissed my temple. I hugged him. He kissed my cheek. I honestly have no idea how today is going to go. Tears fell down my cheeks. I wiped them away. I squeezed him and kissed his cheek. He pulled me into a tighter hug. He leaned down kissed my lips. It was soft and short. I pulled away and looked up at him.  
  
“We— we can’t go there, Jay. I love you, but I’m not willing to risk what we have. You mean too much to me.”  
  
“I know. And I know I shouldn’t have gone there, but if something happens to you, I don’t want there to be a doubt in your mind that I’ll always be here for you. I love you. If he hurts you, he better leave town.” He promised.  
  
“Don’t ruin your life over me. I’ll be fine. I left my stuff in your room. You’ll see it. Tell Gwen I’m sorry about Eric. I’ve gotta go. Be good.” I left before I changed my mind. I got into my car and tried to build up my confidence. I can handle this. It’s nothing that I haven’t dealt with before. I’ve got this.  
  
I was at my house all too soon. I’m not ready for this. Who am I kidding? I’m never ready for it. I moved all of my cash to my car. I left my spare key in the glove compartment. There are almost never any thefts in this neighborhood. It’s well patrolled and a lot of the people who live around us are well-respected and high in power. I left the passenger door unlocked. I left my bag of clothes underneath the driver’s seat. If something happens, I’ve got to have a way to get out. Here’s my way. As long as I can get out of my bedroom window, I’ll be fine.  
  
I took a deep breath and headed inside. The door was unlocked. I closed it and left it that way. I set my phone down in my room. I don’t want anything to happen to it. I went into Eric’s room. He’s lying on his bed. He beckoned me over to him.  
  
“You’re such a good girl. You’re so… _obedient_.” He smirked. “Come sit with daddy.” He patted the bed. I walked over to him, slowly. He took my hand and pulled me down to him. I complied with everything. If I don’t fight him, things might not get too violent. He loves when I fight. Today, I can see the thirst for blood in his eyes. It worries me. He slipped a hand into my shorts and started toying with my lady-parts. “You’re never wet for me. Why is that?” He murmured against my neck. I didn’t say anything. “Does Matt get you wet? I bet he does. I bet you let him do anything he wants with you.” He growled. He yanked my hair back.  
  
“That’s not true. I haven’t done anything with him. The most we’ve done is kiss. I’ve never let anyone else do anything more. You know that.” I whimpered.  
  
“Oh, I do. How else would you stay so damn _tight_ for me? You save yourself just for me. I love it.” He smirked. He bit my neck. I squealed and squirmed against him. He pressed his lips to my mouth and worked his tongue onto mine. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to shut it out. I don’t want to be here. The sooner it starts, the sooner it’ll be over. “Do you want to see your presents?” He asked me. I didn’t say anything. “Of course you don’t, but I can’t wait to see you wear them.” He smirked.  
  
He got up and yanked me up with him. He pulled some lingerie off of the wall and handed it to me. That’s weird. That wasn’t there before. It looks brand new. At first glance it looks like a hook for clothes, like if you were setting out clothes for the next day. Somehow, I think he has something else planned for it.  
  
“Put these on.” He told me.  
  
“What happens after I do?” I asked him, quietly.  
  
“Then, I’m going to make you scream.” He grinned. I feel sick to my stomach. He walked over to me and started pulling off my clothes, with an unnatural gentleness. Soon, I was naked, and he looked horny. He pulled me to him and shoved two fingers inside of me. I winced and tried to think of anything else. “If I do this long enough, we both know you’ll get wet.” He kept up his movements for a few minutes before stopping. “I think you’re ready, now.” He beamed. It’s not too late to run. I edged closer to the door. “If you try, you won’t make it out of this house alive.” He growled.  
  
I gulped and stopped in my tracks. He yanked my backwards and pushed me into the wall. I stood my ground. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me closer to his body. He put the nightie onto me, if you can even call it that. It’s more string and sheer material than anything else.  
  
“You look even better than I imagined.” He licked his lips. I shrunk back. I feel like his prey. He pushed me onto the floor. I didn’t have time to brace myself. My head hit with a loud crack. I winced. I tried to focus on what he was doing. He put panties on me. That’s new. He’s never done that before. He started stroking my lower lips. I can feel his fingertips, they must be crotchless. I knew he was kinky, but damn.  
  
He pulled my arms above my head. I struggled against him. He pulled something from his back pocket. I felt it before I realized what he had done. He handcuffed me. I can’t move, especially when he’s holding me like this. He picked me hung me from the hook. I’m facing the wall. I’ve got to be at least three inches off of the ground. God, this hurts. I can hear him taking off his belt.  
  
“You’re mine. Do you understand that?” He growled. I whimpered but didn’t say anything. “I will not share you with anyone else. You’re getting one for every day I was gone, for every person you stayed the night with, and every time you defied me while I was away.”  
  
“What am I getting?” My voice broke.  
  
“You’re getting whipped, dear. Even angels need to be broken, sometimes.” I heard the first crack before I felt the sting. I cried out. I know this is going to go on for awhile. Hopefully, I’ll get numb, and I won’t be able to feel it after awhile.  
  
Time seemed to crawl by. I lost count how many times I felt the leather across my back. I felt every sting. Each one hurt a little bit more. I wasn’t numb to anything. The pain only intensified. I felt tears leaking down my face, steadily. At first, the hits were steady. Now, he just seems angry. They’re coming faster, and faster. After a minute, I could hear something else. He groaned. I can hear him stroking himself behind me. This is getting him hot. It only made me cry harder.  
  
“Don’t cry, baby. It’s almost over. Have you learned your lesson?” He asked. I didn’t say anything. If I give an inch, it won’t make anything easier. The next cracks landed on my legs, just under my ass. I winced. He kept at it on my legs. I won’t be able to sit for days. I felt something warm splatter on my back. I don’t have to see it to know what it is. There’s no way it’s blood. He actually had the nerve to come on my wounds.  
  
He wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me off of the hook. I cried out as he turned me around and put me back on the hook, this time facing him.  
  
“Hurting me isn’t going to change anything.” I told him. He smirked. “Beating me will never make me yours. One day, I hope you’ll understand that. But, until then, maybe you’ll take my word for it. You can’t break me.” I yelled at him. He backhanded me. I felt my lip split open. I spit the blood out on the floor.  
  
“Take a look around – you’re already broken.” He laughed. I kicked him in the thigh. He groaned and used his belt to whip my front. I winced.  
  
“You’re nothing.” I told him. He dropped the belt and took off his pants. He backhanded me, again. He leaned into me and punched me in my gut. I started coughing. Shit. He’s strong.  
  
He rolled on a condom and slammed his length inside of me. He gripped my hips with a vice-like grip. I screamed. He didn’t let up. He plowed into me harder and faster. I kept whimpering. He covered my mouth with his hand. My tears soaked his hand. He grinned. His nails tore through my skin.  
  
Please, God, let him finish soon. He picked up speed. I feel so helpless. Everything’s starting to go numb. He moved his hand from my mouth to my throat. No, not this again. I struggled harder before everything went black.  
  
-.-  
  
I came to and I was still handcuffed. I tried to get up but Eric pushed me back down. At least he’s clothed, again. He smiled down at me. He tried to cup my cheek but I moved away from him. He head-butted my face and kneed my stomach. I curled into a ball. When will it be over?  
  
“Did you have fun, _Angel_?” He asked. I didn’t answer.  
  
“I want you to get something out this, this time.” He pulled a gadget out of a bag. It looks like a child’s toy. He flipped a switched and it started vibrated. Oh, shit. I tried to squirm away from him, with little success. “I want to make you come for me, baby. Can you do that?” He asked. I shook my head. He smirked. “You’re going to. I know your body better than you do.”  
  
He squeezed some lubricant into his hand and ran it over my clitoris. I kept trying to move, but he held me in place. He straddled my ankles. I tried to sit up, but I couldn’t move my top half. I looked around and saw that I was handcuffed to his bed-frame. Fuck. He moved his fingers inside of me while his other hand controlled the vibrator. I clamped my mouth shut.  
  
I hate myself for responding to his advances. I hate what he’s doing, but my body says otherwise. I hate it. I cried, silently.  
  
He’s doing his best to stimulate me. I can feel the pressure starting to build. He’s done a lot of things but he’s never tried to give me an orgasm. I can honestly say that I haven’t had one before. I hate that he’s going to be the one to take this from me, too.  
  
He’s moving so gently, and in just the right way. All too soon I lost control of my body and I went rigid. My back arched and I let out a strangled cry. I lost myself in a whirlwind of emotion and pleasure. He let me ride out my high. He uncuffed me and got off of my legs. I can’t bring myself to look at him.  
  
“How was it?” He asked me, pulling me to him. I didn’t respond.  
  
“Start using that tongue, or I’ll put it to use, elsewhere.” He threatened.  
  
“Awful.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“I do something nice for you, and you can’t even appreciate it. Is that how it is? How do you want me? To be gentle or just take it?” He asked.  
  
“You just take what you want from me, anyway. Don’t act like you give me a choice.” I told him. He smirked.  
  
“That’s true.” He agreed. He rolled on another rubber. I scrambled off of the bed, trying my best to push myself as fast as possible. “I love to chase.” He laughed. I can hear him behind me. I made it outside his room and just past the hall. I hesitated for a second and that was my downfall. He shoved me into the dining room table. I crumpled to the floor. I tried and failed to push myself up. My wrists are too weak.  
  
He picked me up and bent me over the table. I sobbed, uncontrollably.  
  
“Make no mistake; I’m far from done with you.” He pushed himself inside of me. I cried out. He thrust in and out without mercy. Even after I felt like I couldn’t take anymore, he didn’t stop. He wouldn’t give up.  
  
After what felt like hours, I felt his penis swell and spasm. He emptied his tainted seed inside of me. He pulled out of me and sat me on top of the table. He watched me for a minute, before pulling off the condom and disposing of it. He grabbed my hair and pulled me to the floor. He shoved his manhood in my face. I turned my face and looked away.  
  
“You better wrap your sweet lips around it, _Angel_, or I’m going to find a new place to stick it.” He warned. I muffled a cry. “Just get it clean, _Angel_. You don’t have to do anything else.” He told me. I nodded and did what I was told. I took him in my mouth and tried my best to get him clean as quickly as I could. “Is there any part of you that doesn’t feel good?” He groaned. He locked his hands behind my head and buried his length deep inside my throat. I gagged. It’s hard to breathe. He kept thrusting deeper and deeper. He finished sooner than I expected. He pulled out and I spit his jizz on the floor. He can clean up the mess.  
  
I tried to get up, but failed. He lifted me to my feet, gently. I can barely walk. I’m so sore, it’s ridiculous. He walked me to my room and helped me into the bathroom. He took off my clothes and set me in the shower. I enjoyed the hot water. It feels good cascading across my welts. He shed his clothes and came in to hold me up.  
  
“I love you.” He whispered, kissing my temple. I laughed. It was hoarse and hysterical. He growled and twisted my wrist back behind me. I heard it pop. “There’s nothing funny about this.”  
  
“How can you do this to someone you ‘love’?” I asked him. He remained silent.  
  
“This is the only way I know how to love, _Angel_. This is how my father treated my mother. I don’t know anyway else to show it.”  
  
“You didn’t treat my mother this way.” I argued.  
  
“I never loved her. I love you. She was someone to keep me company. I was lonely. I was never infatuated with her. I’m infatuated with you.” He whispered.  
  
“Love isn’t supposed to be selfish.” I told him, crying.  
  
“Do you want me to change?” He asked me. I nodded. At that moment, he looked so child-like and filled with innocence. “I’ll try.” He promised.  
  
“I don’t believe you. You can’t change. I’m not getting my hopes up. No matter how much you hurt me, I’ll never be yours.” I told him. He washed me and himself. He dried us both off and he put me in a sleeping shirt and a pair of panties. He carried me to my bed and tucked me in.  
  
“I’m going to get you some Vicodin. I’ll be right back.” He left. I sobbed into my pillow. It hurts to move. It feels like he broke my left wrist. I’m in no condition to leave. Tomorrow, I’ll try. He came back with the pills and a cup of water. He fed me the pills and the water. I took them and waited for the numb feeling. He kissed my forehead and left the room. I got up and locked my door. I laid back down and dialed Jace.  
  
“Gel?” He asked.  
  
“I’m alive, Jay. You don’t have to worry about me.” I told him.  
  
“How bad is it?” He asked.  
  
“You don’t want to know. Look, I took something for the pain. I’m going to bed. I’ll text you in the morning and let you know how I’m doing.” I promised.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“Yeah, love you, too. I gotta go.” I hung up and started to cry myself to sleep.


	18. Apologies and Testosterone

Chapter Sixteen:

  
  
My phone jolted me awake. I jumped and fumbled around for my phone. I can barely see out of one eye – it must be swollen. I’m afraid to look in the mirror. I finally found my phone.  
  
“Hello?” I croaked.  
  
“Hey beautiful, how are ya feeling? Jace said you had the flu or something.” Matt said. I frowned against my phone. I hate that I can’t see him anymore.  
  
“I feel like I was hit by a bus.” I told him, honestly. He laughed. “Look, I didn’t want to do this on the phone, but I don’t know when I’ll be able to see you again.” I explained.  
  
“No worries, just get better. I’ll see you when you’re feeling better.”  
  
“No, that’s not what I mean. Eric is back in town and he doesn’t really want me dating anyone.” I told him, my voice broke and I felt tears running down my face.  
  
“Are you serious, right now? He hasn’t even met me.”  
  
“I know. Look, I’m sorry. He’s always been really protective of me. It’s just not a good idea for me to see you right now.” I told him.  
  
“Are you breaking things off with us?” He asked, clearly upset.  
  
“No, of course not. I don’t want to lose you, Matt. We just need to cool things down for awhile. Okay? He gets temperamental when I don’t listen to him.” I told him.  
  
“Can I see you?” He asked.  
  
“No. Look, I’ll text you. And I’ll see you at school.” I told him.  
  
“This isn’t about you getting cold feet or anything?” He asked.  
  
“No, I’ve never even dated before you. It’s not me, I swear. Can you just trust me? Please? He’ll be out of town sometime in the next week or so. We’ll be able to do something then. I’m sorry. I’ve got to go. Someone’s at the door.” I told him. I hung up. I groaned and got up. I managed to pull some pants and make my way to the living room. I don’t see Eric. He must have left for the day. I walked over to the front door and peeped out the peephole. It’s Jace. I let out a breath of relief.  
  
I unlocked the door and pulled it open. His face contorted when he saw me. He looks so pained. I smiled and leaned in for a hug. He hugged me and came inside. We went into my room. I sat down and watched him as he locked my door. If Eric gets home while he’s here, he can always go out my window. He’s done it before.  
  
“How bad is it?” He asked me, touching my face. I winced.  
  
“It’s really bad.” I whispered. He frowned.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“I just couldn’t. I was in no condition to do anything other than sleep last night. I feel worse today, though.” I told him. He sighed.  
  
“We need to document this. I need to take pictures.” He told me. He pulled out his camera. I nodded. He helped me pull off my clothes. I kept my underwear on, but that’s it. He took pictures of my back, the insides of my legs, my front, and a few of my face, and my sides. “Is anything broken?” He asked me. I shook my head.  
  
“It feels like my wrist is dislocated, maybe fractured.” I told him. He traced my back.  
  
“This needs to be washed, or it could get infected.”  
  
“Okay, I’ve got a first aid kit in the bathroom.” I told him. I followed him to the bathroom and let him disinfect my body. It stung, but it’s one less thing to worry about. “It hurts to sit down.” I told him. He looked at all my welts.  
  
“What did he do?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“You don’t want to know.”  
  
“What did he whip you with?” He asked.  
  
“His belt.” I whimpered. After he finished, he held me. He held me and let me cry.  
  
“This shouldn’t be happening. Something needs to change.” He whispered.  
  
“I’m doing everything I can to make sure that happens.” I told him.  
  
“Then you need to report him.” Jace whispered.  
  
“I can’t. He said if I tried to leave, he’d kill me before I made it out of the house. He said that last night. He’s not going to let me go.” I told him. Jace kissed my forehead.  
  
“Gel, you’re burning up. If you get worse you have to go to a doctor. You can’t just treat this kind of thing at home.” Jace whispered. I got up and put on a loose-fitting shirt and a new panties. I grabbed a pair of leggings and he helped me put it on. Someone pounded on my door. I walked over and opened it. Eric stood on the other side, with a small smile on his face. I think he expected Jace to be here. For whatever reason, he’s never minded him being here… ever. I’m not sure why.  
  
“Angel, how are you feeling?” He asked me, moving my hair out of my face. He leaned down and kissed my cheek.  
  
“Worse than last night. I think I have a fever. Jace said I was burning up.” I told him. Eric held the back of his hand to my forehead and nodded. Jace walked over to me and looked Eric in the eye.  
  
“She needs to go to the doctor and have her wrist checked out. I did what I could to clean her back, but she’s probably going to need something prescription to put on it.” He stood up to Eric. Eric nodded.  
  
“I have a doctor that can probably make room in his schedule to see her.” Eric told him. “Jace, what are you doing for dinner?” He asked him. Jace shrugged.  
  
“Nothing that I know of, why?” He asked.  
  
“Why don’t you come over for dinner? A thank you for taking care of my daughter.” Eric suggested. He seems sincere. It’s hard to tell with him.  
  
“Sure thing. I’d never say no to hanging out with Gel.” He smiled. “Thanks for the invite. I better go and let my mom know I won’t be home for dinner. Should I bring anything?” He asked.  
  
“If you wouldn’t mind picking up some gingerale, that would be great.” Eric told him. Jace nodded.  
  
“Sure thing. See ya soon.” He kissed my forehead and headed out.  
  
“How bad is it?” Eric asked me.  
  
“My wrist feels all kinds of fucked up. It’s almost impossible to sit down. It hurts to walk. I can’t sleep comfortably. I’m pretty sure I look like that giant goon from The Goonies. I haven’t even been able to look at myself in the mirror.” I told him, trying not to cry. I don’t know what’s up with my emotions today. “And I feel so violated, it’s not even funny.” I told him.  
  
“Angela, that was… That was never my intention. I just get so carried away with you, sometimes.”  
  
“That’s not an apology. And that same tired excuse isn’t good enough, anymore.” I told him. “It’s never been good enough. You’re deluding yourself, if you think that it is.”  
  
“I am sorry.” He told me.  
  
“I’ll believe that when it stops happening.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Do you need anything?” He asked me.  
  
“Maybe icing something will help.” I told him.  
  
“Let’s get you to the couch.” He offered me a hand. I declined and walked myself over. Someone rang the bell.  
  
“That must be Jace. That was fast.” I walked over to the door.  
  
“I’m going to grab the takeout menus. We can order whatever you want.” He told me. “If he wants to stay tonight, I’d be okay with it.” He added, as he went over to the kitchen. I chuckled. It’s amazing what he’ll do when he feels guilty and he thinks he can make up for it by doing little things. I pulled the door open.  
  
“That was fast; where did you go?” The words were out of my mouth before I looked up to see who it was. Matt stood there, bearing soup and flowers. I gaped at him. His face dropped.  
  
“Oh my, God. Who did this to you?” He asked. He stepped forward to touch my face. “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you? Is that why you told me you couldn’t see me anymore?” He questioned. Before I had a chance to say anything, Eric was at my side.  
  
“You must be Matthew.” Eric extended his hand. Matt shook it. “I’m Eric – Angela’s father. I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you.” He told him. “That’s very kind of you to bring those for _Angel_. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but my daughter isn’t allowed to date.” Eric told him.  
  
“With all due respect sir, you don’t even know me. I would never do anything to hurt her.” Matt tried to assure him.  
  
“Nonetheless, she isn’t allowed to date.” He told him. Matt’s face is unreadable.  
  
“Maybe that will change after you get to know me, sir.” Matt told him.  
  
“You’re welcome to try to change my mind, though it will probably be a waste of your time.” Eric got in front of me, pushing me back into the house.  
  
“I don’t think that’s your decision to make. Angela’s almost eighteen.”  
  
“I know what’s best for my daughter.” He argued. “I think it’s time for you to go.” Eric told him. I pulled on Eric’s sleeve.  
  
“Can I have a minute to talk to him? Please? I’ll keep the door open, but I need to ask him to thank his mother for making me soup. I promise it won’t take long.” I told him. He nodded and went back into the kitchen and watched us. “Hey, I’m sorry about him. I tried to tell you when you called, earlier. I wasn’t lying to you. I was telling you the truth.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“I see that, now. I just – I’m sorry. Mom wanted me to bring you soup and the flowers are from me. I’m sorry for being an ass, earlier. Are you sure you’re okay? You look awful.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. It looks worse than it is. Look, I’ve gotta go. I’ll text you. Thank you for the flowers and the soup.” I told him. He stepped forward to hug me and I took a step back. “That wouldn’t be best right now. I don’t want him to flip a gasket because you hug me.”  
  
“Take care of yourself, okay?” He told me. I nodded. I will.  
  
“Bye Angela.”  
  
“Later,” I waved him out. I went inside and got a vase for the flowers. I cut the stems down and set the flowers on my vanity in my bathroom. By the time I came out of my room Eric had all the takeout menus laid out on the coffee table. I limped over the couch and laid on top of the ice packs. Eric gave me a fever reducer and some water. I took the pills relaxed. “Mediterranean?” I asked him.  
  
“Anything you want is fine.” He told me. The door opened and Jace walked in.  
  
“What up, peeps?” He asked before plopping down next to me. I sat up and laid back down, using his lap as a pillow.  
  
“You wanna stay tonight? I got permission and everything.” I whispered. He laughed at me.  
  
“Sure. I don’t want to leave you alone right now.”


	19. Doctor Visit

Chapter Seventeen:

  
  
I cuddled up to Jace as I started to wake up. I peered at my alarm clock. It’s only two in the morning. He opened his eyes and watched me.  
  
“What’s on your mind, Gel?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I just woke up. I feel awake, though. I’ve done so much sleeping in today and yesterday.” I told him. He sat up and took me with him, cradling me to his side.  
  
“Your body needs it to heal.” He told me.  
  
“I know, but I need to stay up a little bit so I can sleep later.”  
  
“What do you want to do?” He asked me. I shrugged. “TV?” He suggested. I nodded.  
  
“Supernatural?” I asked him.  
  
“Whatever you want is fine.” He got up and grabbed one of the box-sets and put one of the discs into my DVD player. We laid down and watched Sam and Dean save the world. Sometimes I just want to get lost in something outside of my life. I relish in it. I need it. It makes my life so much more bearable. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jace asked me. I nodded. “You don’t have to talk about anything you’re not ready to.”  
  
“I just, yesterday, I wondered if he was going to too far and if he was serious about killing me if I tried to leave him. I don’t know if he meant it for yesterday or just in general. He’s never taken it as far as he did last night. He whipped me, Jay.” My voice cracked. I turned away from him. He rubbed my back. I winced and he rubbed my arm instead. “I feel so… violated. He did things that he’s never done, before.” I told him. He hugged me.  
  
“What did he do?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“I don’t want you to look at me differently. I don’t want you to know.” I cried. We didn’t say much after that. We watched Supernatural in silence.

* * *

  
I woke up to the sun shining through my curtains. It’s ten in the morning. Jace is still here. I shook him.  
  
“What? I’m sleeping.” He whined.  
  
“It’s after ten. You’re late for school.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“I’m not going. Mom is calling in for me.” He told me. “I’m not letting you go to the doctor alone with him. Do you hear me? You’re not doing this alone.” He told me, kissing my cheek.  
  
“You don’t have to.” I told him.  
  
  
“I want to.” He told me. He helped me undress and get into the shower. I managed to get clean and wash and condition my hair. As soon as I dried off, I pulled on a loose T-shirt, panties, and leggings. I put on socks and slipped on my vans. I grabbed a sweater and put it on. Jace grabbed my bag and we headed to my car. I put on my sunglasses and let him drive. Eric is supposed to meet us there.  
  
We got there sooner than I thought. I signed in and we were taken to a private hospital room. Eric must’ve paid a lot to keep things hush-hush. I sat on the bed and waited for the doc to show. The doctor came in followed by Eric.  
  
“I don’t care what the treatments cost, I’ll pay for it. This has to be kept quiet.” Eric told the doctor. He nodded.  
  
“If you wouldn’t mind waiting in the waiting room while I view my patient, I would appreciate it.” The doctor told him. He glowered.  
  
“I want to be here for my daughter.” He insisted.  
  
“I think you’ve done quite enough, otherwise you wouldn’t need me to clean up your mess.” The doctor gestured to the door. Eric left without saying anything else. He closed the door behind him. “Hello, I’m Dr. Sullivan. You can call me Mark.” He offered me his hand. I shook it, softly. “Can you take off your glasses, please?” He asked. I nodded and pulled them off. I handed them to Jace.  
  
“I’m Angela.” I told him, my voice was gruff. He smiled, warmly.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you, dear.” He told me before examining my face. He didn’t say much just looked. “Are you hurt elsewhere?” He asked. I nodded. “Can you remove your clothes and put on a hospital gown?”  
  
He asked me. I nodded. He handed me a gown and left room. Jace helped me change. I sat back down and waited for him to come back.  
  
“Where are you injured?” He asked me.  
  
“I’ve got bruises all over.” I told him.  
  
“I’m going to untie your gown and take a look at your back.” He told me.  
  
“Alright. Do what you have to do, doc. I’d give anything for something for the pain. It hurts to sit down.” I told him.  
  
“Would it be easier to stand?” He offered. I shook my head.  
  
“You’ll need me to be sitting to see the bruises inside of my legs.” I told him. He nodded, solemnly. He pressed on the welts on my back. I tried not to make too much noise. He looked at my arms and my stomach. He spent a lot of my time on my wrist.  
  
“I’ll need to do some x-rays on your wrist and your ribs.” He told me. “I think your wrist may be fractured. I'm not sure about your ribs.” He told me.  
  
“Okay.” I told him. He looked at the bruises inside my legs. He frowned.  
  
“Are there any wounds I haven’t seen?” He asked me.  
  
“I have some nasty welts right underneath my butt and I think I may have something torn around my, um, lady-parts.” I told him.  
  
“Would you mind if I took a look?” He asked.  
  
“I’d prefer it, actually. I just wanna heal.” I told him. He asked me to lie on my stomach. His fingers felt cold on my backside. Soon he asked me to move to my back. He took a look at what I thought was torn. It feels like he did something that burns.  
  
“You’re going to have to take it very easy, I’m afraid. I’m going to prescribe you different antibiotic ointments for your vaginal tears and for your welts. I’ll need to relocate you wrist and do some X-Rays. You’re very lucky that more damage wasn’t done, Angela. Neither of your wrists are in the best of shape. You’ll need to ice them regularly, and take it easy. The best I can do is give you a cast if you have a fracture and prescribe you pain medication. I want you to come back and see me twice a week and don’t hesitate to call if you have any issues. I’m going to give you my cell number. If you ever need anything, feel free to call me. Your stepfather undoubtedly has problems controlling himself.”  
  
“Thank you – I appreciate it. Can we do the x-rays today?” I asked him.  
  
“I don’t see why not. I can take you right now.” He told me. I nodded. Jace helped me up and we set off for x-rays.

* * *

  
We finally finished at the hospital. We stopped by the drugstore so I could fill my prescriptions. There are entirely too many of them. I stocked up on Gatorade and soup, too.  
  
“Get some sleep. I’m going to watch TV in the living room.” Jace told me.  
  
“You don’t have to stay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I told him. He shook his head.  
  
“I’ll leave when you leave. I’ll talk to Eric about you coming and staying with me at my house. He’s leaving tomorrow, I think. My mom already knows something is up. I don’t think she’ll say anything without talking to you first. It can’t hurt to have her on your side.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“What am I supposed to do about Matt?” I asked him. He shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know. Talk to him.” He told me. He tucked me in and I took my pills. I pulled out my phone.  
  
_I’m really sorry about the past couple of days. Things have been crazy. I miss you. Thank you so much for the flowers yesterday. It was so sweet of you. I should be back to school next week._  
_-Angela_  
  
I put my phone under my pillow and closed my eyes. Hopefully Eric leaves tomorrow, and I can leave this godforsaken house.


	20. Clouds and a Hammock

Chapter Eighteen:

  
  
The doc was right about the fractured wrist. The relocation hurt like a fucking bitch, though. I have three cracked ribs. And I feel high as a kite right now. I don’t know how, but Jace managed to get Eric to agree to me staying at his place for a few days. He said something about giving me space to recuperate. He is supposed to stop by in a couple of days to say goodbye before he heads back to Japan. He gave his word that there wouldn’t be another surprise visit, this time.  
  
I laid on the hammock on the Atwood’s porch and just swayed and watched the clouds. I have no idea how I had been out there or what time it was. But the clouds were so damn pretty. They looked just like cotton candy and I wanted to touch them.

* * *

  
I jerked awake when I heard someone say my name. It took me a couple of minutes to focus, but I saw Gwen’s face. She was frowning.  
  
“How ya feelin’, Baby?” She asked me, touching my forehead. Her frown deepened. “You still haven’t broken your fever. I can give you more meds in a couple of hours, but not before. I’ll get you an ice pack and something cold to drink, hopefully that’ll help a little bit.”  
  
“I feel light as a feather.” I told her, smiling. It didn’t even hurt to smile now, but I can feel blood dribbling down my chin. “Oops.” I giggled at the blood.  
  
“I’ll get you a damp washcloth.” She told me. I nodded. She was back before I realized she had left. I was mesmerized by the clouds, again. “How long has he been doing this?” She asked me, pressing the cloth to my mouth. I shrugged.  
  
“A few years, but it just got this bad a while ago.” I told her. She nodded.  
  
“Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked me.  
  
“I didn’t want him to hurt you, too.” I told her.  
  
“You don’t have to worry about me, sweetie. That’s my job. I want to make sure you’re okay. Who’s going to protect you?” She asked.  
  
“I just have to make it until I’m eighteen.” I mumbled.  
  
“What if he kills you before then?”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll live with the clouds and see my Mom again. At least I won’t have to live with him, anymore.”  
  
“You don’t have to live with him now. You can stay here. You already have your claim on our guest room. You know that you’re always welcome.”  
  
“He’ll never let me go, not unless he has no choice in the matter.”  
  
“Baby, that’s too much weight for one girl.” She whispered.  
  
“I’m not a little girl.” I reminded her. I was starting to come out of my daze. The pain meds are finally starting to wear off. I grimaced. I know I have a while until I can take anything, again. I’ll just suck it up and deal with the pain in the mean time.  
  
“I know.” She looked sad. “I’m going to make some dinner. Is there anything you want?” She asked me.  
  
“Macaroni sounds good.” I told her. She nodded.  
  
“Mac and cheese coming up.” She told me.

* * *

  
“Gel, wake up.” Jace was rubbing my cheek. I opened my eyes and forced myself to focus on him. He smiled. I started to sit up and swung my legs over the side of the hammock. I looked at the ground and pondered how much it would hurt if I fell. He looked at me like he was reading my mind and he picked me up. He carried me to the table. “That better?” He asked. I nodded. “Matt’s been asking about you.  
He’s really worried. You’re going to have to tell him something. I think it’d be easier if you told him the truth. Well, some version of the truth, at least.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll call him after dinner.” I told him.  
  
“He wants to see you.” He told me. I bit my lip.  
  
“He can after Eric leaves. He’s the reason all of this happened. He doesn’t want me to see Matt. He got possessive. I really can’t take another beat-down, right now.” I told him.  
  
“Yeah, alright. Eric said he was heading out tomorrow or the day after.” He told me.  
  
“Good. I might just stay here while he’s gone. I’ll go back and get clothes, but I hate staying at the house.” I admitted.  
  
“We’d feel better if you stayed here.” Gwen smiled. I nodded.  
  
“Cool. I’m starving is there anymore?” I asked.

* * *

  
Jace didn’t let me out of his sight. I’ve been sleeping in his room with him. He’s paranoid that way, but it’s refreshing. I like the company. I have knots in my stomach about talking to Matt. I texted him and told him I could talk to him face to face after Eric left town. He didn’t push it, but I know the actual conversation won’t go over that well.  
  
I’ll worry about tomorrow’s problems tomorrow. Tonight, I’ll sleep and try not to relive the past.


	21. The Truth Hurts

Chapter Nineteen:

  
  
I tried to get up quietly, so I didn’t wake Jace. He hasn’t said anything, but I know that he’s been stressed. He won’t vent to me, right now, but I know that I’m the one that’s stressing him out. I hate that I put this burden on him, but in a way, it makes things easier. It’s a lot less hiding and I think it’s made us closer.  
  
I knew that I could trust him, but now I realize just how much. He’s been by my side through everything. I’m not sure if I could ever even begin to make it up to him, or Gwen, but I’m gonna try.  
  
I crept downstairs, slowly… That’s an understatement. Think snail-pace, but slower. It feels like everything I do pains me in some way or another. Oh well. Once I made it to the kitchen, I pulled out the eggs. I got out everything I’d need to make them breakfast. If I’m quiet enough, I might actually be able to pull this off.  
  
I had the eggs scrambled and the bacon cooking in the oven, before anyone came downstairs. I was halfway through buttering toast when Gwen swooped down and kissed my cheek.  
  
“Angela, you didn’t have to do this.”  
  
  
“I wanted to.” I told her. She smiled.  
  
“Do you need any help?” She asked. I shook my head.  
  
“Just sit down. It’s almost ready. I might need you to wake up Jace, though.” I told her. I really don’t want to go up the stairs again, so soon.  
  
I grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge and put it on the table. I started the coffee and set the table. I started pouring juice and ladling food onto the plates. I grabbed some apples and started cutting them up before Gwen and Jace were sitting at the table. I was getting the ‘you-know-you’re-supposed-to-be-taking-it-easy-and-not-doing-things-like-this-right-now-because-you’re-supposed-to-be-resting’ look. I put the bowl of apples on the table and sat down.  
  
“It looks good.” Jace grumbled. He’s such a girl, sometimes. He’ll be over it soon enough.  
  
“Thank you.” I smiled. We ate in a comfortable silence. My phone started buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out – it’s Eric. I frowned, but picked up. “Hello?”  
  
“Hey Angel, are you all up?” He asked me.  
  
“Yeah, we’re up – why?” I asked.  
  
“I have a meeting tomorrow morning with some very important people, so I need to head out, tonight. I wanted to say goodbye.” He told me.  
  
“Only if it’s quick.” I told him. “You weren’t the best guest last time.” I reminded him. He chuckled.  
  
“Alright. I’ll be gone for two weeks.” He told me.  
  
“Okay. I’ll see you when you get here.” I hung up. “He’s coming over to say goodbye.” I told them. Jace nodded.  
  
“At least he’s leaving.” He mused.  
  
“Yeah, but it’ll only be for two weeks.” I sighed. “I’ll take what I can get. It’s better than nothing.”

* * *

  
I let Gwen answer the door. Eric was respectful this time. He had his game face on. He turned on his charm that I know won’t work on her. He pretty much ruined his chances for that last time.  
  
“How are you feeling?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“The same as before, only with a cast.” I held up the arm with the fractured wrist. He frowned.  
  
“I’m sorry about that.”  
  
“If you say so.”  
  
“I mean it, Angel.”  
  
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Eric.” I told him. His eyes sparkled. They normally do when we argue. It’s almost like he thrives for it. But, I’m not going to be complacent, just because he scares me. I wouldn’t think much of myself if I did.  
  
“Do you want me to bring you anything back?” He asked.  
  
“I’m okay.” I told him. “I don’t want anything.” What he brought back last time was bad enough.  
  
“Alright, take care of yourself. Maybe… if I get to know the boy you’re so set on seeing, we can come to some kind of an agreement.” He finally said. Wait, what?  
  
“Somehow, that sounds worse than not being able to see him at all.” I told him. He smirked.  
  
“Perhaps, but I know that you’ll find some way to see him, anyway. At least this way, it’ll be on my standards.” He told me.  
  
“It won’t be for that much longer.” I reminded him. By the time he gets back, I’ll have just under than five months left of being under his care. I plan on seeing Jared at least one more time while he’s away.  
  
“We’ll see about that, won’t we? Maybe I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.” He told me, getting ready to leave.  
  
“Not likely.” I promised.  
  
“I’ll see you in two weeks.” He gave me a soft hug and looked at my lips. I know he wants to try and make a move, but he doesn’t want to do so in front of company. And, I’m not going anywhere with him where we can be alone.  
  
“Bye.” I pulled away from him and he left. I decided now would be as good of time as any to call Matt. It’s Saturday, so I don’t have to worry about calling him in class. “Hey, what are you doing?” I asked him.  
  
“Just woke up, what about you?” He asked. Things are a little weird, right now. It’s like we’ve both been tip-toeing around each other. Hopefully our conversation today will change that.  
  
“I just ate breakfast and saw Eric off.” I told him.  
  
“Oh,” he said.  
  
“Do you want to come over to Jace’s and we can talk?” I asked him. I’m going to have to change and cover up what I can. I don’t want to blast him full-force with my sob story about growing up in a broken home.  
  
“That might be best. I have plans with Brian tonight. He wanted to do something all together.” He told me.  
  
“Okay. I don’t think Gwen will mind having company over. I can’t guarantee I’ll be the life of the party, I’m on some heavy-duty meds.” I told him.  
  
“That’s fine. One of the other guys from the band might tag along. I’ve gotta shower, but I’ll head over after.” He told me, hanging up. I sighed. Well, this is going to be fun.  
  
Gwen helped me shower and keep my cast dry. She fixed my hair, so I didn’t look like some kind of rabid dog. I put on a pair on panties and a sports bra. I did my best to cover up some of the bruises on my arm and on my stomach. I covered up the bruise on my neck from when he was choking me. I covered a little bit of my black eye, but he’s already seen it, so there isn’t much point in me trying to hide that.  
  
I want to tell him the truth, but I don’t want to scare him away. I don’t know if there is a magical balance that I can find and just tell him the basics, or not. I’m going to play it by ear and see what happens.  
  
I put on some leggings and a long-sleeved sweater. Jace helped me downstairs. I sat on the patio and waited for him to get there. Gwen gave me a small dose of my pain meds. I need to be somewhat clear-headed while I talk to him, but all the moving around is getting to me. I stretched out on the hammock and took a little nap, while I waited.  
  
-.-  
  
“Angela, wake up.” Matt whispered. I opened my eyes and looked around me. My eyes landed on his face.  
  
“Sorry,” I apologized. I didn’t mean to sleep for that long.  
  
“It’s fine.” He told me. He pulled a wicker chair next to the hammock and sat so he could face me. “Are you going to tell me what happened to you?” He asked.  
  
“What do you think happened to me?” I asked, instead of answering him.  
  
“Honestly, the over-protectiveness, the hostility towards guys, it seems like… Eric isn’t as nice as he wants everyone else to believe.” Matt leveled with me. I nodded.  
  
“He’s not.” I agreed. “It’s not your fault, he’s just… He’s been like this since my mom died.” I told him. He frowned.  
  
“So, he is the one who did this to you?” He asked, pointing at my face. I looked away from him, but nodded.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Angela, that’s not right. He doesn’t have the right to put his hands on you.”  
  
“He’s my guardian. Okay? Jared waved his rights a long time ago. I’ve gotten through it this long. I’m almost an adult. I can leave when I’m eighteen. He’ll have no legal claim to me. I have my own money. My mom got a lot from Jared and she left it all to me. I can’t touch it until I’m eighteen. And, that’s not even counting the money that Eric’s given me, that I’ve saved, or the money that I’ve gotten from Jared. I’ve worked before, and I’ve never spent any of it. I’ll be able to take care of myself.” I told him.  
  
“That sounds good now, but what if he takes things too far?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“What’s too far?” I asked him. I feel like all I do is have this same conversation with anyone who finds out about this.  
  
“What if he does more than just hurt you next time? What if he kills you? Or decides to…” He broke off. I don’t want to tell him everything. I really don’t. And now, that crunch-time is here, I don’t think I can.  
  
“He won’t kill me. If I die, he can’t control me anymore.” I told him. I held onto the hammock and started to lower myself off of it. Matt grabbed my back to steady me. I cried out and softened his grip. Once I was down, he looked at me.  
  
“If we’re going to do this, you have to be honest with me.” He told me. “How bad is it?” He asked me. Tears started clouding my vision.  
  
“I’m not ready for you to know that, yet.” I told him. “I don’t want you to look at me differently.” I told him. I walked inside and got some water. Gwen came over to us.  
  
“Are you hurting?” She asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I can’t.” I told her.  
  
“Tell him what you can, baby. You can work up to the rest. And if you need help talking to him, I’m here. I’m always here for you.” She told me. She gave me a muscle relaxer and some other pain pill. I took them and sat in an armchair. Gwen pulled Matt to the side. “She’s trying to tell you what she can, but you’ve got to be patient with her.” She told him. He nodded. “She needs someone to be good to her. If you can’t do that, you need to decide now, because I don’t want her to get hurt.” She told him.  
  
“I would never hurt her.” He told her. “It’s just hard to see someone else going through what my mom went through.” He told her. “Can you tell me anything?” He asked.  
  
“Only if she asks me to. I’m going to give you two some privacy.” She told him. He sat on the couch next to me.  
  
“I’m ready to listen. I won’t push anything.”  
  
“I went to the doctor yesterday. I have three cracked ribs, a fractured wrist, and a lot of bruises.” I told him. He looks like I just kicked his dog. “I have welts on my back and legs and it hurts me to walk.” I told him.  
  
“When?” He asked.  
  
“The first day I didn’t go to school. He didn’t want to share me.” I told him.  
  
“Is he okay with you being friends with Atwood?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“He always has been, I’m not really sure why, though. He probably realizes we’re just friends.”  
  
“Has he done more than that?” He asked me.  
  
“Yes.” I was crying, now. I can feel it. My body is starting to feel numb. The meds are kicking in, fast.  
  
“He…” he couldn’t bring himself to say it.  
  
“He’s forced himself on me, before.” I told him, finally looking him in the eyes. He looks shattered. He’s not fleeing, that’s a good sign.  
  
“But you said… You said you were a virgin.” He whispered.  
  
“I told you that I’ve never made love, which is true. …Rape isn’t love.” I whispered. He was quiet for a long time, before he came over and held my hand.  
  
“I’m not going to think less of you because of something he did to you.” He told me.  
  
“Okay. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I told him. I feel exhausted, emotionally drained. He kissed me, gently.  
  
“You don’t have to.”


	22. Serious Conversations Part 1

Chapter Twenty Part I:

  
  
The afternoon went by without incident. Gwen spent most of it interrogating Matt. It turns out that Denise and Gwen went to high school back in the day. Gwen was a couple of years ahead of Ms. Sanders, but she knew of her.  
  
I put on as much cover-up as possible without looking like something out of a circus before everybody else got there. Matt and I hadn’t really talked much since the confession, but it was a comfortable silence. I think I underestimated. I’ve always had a problem with psyching myself out before something big happened.  
  
Brian called and asked what time would be good for them to head over. We told them seven would be good.

* * *

**Gwen’s POV**   
  


“Hello, is a Jared Morgan available, please?” I asked. I sat down on my bed and waited.  
  
“Yes, he is. May I ask who is calling?”  
  
“Gwen Atwood, a friend of his daughter’s.” I replied.  
  
“Please hold, he’ll be on in a moment.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“My pleasure.” She told me. Music played as I waited.  
  
“This is Jared Morgan.” He greeted.  
  
“Hello, this is Gwen Atwood, Jace’s mother.” I told him. He should remember him – he was just up there the other day.  
  
“Oh, how’s he doing? He’s seems like a great guy. Is he why you’re calling?”  
  
“Actually, it’s about Angela.” I told him.  
  
“I see – is she in trouble?” He asked, sounding worried.  
  
“This would really be better suited in person, but I couldn’t wait. I know that you don’t have parental rights as far as she is concerned, but I think you’ve got the best chance of winning custody if things didn’t work with Eric.”  
  
“What is this about Gwen?” He asked me.  
  
“Has Angela ever mentioned how things were like with her home life?” I asked him.  
  
“She’s brought it up while her mother was alive, but back then I was too wrapped up in myself to care. She had a drinking problem… But since then, I hadn’t heard anything.” He answered.  
  
“Well, things were better for her while that was her only problem.”  
  
“Is this about Eric?” He asked.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“What… What does he do to her?”  
  
“Mr. Morgan, this is something I don’t feel comfortable talking about through a phone call.” She told him.  
  
“Are you available to meet tomorrow?” He asked.  
  
“Yes, should I come to you?” I asked him.  
  
“No, I’ll come to you. How is lunch around 11:30?” He asked.  
  
“Perfect. I’m sorry to have involved you, but I love that little girl, and I can’t stand not being able to help her.” I told him.  
  
“No, thank you for this. I’ll see you tomorrow. My secretary will get your cell number. I’ll text you with the restaurant details.” He told me before hanging up.  
  
I hope this works out for the best.


	23. Serious Conversations Part 2

Chapter Twenty Part II:

  
  
“Dude, why didn’t you tell me that your lady-friend had a music hook-up?” Zach hit Matt in the arm. Matt just shook his head.  
  
“Dude, ‘lady-friend’? What are you fifty?” Matt asked him. Zach shook his head and made a face. “I don’t know, man. She hasn’t even heard us play. And it’s not like we’ve been together that long.”  
  
“True… But, seriously, you need to hear us. We are kick ass.” He enunciated. I chuckled.  
  
“And so modest, too.” I teased.  
  
“If you’re not busy on Wednesday, you should come to band practice. We’ve been meaning to record our stuff. That’ll give us a reason to burn a demo. Maybe you could pass it along.” He gave me the puppy dog eyes. I nodded.  
  
“Sure thing.” I told him.  
  
“She’s a keeper.”

* * *

  
  
I woke up not dreading the next day for once in a very long time. I watched Jace sleep for a minute, before getting my pain meds.  
  
I know it’s too soon to get my hopes up, but something tells me that this is going to work out with Matt. It might just be me being hopeful, but I’m just gonna go with it. I really like him.  
  
_Good morning, handsome._  
_-Angela_  
  
Texting him couldn’t hurt – right? If he’s sleeping, he’ll just text me later.  
  
_Hey, beautiful, I was just thinking about you. I can’t sleep. How are you always up so early?_  
_-Handsome Matt_  
  
I smiled at my phone.  
  
_I’ve been a morning person since I was a kid. I can’t help it. What are you up to?_  
_-Angela (apparently the beautiful one)_  
  
_I am about to take a shower. I’ve given up on sleeping. Care to join me? ;)_  
_-M_  
  
_As tempting as a shirtless you sounds… I’m gonna pass on that. I actually like showering solo. The cast makes it a pain and a half, though. Especially, if I’ve just taken my meds... I’m so not all there. So, if my texts start to sound weird, sorry._  
_-Angela_  
  
_Alright – touché. Well, then I guess I’ll be showering all by my lonesome. And no worries. It’s cute._  
_-Shirtless Matt_  
  
_Go shower. You’re starting to stink up my phone. ;) :P_  
_-Fully Clothed Angela_

* * *

**Gwen’s POV**

  
  
What do you wear when you go to tell someone that someone is hurting their daughter? I sighed and settled for normal, casual clothes. I ran my fingers through my hair before heading out the door. I told Jace that I was having lunch with a friend, which isn’t too much of a stretch. Angela was sleeping.  
  
I just can’t stand the thought of Eric being able to control her. I’ve had my suspicions for a long time, but I’ve never been able to confirm anything, not until now. He’s a bully. I’ve dealt with bullies before. She shouldn’t have to.  


* * *

  
  
I walked into the Italian place and immediately saw Jared. I recognize him from Angela’s photos. I gave him a small wave. He smiled and stood up to greet me.  
  
“You must be Gwen.” He pulled me into a brief hug. He’s definitely good with the ladies.  
  
“I am.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“I got us a table in a private room. It’ll be easier to talk without being overheard that way.” He led me to a backroom, set up with a table and a bounty of food, already. I guess you can do anything if you have enough money.  
  
“You didn’t have to go through all of this trouble.”I told him. He pulled out my chair and offered me a seat. I sat down.  
  
“I have a lot to make up for by my daughter. If this will help, I’m happy to do it.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“I-I need to know that you’ll be smart about what I tell you. Eric is a very influential man and Angela has been through enough.”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“You’re going to want to kill him, Jared.” I told him.  
  
“Does he hurt her? Does he hurt my girl?” He asked me. He looks so hurt. I nodded. “How long has it been going on?” He asked.  
  
“Honestly? I can’t know for sure. She told me it started soon after her mother passed. I just recently found out. I wasn’t sure if telling you would do any good, but I figured it couldn’t do any harm.”  
  
“Is that all that he does?” He asked, looking me dead in the eyes.  
  
“No.” I clamped my mouth closed. He nodded and closed his eyes. He didn’t say anything else.  
  
“What did you have in mind, here?” He asked.  
  
“I don’t know. Jace told me that they started taking pictures of the damages he’s inflicted on her. They’re date-stamped, so if there is ever a need of evidence, there’s something. She’s trying to ride it out until she’s eighteen.” I told him.  
  
“That makes sense, now. She asked me if she could stay with me a while before she started college.”  
  
“She thinks she has it all planned out, but if something happens like the episode the other day, I don’t know if she’ll survive it. If something else happens, we need a plan to get her out and keep her out of his reach. Can you work on getting custody papers or a restraining order or anything quietly? Just in case she needs them. I love her like my own blood. She’s the best thing to ever happen to my son. They’ve been joined at the hip for years. Neither one of us like seeing her hurt…” I leveled with him.  
  
“I’ll speak with my attorney and see what I can draw up. I’ll keep you informed with all of this. Can I see her?” He asked. I hesitated.  
  
“Let me ask her, alright. She doesn’t know I’ve been talking to you. I just don’t want to surprise her.”  
  
“I understand. How bad is it?” He asked. I sighed and pulled out my phone. I took a few shots of her face and of her in just undergarments. I gave him the phone. “That bastard is a dead man. As soon as my baby is safe, I’ll find a way to make that happen.” He growled. He closed my phone and handed it back. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.” He assured me.  
  
The rest of the meal was small talk and strategizing. I don’t know if we made any real progress today, but I found an ally. And right now, we need as many as we can get.

* * *

**Angela’s POV**

  
  
My phone tore me from a nightmare. It felt so real. Jace handed me my phone. My mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton and then emptied.  
  
“Hello?” I rasped.  
  
“Angela, baby, are you feeling up to a visitor?”  
  
“Who? Who… is it?” I asked her. I feel like I’m in a daze. God, if this is what drugs feel like I’m never doing them. I feel like I’m tripping out of my mind. It’s so hard to focus.  
  
“Your father,” she replied. I gasped.  
  
“Eric? E-Eric is supposed to be gone. He c-can’t be here.” I stuttered. I dropped the phone and grabbed my chest. I can’t breathe. Why is he coming here? I don’t want him here! He’s going to kill me. Oh, my God. I fell to the floor, sobbing. I can’t breathe. Why can’t I breathe?  
  
I heard Jace pick up my phone.  
  
“Mom, I think she’s having an anxiety attack. How do I stop it?” He asked. He was quiet for a second. “No, I don’t know. She took her prescribed meds. She was hurting really bad, so she took the ones that make her drowsy.” There was a pause. “Yes, I know almost all of them make her tired. I don’t know! You know she’s not all there right now. How do I get it to stop?” He was quiet, again. “Okay, just hang on.” He told her.  
  
He put the phone down and came over to me. He put his hands on my shoulders and forced me to look at him. I can barely see his face through the tears. He looks so blurry.  
  
“Gel, it’s not Eric. You have to breathe. Just breathe with me, babe. You can do it. Slow, deep breaths. If you keep this up you’re going to pass out. You have to breathe.” He told me. I nodded, trying to process what he just told me.  
  
“O-o-okay.” I choked out. I forced myself to breathe. There’s a pain in my chest. I forced myself to focus on Jace and do what he told me. Slowly, I could feel it working.  
  
“That’s my girl.” He hugged me.  
  
“I’m sorry.” I told him. I feel so disoriented.  
  
“Don’t be. It’s Jared. Can Jared come over?” He asked me. I looked down at myself and didn’t say anything. “You can trust him, Gelly Bean.” He whispered.  
  
“I trust _you_. If you think it’s okay, then he can. I’m gonna lay down.” I told him, my eyes already getting heavy.


	24. Coming Clean

Chapter Twenty-One:

  
  
“Angela, wake up – there’s someone here to see you.” Gwen whispered. I forced myself to open my eyes. I’m so tired. I can’t focus on her face. I looked around the room and closed my eyes again.  
  
“So tired,” I mumbled.  
  
“I know, baby, but Jared is here to see you.” She told me, rubbing my cheek with her hand. “Is that okay?” She asked.  
  
“Okay.” I told her, my eyes still closed.

* * *

**Gwen’s POV**

  
  
“How is she?” Jared asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“She said she’s tired. She’s on some heavy-duty painkillers. She’s not all there right now, but you can see her. She’s okay with it.” I told him.  
  
“Is she… How bad does she look?” He asked me.  
  
“She’s okay, that’s what matters. I’m sure she appreciates you wanting to be here for her.” I squeezed his shoulder.  
  
“I hope so. Thanks, for everything.” He disappeared into the guest room.

* * *

**Angela’s POV**

  
  
“Angela,” someone called. I jolted awake. My eyes sped across the room. My vision landed on Jared. I pulled my blankets higher, covering my sweater.  
  
“Jared? What are you doing here?” I asked him, trying to sit up. He came to my side and helped pull me up. I pulled away from him as soon as I was situated.  
  
“Didn’t Gwen tell you I was coming?” He asked. I frowned and thought back.  
  
“She did. I must have forgotten.” I told him.  
  
“How long has that man been hurting you?” He asked me. I shook my head.  
  
“Don’t do this. There’s nothing you can do. Nothing I tell you is going to make you feel any better about anything. You can’t help me. If he finds out that you know, it’ll just make things worse for everyone. I don’t know why nobody understands that.” I ran my hands through my hair, trying to calm myself down.  
  
“I’m not arguing with you, baby girl. If he goes too far, you need a back-up plan. Just answer me. Why didn’t you tell me he was hurting you?!” He asked – he’s shaking.  
  
“Right after mom died. I don’t know what you’re expecting to hear from me! You didn’t want anything to do with me then. You made that perfectly clear. You gave me money and told me that you couldn’t be a part of my life. Why would tell you? I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I was only thirteen! What do you want from me?!” I screamed at him, tears blazing down my face.  
  
“You’re right. It’s not fair for me to come in here and expect you to tell me everything. I haven’t earned that, yet. Just… answer what you’re okay with me knowing. I’m not going to tell him that you told me anything. I’ve been speaking with Ms. Atwood and we have a plan. You’ll know more when you need to. The less you know the better.” He told me. I didn’t say anything.  
  
We stayed that way for a long time. He made small talk until I was ready to discuss more. I told me as little as I could get away with. I told him how it started and how it wasn’t always bad. I told him about Matt and how he was the trigger for the latest attack. He didn’t ask many questions, just let me talk. He listened more than anything.  
  
It’s insane how natural it felt. Things have always been comfortable around him. It’s something that I haven’t felt with many people. If he wasn’t my father, I probably wouldn’t understand it.  
  
After everything was said, I was hurting and ready to sleep. He excused himself and left to talk to Gwen. I took my medicine and stared at my phone. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, but I’m really dreading school tomorrow.  
  
I turned on my alarm for the morning and set it on the nightstand. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. I can hope for the best until my face turns blue, but at some people you just have to embrace the suck.


	25. A Case of the Mondays Part 1

Chapter Twenty-Two Part I:

  
  
_It’s taken a lifetime to lose my way –_  
_A lifetime of yesterdays._  
_All the wasted time on my hands,_  
_Turn to sand and fades in the wind._  
  
I opened my eyes and fumbled around to find my phone. I knocked it on the floor. I sighed.  
  
_Crossing lines,_  
_Small crimes…_  
_Taking back what is mine._  
  
I slid off the bed and picked it up. If I turn it off there’s a 99.9% chance that I’ll fall back asleep. I’m tired of staying in the house all day. I want to go to school. I need to go to school.  
  
_I’m fine in the fire._  
_I feed on the friction._  
_I’m right where I should be –_  
_Don’t try and fix me._  
  
Jace walked into the room, clad only in pajama pants. He was wincing because of the noise.  
  
“Gel, turn it off.” He whined. I flipped it off.  
  
“I need help showering.” I told him. He nodded. He helped me up and walked me back to his room. He helped me pull of my clothes and wrap my cast. I got into the shower.  
  
“Do you need help?” He asked from outside the shower.  
  
“I’m really hurting today. It hurts to raise my hands.” I told him.  
  
“Alright give me a minute.”  
  
“Okay.” I got my lady-parts clean and my legs and feet scrubbed. I washed my stomach. I washed my face and neck, and then waited for Jace. We’ve got the routine down on the bad days. Whenever it rains, it hurts even worse. I must’ve slept funny, because my ribs are killing me.  
  
Jace hopped into the shower and took my loofah from me. He started washing my back and shoulders. He didn’t say anything just cleaned. He doesn’t make any jokes about my body or our lack of clothes and he keeps his eyes above anything he shouldn’t see. I afford him the same courtesy.  
  
The worst thing Eric could ever do to me is hurt Jace. I don’t know what I would do without him. He’s my rock. He’s always there for me when I need him. He’s my bro.  
  
“It would probably be a good idea for you to bring your medication to school, Gel.” He told me. I nodded as he washed my hair.  
  
“I’m going to wear the sling Dr. Sullivan gave me, too. I don’t want to knock my arm on everything in the hallway.” I told him.  
  
“That’s probably a good idea. Close your eyes. I need to rinse your hair.” He told me. I obliged. “What time is your appointment after school?” He asked me.  
  
“It’s at four.” I told him.  
  
“That gives us enough time to grab a quick bite before heading to the hospital.”  
  
“We can wait for your mom.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“You have to have at least a little something in your stomach for your medicine.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah.”I grumbled. He conditioned my hair. We stood their quietly for a few minutes. He got out and grabbed a towel for me.  
  
I covered up and grabbed another towel to dry myself off with. I moisturized while he showered. He took less time than I expected, that, or I lost track of time… which is something that’s been happening all the time, lately. It’s so easy to lose myself in my head.  
  
I put on undergarments and shimmied my way into a pair of burnt orange jeggings. Jace helped me put on a magenta undershirt and a loose, off-white sweater. I slipped on some flats and gathered my school stuff together. I put my clutch into my school bag and jimmied the sling on.  
  
“Shit, I’m already tired.” I told him. He chuckled. “It’s gonna be a long day.”  
  


* * *

  
  
“Am I meeting you for lunch?” Jace asked me, walking me to class. I shook my head.  
  
“Matt wanted to eat together. We need to talk.” I told him. He made a face. “His words, not mine.” I told him.  
  
“He’s a good guy. It’ll go okay. You know I’m here, if you need me.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“I know, _Mom_. I’ll be okay in class. I’m still ahead in all of my course work, so I won’t need to carry any books. I have my pain pills if I need them. Now, go. You don’t wanna be late for government class.” I swatted his butt. He stuck out his tongue at me.  
  
“I’ll remember that Summers.” He walked away. I sighed and walked into the classroom. I took my seat and tried to ignore the stares from my fellow classmates.  
  
“Welcome back Miss Summers. I hope you’re feeling alright.” Mr. Davis smiled at me.  
  
“I am – thank you. I hope I haven’t missed too much history.” I joked. He handed me some graded papers of mine. I’ve aced all of them.  
  
“Good work.”  
  
“Thank you. Do you have any extra credit projects available?” I asked him.  
  
“Let me see what I can do. I’ll let you know tomorrow.” He assured me.  
  
“Thank you.” I don’t want there to be any chance that I can’t get into university or a scholarship for it. I want to cover all of my bases.  
  
Class didn’t drag as much as I expected it to. Mr. Davis in an engaging teacher, something this school doesn’t have a lot of. Class was over almost as quickly as it began. I grabbed my bag and headed to my next class, much slower than my normal pace.  
  
“Angela! Wait up.” Someone called from behind me. I turned around and saw Brian. “Hey girl, what’s shakin’?” He grinned.  
  
“Not much, just school. How ‘bout you?” I asked him. He shrugged.  
  
“The same. Are you sure you’re up to being back? You still look kind of… rough.” He gestured to my arm.  
  
“I’m okay, just need to remember not to be so clumsy. You know.” I joked. He nodded. “Well, I better go. I’ll see ya.”  
  
I got to class and the rest of the morning blurred by. Halfway through Calculus I wanted to cry because the pain was so intense. I took my pain pills and waited for them to kick in. The bell startled me. I feel funny. I set off to the cafeteria. I found Matt without too much difficulty.  
  
“Hey beautiful,” he smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I smiled.  
  
“Hey,” I sang. “I just took my medicine. My ribs are killing me today.” I told him.  
  
“Okay. Let’s get you some food.” He took my hand and we went through the lunch-line. I didn’t really pay attention to what I put on my lunch tray, but something was better than nothing at all. I grabbed a bottle of water and pushed my tray down the line and paid. Matt carried both trays back to our table.  
  
We didn’t say a ton. I focused on eating my food and not painting my face with it. He just watched me while he ate.  
  
“Do I have something on my face?” I asked him. He shook his head, smiling.  
  
“You’re just adorable when you concentrate that hard on something.” He flirted. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Shut up.” I stuck my tongue out at him.  
  
“So, I was wondering if you’d feel up to going on a date with me.”  
  
“A diner date?” I asked, smiling.  
  
“A real date.” He countered.  
  
“When did you have in mind?” I asked him.  
  
“How about tomorrow?”  
  
“Sounds perfect. I’m going to the doctor again today. Hopefully he’ll have good news or give me some meds that don’t make me completely loopy.”  
  
“Fractures take forever to heal.” He told me. I sighed.  
  
“I know. It’s not my first and I doubt it’ll be my last.”


	26. A Case of the Mondays Part 2

Chapter Twenty-Two Part II:

  
  
I all but dragged myself into the doctor’s office. I’m. So. Fucking. Tired. I feel old as hell. I lost all momentum after we made it upstairs. I plopped down into a waiting chair.  
  
“I’m so tired.” I told Jace. He just laughed at me. “It’s not funny. I need a nap.” I told him, but that just made him laugh even harder. His body doubled over with laughter. I shook my head. “Dick.”  
  
“Last time I checked.” He shot back. I made a face at him. “Don’t hate.”  
  
“You started it.”  
  
“So, how serious are things between you and Matt?” He asked, suddenly becoming serious. I didn’t say anything for a minute. He caught me by surprise.  
  
“Where did that come from?” I countered.  
  
“You didn’t answer my question.”  
  
“Why do you want to know?”  
  
“If you’re not serious or planning on being serious than he’s just a waste of time.” Jace told me. I bit my lip. “If he isn’t serious about you, then he’s not good for you. You can find someone who is.”  
  
“Someone like you?” I asked.  
  
“Would that really be so bad? You know I love you, Gel.”  
  
“Don’t go there, please.”  
  
“Why are you so scared?” He asked me.  
  
“Because I don’t want anything to happen to you or to us. I don’t want our friendship to change. It’s the only constant thing I’ve had in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without it. I can’t afford to go there. I don’t want to be alone.” I told him.  
  
“You’ll never be alone.”  
  
“And what happens when things don’t work out between us? You’re going to be okay just being friends?”  
  
“I-I don’t know.”  
  
“You can’t promise me something impossible. Why can’t you just accept that this is what I want? I need to keep things the way they are between us, Jay.” I told him.  
  
“Because I’ll always want more with you. Why do you think I only hook up? I never settle with anyone. I haven’t since before I met you. I knew what I wanted as soon as we were friends.”  
  
“You said you were okay just keeping things normal.” I told him. My nose is burning and my eyes are starting to fill up. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.  
  
“I know what I said, but I can’t change how I feel.”  
  
“Neither can I… and I care about Matt. I really do. I think we could turn into something good if I give it a chance. If we even have a chance. Eric is a wild card. I don’t know what he’ll do if he catches us together after he forbade me from dating him.”  
  
“You can’t let him dictate every minute of your life.”  
  
“Yeah, you don’t think I know that? I’m doing what I can.”  
  
“You’re choosing Matt, not me.” Jace turned away and wouldn’t look at me.  
  
“That’s not what I’m saying. This is my fault for leaning on you so much. Look, I can handle this appointment on my own. I’ll be okay staying at my place. I don’t need to stay at yours. I can take my pills. I’m a big girl. And I can find a ride to and from school.” I told him. He whipped his head around.  
  
“Why are you so fucking difficult?” He growled.  
  
“Why are you acting like a child?”  
  
“You’re so frustrating!”  
  
“Right back atcha.” I told him. Dr. Sullivan came out of his office and looked at me, then Jace. He didn’t say anything.  
  
“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.” He told me with a small smile. I nodded.  
  
“I’ll just be a minute.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Very well. Take your time.”  
  
“Thank you.” I told him. He went back into his office and closed the door. “Look, I don’t have time to do this right now. You need to make a decision. I’m not waiting around for it. If you want to be a part of my life, I need a friend. If you can’t do that, let me know.” I told him.  
  
“I’m not just going to turn my back on you.” He told me. I shook my head.  
  
“Which is it?” I pressed.  
  
“If friendship is all that’s on the table, I’ll have to take it.” He told me.  
  
“Okay. Then you need to be okay with me seeing Matt.”  
  
“I’ll work on it.” He told me.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“But, I’m not giving up on you.” He told me. He offered me his hand. I ignored it and pushed myself up without help.  
  


* * *

  
  
The appointment wasn’t very long. Dr. Sullivan didn’t have much to say. He told me not to push my limits. I told him that I went back to school today. He just told me to take it easy. I got a doctor’s note excusing me if I felt rundown.  
  
He gave me another prescription for the pain. This one shouldn’t make me as drowsy as the others, so I don’t fall asleep in class.  
  
“Angela, what a surprise.” Denise beamed at me. I smiled back.  
  
“It’s nice to see you.” I gave her a one-armed hug. “I thought you were working nights.”  
  
“Normally, but we’ve been short-handed this week. Everyone took off for vacation at the same time.” She explained. “Are you okay? Matt said you got hurt.” She eyed my arm and my face. I nodded.  
  
“I fell down some stairs at Jace’s.” I told her. “I shouldn’t be allowed to do anything gravity-defying.” I joked. She laughed.  
  
“Are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked me.  
  
“I’m really excited.” I beamed.  
  
“So is Matt, but don’t tell him I told you. I don’t want to seem uncool.”  
  
“Your secret’s safe with me.”

* * *

  
  
“Are you going to give the silent treatment all night?” Jace asked him the car. I shrugged.  
  
“I don’t know what to say to you.” I told him. “I think I’m going to do some things on my own from now on.” I told him.  
  
“Like what?” He asked.  
  
“Trying to shower, sleeping, getting dressed…”  
  
“You’re overreacting.” He told me.  
  
“I don’t think I am. Gwen offered to help me if I needed it. If I need help, I’ll just ask her. I don’t want to put you back in that situation.” I told him. His jaw clenched. “What happens when I say something you don’t like or push you away when you want more and you have me at a disadvantage?”  
  
“I’m not your stepfather.” His words sliced right through me.  
  
“You’re being possessive.” I shot back. He shut up. “I didn’t say you were, but I’m not comfortable with that anymore.”  
  
“Fine.”


	27. Fighting and Star Gazing

Chapter Twenty-Three:

  
  
I opened my eyes ten minutes before my alarm went off. Even with the drowsy meds, I slept for shit last night. I hate fighting with Jace. I can honestly say we really haven’t fought before. I mean, sure, we’ve had playful spats – who hasn’t? But this, this is something completely different.  
  
I’m delusional if I think that his feelings are going to change overnight. I really wanted to believe that he was satisfied just being friends. Why do these things happen at the worst time?  
  
It’s time like these that makes me wish that I had girl friends. Most of my friends are of the male persuasion. It’s just less drama that way. I hate drama. The female friends I have are Gwen and Denise and they’re not exactly my age.  
  
I have no one to talk to about my problems with Jace. It’s weird.  
  
I pushed my blankets off and eased myself out of bed. I walked over to my bathroom and took off my pajamas. I managed to get a bag over my cast and turned on the hot water. I got in and washed as quickly as I could. The shower was over before I knew it.  
  
By the time I was dried off and dressed I was hurting. It doesn’t help that I tripped on air after putting on my socks. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my meds and bag for school. I feel so crappy today. I put on some foundation and left my face otherwise bare.  
  
I sat on the porch and waited for Matt to pick me up. Gwen insisted that I stay with her instead of an empty house. So, I did. But I really haven’t talked to Jace. I know it’s childish but I honestly don’t know what to say to him.  
  
Gwen knows we’re fighting, but not what about. I raked my fingers through my hair and heard the front door open. I looked over and saw Gwen bringing me a cup of coffee.  
  
“If you’re not going to eat anything, you need to have something in your stomach, baby girl.” She told me, handing me the coffee. She kissed my forehead. “What did my boy do?” She asked.  
  
“How do you know it’s not something I did?” I asked her. She chuckled.  
  
“A mother knows.”  
  
“He wants something I can’t give him.” I told her, taking a sip of the coffee. She frowned.  
  
“I had a feeling that’s what this was about.” She rubbed my back. “He’s cared about you for a long time, Angela.” She told me.  
  
“I know. And it’s not that I don’t love him, it’s just a different kind of love.” I told her. She nodded.  
  
“Give him time – he’ll come around.” She told me.  
  
“I know. It’s just hard. He’s like my other half.” I told her.  
  
“I know, baby.” She leaned in and hugged me. Matt pulled up. I got up and turned to give Gwen another hug. I saw Jace standing in the doorway. How long has he been there? He gave me a small wave. I nodded and headed out. I got into the passenger’s side of Matt’s ’67 Firebird.  
  
“Hey beautiful,” he greeted. He leaned in and kissed my mouth, softly. I smiled.  
  
“Hello handsome,” I answered, looking him over. He looks nice. Dark-washed, vintage jeans and a tight-fitting black shirt. Mm.  
  
“You look tired.” He told me, holding my hand. I shrugged.  
  
“I’m always tired, lately. It was just a rough night.” I told him.  
  
“Is that why you wanted me to pick you up?”  
  
“Yeah, Jace and I aren’t seeing eye to eye right now and I can’t drive on my medication.” I told him.  
  
“Anything serious?”  
  
“Nothing I wanna talk about. It’ll sort itself out.”  
  
“Well, I don’t mind driving you.” He told me, backing out of the driveway.  
  
“It’s nice seeing you in the morning.” I agreed. We fell into a comfortable silence. He turned up the music.  
  
_Never feared for anything, never shamed but never free._  
_A light that healed a broken heart with all that it could._  
_Lived a life so endlessly, saw beyond what others see…_  
_I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could._  
_Will you stay? Will you stay away forever?_  
  
I let gravity of the lyrics to sink in. They break my heart in a way that only music could. I’ve never heard anyone that sounds like this.  
  
“Who is this?” I asked Matt. He smiled and didn’t answer me.  
  
_How do I live a life without the ones I love?_  
_Time still turns the pages of the book it’s burned._  
_Place and time always on my mind,_  
_I have so much to say, but you’re so far away._  
  
“This is my band, Avenged Sevenfold.” He told me.  
  
“I remember you telling me that you were good, but you never told me you were this good.” I raved. “This is, wow.”  
  
“I’m glad you like it.”  
  
“Like it? Music like this… Music helps people get through the pain. When you have no other release, there’s music to get you through. That’s what this sounds like.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“You’re so sexy when you talk music.” He teased. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Hush your face.”

* * *

  
  
School breezed by. I tried to forget about the fight with Jace and focus on the date with Matt. I feel giddy. Matt took me to Jace’s so I could change and get ready. Gwen decided to make small talk with Matt.  
  
“Can we talk?” Jace asked me. I nodded. I had just shimmied into my violet skinny jeans. I turned away from him and put on a black camisole. I pulled on a charcoal, half-sleeved, button-down shirt. I finished off with a skinny, black tie.  
  
“What’s up?” I asked him.  
  
“I’m sorry for expecting you to change your mind when I knew how you felt. I don’t want to fight with you, Gel. I don’t want things to be weird between us.” He hugged me, softly.  
  
“It’s water under the bridge.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“As long as you’re being sincere.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Do you need anything else?” He asked me, gesturing to my clothes. I pointed short-sleeved, black blazer.  
  
“I feel so covered.” I complained. He chuckled.  
  
“You normally are.” He mused.  
  
“I know, but tonight is special. I just… This cast is awkward with everything. And my legs are bruised to hell.” I sighed.  
  
“You look great.” He assured me. I snorted and sat down and started putting on eyeliner. I put on a bit of shadow and a little lip color before throwing in the towel. “Be careful tonight.”  
  
“I will.” I told him. I walked down the stairs, slowly, very slowly. I made it down and saw Matt staring at me. He’s smiling; at least that’s a good sign.  
  
“You look great.” He told me. I beamed.  
  
“Thank you. Wanna head out?”

* * *

  
  
We ended up at some Italian place. He opened the doors for me and pulled out my chair. This is perfect.  
  
“I’m glad you were able to come out tonight.” He held my hand.  
  
“I wouldn’t miss it.”  
  
“Are you really okay? I mean, with everything?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“I’m trying to be, sometimes that’s all I can do.” I told him. He nodded. “Actually, I was wondering if I could get a copy of your demo. I can pass it along to Jared, my dad. I mean, if you’re okay with it. I promised Zack I would.”  
  
“That’d be awesome. I can definitely get you a copy.” He beamed. “We’ve got a few more songs recorded. I can put them on a CD for you and get to you tomorrow.”  
  
“Awesome. He’s coming down to have dinner in a couple of days.” I told him.

* * *

  
  
We finished dinner and sat and talked for a little while. We held hands. It was nice to be able to enjoy his company. He always makes me so nervous.  
  
“You wanna get out of here?” Matt asked. I nodded. He helped me up. We walked to the car. So far, so good. I haven’t had to take any medicine since we’ve been out.  
  
“Where are we headed?” I asked him. He smiled.  
  
“It’s a surprise.”  
  
“Okay.”  
  
The drive was quiet, but nice. We drove to a clearing just out a town and he pulled the car over. We got out the car and spread a blanket out on the ground. We laid down and watched the stars. I used him as a pillow.  
  
“This is perfect.” I whispered.  
  
“You’re perfect.” He told me. I giggled.  
  
“I’m happy you think so.” I told him. He cupped my face and brought his mouth to mine. I melted in the kiss. Boy knows how to kiss. He kept moving his mouth against mine. I gasped against his lips. He slid his tongue along my bottom lip. I shuddered against him. Everything is so new with him. I don’t feel pressured or threatened. I love it.  
  
I opened my mouth just enough to let him slip his tongue inside. I followed his lead. It’s pure instinct and feeling. I moved my tongue against his.  
  
We stayed like this for what seems like forever. He moved his hand under my shirt and onto the small of my back. I froze. He pulled away and looked at me.  
  
“Is this too fast?” He asked me. I shook my head.  
  
“No, it’s okay.” I told him.  
  
“I don’t wanna rush anything with you.”  
  
“I want this.” I whispered. He nodded. “I want this with you.” I told him. This time, I kissed him. He moved his mouth to my jaw and planted soft kisses along my jaw-line to my neck. I moaned against him. He makes me feel so… alive. I’m not used to feeling this way.  
  
I moved my hands under his shirt and traced his abs. He moved his lips from my neck to my ear. I couldn’t stop the noises he was causing to slip out of my mouth.  
  
“I love your sounds.” He whispered. I shivered and kissed him, missing the feeling of him against me. My phone vibrated in my pocket. I ignored it and kept kissing him. The vibrations didn’t stop. He pulled away and felt on my leg. I’m guessing he could feel them too. “Check it – it could be important.” He told me.  
  
I nodded and fished my phone out of my pocket. I checked out my notifications. I have ten new text messages. I opened my inbox. They’re all from Eric. I untangled myself from Matt and got up.  
  
“I’ll be right back.” I told him. He didn’t question it. I opened the messages. They’re all pictures. The first one is of him holding a picture of me. The next is a picture of his hard on in his pants. They get progressively worse. He’s touching himself. I don’t want to see this. He’s with a woman who looks like me; she’s naked. She’s giving him head. He’s holding her head as close as he can get it. There is a picture of his face while he’s finishing. The rest aren’t any better.  
  
I can’t get the pictures out of my mind. They’ve killed my natural high from Matt. I jumped when my phone started going off.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Hello Angel, did you like my pictures?” Eric asked.  
  
“You know I didn’t. Why did you send them?” I asked him.  
  
“I don’t want you thinking about any other man besides me. They’re just to remind you.”  
  
“I don’t need a reminder from you.”  
  
“I miss you, Angel.”  
  
“I can see that.”  
  
“I’ll be home before you know it.”  
  
“Don’t hurry back.” I shot.  
  
“Are you still seeing that boy? Do you need another lesson?”  
  
“Does it matter? You can’t have me, Eric. I’m not yours. I’m not property. You only have a few months left, anyway.”  
  
“That’s where you’re wrong, Angel. You are mine. If you play nice, I might let you keep your new toy.” He sang. It gave me goosebumps.  
  
“It’s not your decision.”  
  
“Everything that involves you is my decision.”  
  
“Eric, I gotta go. Don’t call me again later.” I hung up. I’m shaking. God, why does he always affect me this way?  
  
“Is everything okay?” Matt asked me. He put his arms around me. I know he can feel me shaking. “Shh, Angela, it’s okay. Who was it?” He asked.  
  
“Eric,” I whispered.  
  
“He can’t hurt you.” He told me.  
  
“Not yet.”  
  
“I’m sorry for ruining tonight.” I apologized.  
  
“You didn’t ruin anything. We can try again tomorrow, something less maintenance. Eat at my house. My sister will be there.” He suggested.  
  
“Okay. Can you take me home?” I asked him. He nodded. I want to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"So Far Away" - Avenged Sevenfold


	28. Little Sisters, Cookies and Band Practice

Chapter Twenty-Four:

  
  
I forgot my non-drowsy meds at Jace’s house. I made it through half of the school day before I just could not keep my eyes open anymore. I gave up and took a nap in the nurse’s office. I hate missing class, but my body needs to heal. I slept through lunch and can’t seem to wake myself up.”

* * *

  
  
“Angela, wake up.” Matt whispered. I jolted and blinked, trying to clear the sleep away.  
  
“Did I really sleep through the rest of the day?” I asked, frowning. He nodded.  
  
“I’m sure your teachers understand. It’s not like you’re in any danger of falling behind.”  
  
“I know, but still.”  
  
“You ready to go?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Let’s go. I’m starving.” I told him. He helped me up.  
  
“Janice is excited to meet you.” I told me. I smiled.  
  
“I’m excited to meet her, too, but I’m nervous.”  
  
“Don’t be. How scary can an eleven-year-old be?”  
  
“It sounds stupid when you say it like that, but I’ve never had siblings. It’s completely new territory.” I grumbled. He just laughed.  
  
“You’ll do great.”  
  
“I’ll stop psyching myself out.”

* * *

  
  
“I’m so glad you could make it for dinner.” Denise hugged me. I smiled.  
  
“Thanks for inviting me.”  
  
“You’re welcome anytime. Janice should be home soon. She’s studying with a friend.”  
  
“No worries. Do you mind if I get a drink of water? My meds are starting to wear off.” I told her.  
  
“Not at all, help yourself.”  
  
“Matt show her where the cups are.” She told him, excusing herself. He got me a cup and I filled it up with water.  
  
“Are you okay?” He asked me.  
  
“I’m really nervous.”  
  
“Don’t be; mom loves you.”  
  
“I know, but I’m not that girl that gets taken home to meet the parents. I’m… the girl that you don’t. If she knew about my stepdad, she wouldn’t want me here.” I told him.  
  
“You know that’s not true.”  
  
“Or that it is.”  
  
“I care about you, regardless.”  
  
“I’m amazed that you do.”  
  
“Just trust me on this. Do you want to come to my band practice tomorrow?”  
  
“I’d love to.”  
  
“Awesome.”

* * *

  
  
“So how was your day?” I asked Janice. She just stared at me for a second and shrugged.  
  
“It was typical, boring. I was surrounded by horny morons, but that’s life. How was your day?” She asked me. I chuckled.  
  
“It was kind of the same, but I spent half of it napping.” I told her. She smiled.  
  
“Rad, I wanna nap through school.” She ate a mouthful of food.  
  
“Just get really clumsy, fracture a few bones, and get medicine that makes you tired.” I joked. She giggled.  
  
“How long have you been seeing my brother?”  
  
“Not very long.”  
  
“Weird. He never shuts up about you. He made it sound like you’ve been dating for longer.” She fed herself a mouthful of enchilada. I blushed.  
  
“Are you in any clubs in school?” She asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I’m in creative writing club and art club. I used to be in more, but I haven’t been as into school this year.”  
  
“I’m in art class, but I’m not good at it. I like it, but I suck at it.” She smiled. She’s pretty chill for a pre-teen.  
  
“You don’t have to be good at something to enjoy it.” I told her.  
  
“Ain’t that the truth.” She sighed.  
  
“Isn’t,” Denise corrected. Janice rolled her eyes. “How’s your wrist healing up?” She asked me.  
  
“Slowly, very slowly.” I told her. “It’s not really my wrist that gives me trouble, it’s my ribs.”  
  
“Those do take awhile to heal.” She frowned.  
  
“Wanna go watch a movie?” Matt asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
We helped clear the table and excused ourselves. I followed Matt to his bedroom and sprawled out on his bed. It’s so comfortable and it smells like him.  
  
“You’re so beautiful –you know that?” He asked me, laying next to me.  
  
“So you tell me.” I nuzzled his neck and gave him a quick kiss. I really didn’t pay attention to what was on the TV.  
  
“Do you want to come to my band practice later?” He asked me.  
  
“I’d love to.” I told him.

* * *

  
  
“Dude, tell me you brought food.” Brian complained as soon we got out of the car. I handed him a tin of cookies. “Bro, she steals my heart every time she gives me cookies.” He smiled through a mouthful. I giggled.  
  
“I see how it is. She comes around and I’m chopped liver.” Matt mock-frowned.  
  
“If you brought me cookies, I’d love you more, too.” Brian told him, leading us into his house. “Everybody’s already downstairs in the basement, setting up.” He told us. I nodded. “They’re gonna be so disappointed that all the cookies are for me.”  
  
“Or you could share.” I suggested.  
  
“Or they can step on Legos.” He beamed. I shook my head.  
  
“You’re something else.”  
  
“Something awesome.” He shot back. We walked into his basement. It’s completely decked out with band equipment.  
  
“Dudes, I have cookies and they’re not for you.” Brian bragged. The other guys tackled him and made for the cookies. After they stole their goodies, they introduced themselves.  
  
“I’m Johnny – you must be the infamous Angela.” He hugged me. He’s rocking bleach-blonde hair and a nose ring.  
  
“It’s good to meet you.” I told him.  
  
“Hey, I’m Jimmy.” A guy offered his hand. I shook it. I’m jealous of his hair – mine never behaves the way I want it to. It’s short and gelled on top with bangs and longer on the bottom. His smile made his labret piercing twinkle.  
  
“Angela – it’s nice to meet you.” I smiled.  
  
“Did Matt ever get you the demo?” He asked me, looking at Matt. I nodded.  
  
“He did. My father is coming to town tomorrow, so I’ll be able to give it to him then. I’m sure he’ll love it.” I told him. He grinned and pulled me into a hug.  
  
“Right on. Let’s start practice.” He walked over to the drums. He looks like he was made for them. All the guys look right, like this is what they were made to do. I pulled out my camera and started recording.  
  
“What are we starting with?” Matt asked Jimmy.  
  
“Almost Easy?” Brian suggested. Matt nodded.  
  
“Let’s do this.” Zack voiced. They warmed up and got started.  
  
_I feel insane, every single time I’m asked to compromise._  
_‘Cause I’m afraid and stuck in my ways –_  
_And that’s the way it stays._  
  
_So, how long did I expect_  
_Love to outweigh ignorance?_  
_By that look on your face,_  
_I may have forced the scale to tip._  
  
I walked in front of the band and took turns filming each of them. They’re so into their playing; I doubt they even notice.  
  
_I’m not insane; I’m not insane._  
_I’m not insane; I’m not insane._  
  
Matt looks so sexy when he sings. He makes the best faces. I finished taping the rest of the song and their next. Maybe I can put this together as a video for them. I’m not entirely tech savvy.  
  
“I think that’s enough for today.” Matt told them. He looked over at me. “What did you think?”  
  
“You guys were great. I got some good stuff.” I waved the camera in my hand.  
  
“Awesome. I’ll take you home.” He offered.

* * *

  
  
“Thanks for letting me tag-along.” I told him, opening my door.  
  
“Don’t mention it.”  
  
“I’m gonna show the video to my dad, tomorrow. Maybe you can meet him soon.” I told him.  
  
“I’d like that.”  
  
“Not this time. I’ll ask him to come down next week.” I told him. He nodded and captured my lips with his. I melted into the kiss before taking my leave. “I’ll see ya mañana.” I told him.  
  
“Bye, babe.”  
  
He drove away and I floated inside. Today was nice. I need to cherish all my happy moments. I’m excited and nervous about seeing Jared. He’s going to ask so many questions. I don’t know how many of them I want to answer.  
  
I’ll worry about tomorrow’s problems in the a.m. Tonight, I’ll sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit:  
"Almost Easy" - Avenged Sevenfold


	29. Dad, Dinner and Demos

Chapter Twenty-Five:

  
  
For the first time in a long time, I woke up feeling great. I wasn’t hurting like I normally did. I got out of bed as comfortably as I could and decided to shower.  
  
I’m not going to take any medicine today. I’ve been relying on it too much. I want to be in control of my body. I don’t want to feel numb today. I want to experience the world… Or in my case – school.  
  
I finished getting ready and looked at my appearance in the mirror. I opted for hot pink, skinny jeans, rolled at the ends, a black tee with a mesh top, and low-top, black, chucks. No jeggings and baggy sweaters for this girl, not today. I’m going to be human today.  
  
I walked downstairs and grabbed my school things. I set them on the kitchen counter and poured myself some coffee. I drank it and waited for Jace to get his happy ass up. Gwen came into the kitchen clad in _How I Met Your Mother_ pajama pants and a tank top.  
  
“Morning, baby.” She smiled and kissed my cheek.  
  
“G’morning.” I responded through a mouthful of coffee.  
  
“Jace still asleep?” She asked, grabbing yogurt and berries out of the refrigerator.  
  
“Yup.” I told her. She chuckled and pulled a box of granola out of a nearby cabinet. She got out three bowls and started dishing out breakfast. “I’ll call him.” I told her. I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.  
  
“Hello,” he mumbled.  
  
“Get up, Sleeping Beauty.” I told him.  
  
“It’s too fucking early.”  
  
“We have to leave for school in 30.” I told him.  
  
“Shit, really? I forgot to set my alarm. Gimme 10 minutes. I’ll be down.” He hung up. Gwen and I started eating.  
  
“Do you have the day off?” I asked her. Normally, she’s already dressed when it’s time for us to head out.  
  
“I do. I was planning on cleaning up a bit and running the store to pick up things for dinner. Jared said he was coming by around 4-4:30 p.m.”  
  
“Okay. He’ll probably get here around the same time I will. I was going to see if Matt wanted to grab a coffee after school.” I told her. She smiled. “Eric comes back in a little over a week. I just wanna make the most out of the time I have.”  
  
“I understand. I would do the same thing.”  
  
“I have a demo of Matt’s band… Do you think it would be weird if I gave it to Jared tonight? I don’t want to spook him or anything.” I told her, shoveling food into my mouth.  
  
“I don’t think he’ll mind. It’s what he does for a living and he does care about you. You’re his daughter, even if it did take him a while to realize that.” She smiled at me. Jace came bouncing down the stairs.  
  
“Good morning, all. Not to worry, I’m here. The party can officially start now. I’m expecting the strobe lights and booty dancers to show up any minute.” He smirked. He eyed his breakfast on the counter. “For me? You shouldn’t have.” He plopped down next to me and started chowing down.  
  
“Someone’s in a good mood this morning.” I mused.  
  
“It’s amazing what a little extra sleep will do.” He smiled through a mouthful of yogurt.  
  
“Who are you and what have you done with my son?” Gwen asked him. He shrugged.  
  
“I’m his awesome replacement, shaaah.” We all laughed. Today is going to be a good day. I can feel it.  
  


* * *

  
  
I got started on writing my extra credit paper for History. I really don’t want to get lazy with schoolwork even though I’m still ahead. I need to make sure I’m the Valedictorian. It’s just one less thing to worry about.  
  
The rest of class breezed by, but it normally does. I tried and failed to focus on much of anything. I’m nervous about tonight. It seems like I’m always nervous about something.  
  
I keep psyching myself out. It’s the worst. I know that I’m the only problem but I can’t help believing it. Jared doesn’t have a great track record. What if he decides that he doesn’t want to step up anymore? What if he meets a girl? What if he’s decided that he’s ashamed of me?  
  
All the what-ifs are swirling around in my head. It’s like a disease that only multiplies with time. I can’t get it to stop.  
  
What if Eric comes back early? He did it before. What if Matt realizes that he’d rather be involved with someone who doesn’t have as much baggage? What if Jace really isn’t okay with being just friends? What if I lose both of them?  
  
I need to stop thinking like this. It’s driving me crazy. Fuck everything. I’m in a good mood. Today started well and it’s going to end well, damn it.  
  


* * *

  
  
Jace went with us to grab coffee. I don’t want things to be weird and this is the only way I could think of to make sure that things won’t be.  
  
“Jimmy hasn’t stopped talking about the fact that you’re giving your dad our demo.” Matt told me. I smiled.  
  
“I’m sure he’ll like it. I can’t think of why he wouldn’t.” I assured him.  
  
“Brian had me listen to some of your stuff in Study Hall the other day. I didn’t know you guys were that good. No offense, bro.” Jace told him, biting into a piece of pie. Matt shrugged.  
  
“We want to get serious about it. I love it. If there was any way I could pursue it professionally, I’d do it in a second. When it starts feeling like a job, that’s when I’ll stop. I can’t imagine doing anything else.” Matt admitted.  
  
“That’s good. You should go after your dream.” I placed my hand on top of his.  
  
“What’s your dream?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“To do something great. I thought about interning in Jared’s company or somewhere else. I’ll probably do something writing related.” I answered. “I haven’t given it much thought.”  
  
“You’ll know, eventually.” Jace teased. I finished the last of my coffee and stole a bite of Jace’s pie.  
  
“We better be going. Jared should be at the house soon. I’ll call you and let you know what he says about your demo. Cross your fingers. I know he’ll flip.” I told Matt, pulling myself up. Matt got out of his chair and gave me his hand to steady to me. I pulled on his shirt, so he had to lean down, to kiss him goodbye.  
  
We got into Jace’s car and headed out. We really didn’t talk much just jammed out to music during our short drive.

* * *

  
  
“You really didn’t have to come all the way out here.” I told Jared, as we sat down at the table.  
  
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve got a lot to make up for, Angela.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“I’m glad you’re here, now.”  
  
“It’s nice to be here. I talked to Gwen before you two got here, but we’ve got something in the works. The less you know, the better. I don’t want something to happen to you because I was careless. You’ve been hurt enough.” He told me, squeezing my hand. I just nodded.  
  
“This isn’t related at all, but I’ve got a demo for Matt’s band. Would you mind listening to it?” I asked him. He smiled.  
  
“Are they any good?”  
  
“Actually, they’re really good.”

* * *

  
  
“Gel, did you show him the video?” Jace asked, giving me a light shove.  
  
“There’s a video?” Jared asked. I turned on my laptop and got the video going.  
  
“This is Avenged Sevenfold.” I told him and let him watch it. He didn’t say anything, just started to smile.  
  
“I think you’ve got an eye for talent. Would they be willing to meet with me?” He asked.  
  
“They’d be more than willing.” I told him.  
  
“Great. Give me Matt’s number and I’ll set something up. I’ve got to be going, Angela. Can I take the demo with me?” He asked.  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Email me the video?” He asked.  
  
“Sure thing – be safe.” I told him. He said his goodbyes and Jace and I settled into a movie. I texted Matt and told him the good news.  
  
_Hey, he’s gonna call you and set up a meeting. He definitely liked your music._  
_-Angela_  
  
All in all, it’s been a good day. I’ve got a sinking feeling in my gut. My Eric-free time is slipping away faster than I’d like. I’ll face that problem when I come to it.  
  
_That’s great. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for breakfast._  
_-Matt_


	30. The Proposition

Chapter Twenty-Six:

**Eric’s POV**

  
I can’t concentrate on anything business related. Every time I close my eyes, I think of my Angel. I remember how she feels. I remember how she tastes and how she resists me. It turns me on beyond belief. I feel like I can’t be satisfied without her.  
  
I’ve met a couple of women who have an uncanny resemblance to her. They get me aroused and they’ve gotten me off, but there’s still something missing.  
  
I got into my hotel room and slammed my fist through the wall. God damn-it. I’ve always wanted what I couldn’t have and she is no exception. I took off my clothes and got in the shower.  
  
I pictured our last erotic encounter. I surprised myself with how far I took things. I never expected it to as far as she did. She was magnificent. She fought until she was too hurt to fight. I remember how trying to break her felt. I’m addicted to that feeling. I’m addicted to _her_. No one else has been gratifying since Angela and I have been intimate together.  
  
I rinsed the soap off of my body and got out of the shower. I dried off and grabbed my phone to call her. She always answers me.  
  
“What do you want Eric?” She answered. I smirked as I pictured her annoyance.  
  
“I was just thinking about you. Can’t a father call his daughter?” I asked her. She sighed.  
  
“You’re not my father, so no.” She snapped. I’m getting hard just listening to her voice.  
  
“Do you realize what a turn on you are? Just listening to your voice makes me want you.” I groaned into the phone. I started stroking myself absentmindedly.  
  
“What do you want?” She repeated.  
  
“I want you, _Angel_.”  
  
“I’m not yours.” She spat.  
  
“I’ll be home at the end of next week and I’ll be claiming what’s mine.” I growled.  
  
“We’ll see about that.” She shot back.  
  
“I look forward to seeing you, Angel.” I cooed. I can almost picture her rolling her eyes.  
  
“I’m sure.”  
  
“I know you’ve been seeing that boy.” I told her, moving my hand faster.  
  
“Okay?”  
  
“Have you thought anymore about my proposal?” I asked her.  
  
“Your vague as hell proposal?”  
  
“If you’re willing to submit to me, you can keep your little friend.”  
  
“That’ll happen after hell freezes over.” She hissed. God. I wish I could have seen her face.  
  
“_Angel,_” I moaned. I finished all over my hand. “I’ll take you, willing or not. That’s the offer. Take it or leave it. I’d hate for your friend to get hurt because of your reluctance to give in to me.” I panted.  
  
“Is that all you wanted?” She asked me.  
  
“Did I need another reason?” I got up and cleaned myself off.  
  
“Goodbye, Eric.” She hung up. I tossed my phone onto the bed, before following suit. Next week isn’t coming soon enough. I don’t know if I can wait that long.


	31. A Nightmare and a Necklace

Chapter Twenty-Seven:

**Angela’s POV**  
  
I got out of bed feeling light-headed. That’s weird. Did I take too many pills last night? God, this is trippy. Everything is different than it should be. All the colors are more intense and I’m not hurting anymore. I feel fine, better than fine. I looked down and held my arms out in front of me – my cast is gone. What? I opened my bedroom door and ended up in the hallway of Eric’s house.  
  
What the fuck is going on?  
  
“Angel, you’re awake.” Eric beamed. He leaned in and kissed me. I just stood there and let him. I can’t stop him. I feel like I’m just a puppet and someone else is controlling me. “I’ve got a surprise for you.” He whispered, his tongue running from my collar bone to my ear. I shuddered. I feel… aroused. I never feel this way with him.  
  
Everything is backwards. Why can’t I stop myself? I followed him to his room and saw fuzzy handcuffs on his bed along with a weird looking, pearl necklace. He just kept grinning. He looks like the Cheshire cat. I feel like I’m missing something.  
  
“Sit down.” He told me. I did just what he asked. I sat down on his bed. “Open your legs.” He commanded, softly. I did so, as if I had no will of my own. He tugged my panties off of me and just gazed at me for a moment. “You’re so beautiful.” He murmured, cupping my core. He moaned. “You’re so wet for me. You know how much Daddy likes it when you behave.” He winked. “Lay down, Angel.” He told me. I fell backwards, spread eagle.  
  
I’m like a giant contradiction trapped in one body. Everything inside of me is screaming against him, trying to revolt, but on the other hand… My body is completely compliant and is responding in a way that I’ve only ever felt for Matt. I wanna cry or scream or something – anything. I can’t move.  
  
Eric busied himself, cuffing me to the bed. He only cuffed one hand. That’s new. Normally he has me as tied up as possible.  
  
“We’re trying something new tonight, baby doll.”He whispered, his breath warm on my ear. It sent shivers down my spine and into my groin. I can’t even close my eyes. He brought his hand to my pussy and stroked my clit, lazily. My hips jerked against his touch. He smiled. “You like that?” He asked. My head moved on its own accord. “Let me hear how much you like it.” He suggested. He put a finger inside of me and started to flicking my G spot. I made sounds I didn’t even know I could make.  
  
He didn’t stop. He kept going until I climaxed. Then, he started with his mouth. It started to blur together after awhile. This feels like a twisted, erotic nightmare that I’m trapped in.  
  
He moved me onto my stomach before I realized what he was doing. He squirted something warm onto my back. My breathing went into overdrive. It seems to be the only thing that I can control. His hands were moving on my back, hell-bent on massaging every kink and knot. I groaned. God, something so… fucked up, shouldn’t feel so good. I hate my body for loving this.  
  
His hands moved lower. He cupped my ass before rubbing that, too. He added more oil or whatever he was using and put a finger inside of my backside. I cried out in pain. No warning, no nothing. At least that is something I would expect. Finally, something normal.  
  
He started pumping his finger in and out before adding another. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Why is he doing this? This is something we’ve never done. It’s something he’s never even hinted at wanting to try. I’m at a loss.  
  
“I’m sorry, Angel. It’ll only hurt for a minute. I promise you, it’ll feel good. I’ll teach you how to orgasm through anal penetration.” He promised. With that, I swear, my heart stopped. No. No. NO! I screamed as loudly as I could in my head. I can’t make a sound or resist. What did I do to deserve this? I knew staying with Matt would be playing with fire. Maybe I’d be better off. There’s no way I can keep doing this. I just want this to stop.  
  
He pulled the necklace out from underneath me and switched it on. I didn’t even realize it had any buttons. It started vibrating. With that, I knew exactly what they were – anal beads.  
  
He removed his fingers and started putting it inside of me, little by little. I couldn’t even flinch. His breathing grew heavier. I can tell it’s turning him on. He finally gets to get his freak on with a willing participant.  
  
I feel uncomfortably full. He started tugging on it, lightly, not enough to pull it out, but enough to where I could feel it and it started to feel better. He knows what he’s doing and that doesn’t make me feeling better in the slightest.  
  
“Are you ready for them to come out?” He asked me, his voice ragged.  
  
“Yes,” I whispered. He pulled out, quick enough for it to burn.  
  
“God, you’re sexy. I haven’t done a thing in my life to deserve you.” He growled. I could feel him prop himself up enough to position his manhood outside of the only place in my body that still has virginity still intact. He shoved himself inside. I yelped. This time it was vocal. “I’m sorry, Angel. It’ll stop hurting soon. God, you feel so good. I’m so glad you’re mine.” He thrusted. My eyes almost crossed. Whatever he hit felt unnaturally good. It still hurts, but it’s not all pain. “Say it. Tell me you’re mine.” He grunted, thrusting into me. I wanna die.  
  
“I’m yours.” I gasped. I just died a little inside.  
  
“Say my name.”  
  
“Eric.”  
  
“Who’s your daddy?”  
  
“You are.”  
  
“How does it feel?” He asked, hitting that spot again. I moaned. He moved his hand to my clit and started rubbing in circles.  
  
“Good.” I gasped.  
  
“Tell me you’re mine.”  
  
“I’m yours.” He kept hitting the spot. Oh, God. I can’t last much longer of this.  
  
“Again.”  
  
“I’m yours.” I told him.  
  
“Again!” He yelled, leaning down and biting my back. I yelped. He’s pumping in and out of me with reckless abandon, now. I’m seeing stars.  
  
“Yours.”  
  
“Only mine!”  
  
“I’m only yours!” I screamed as I started to spiral through my release. I came so violently, I took Eric with me. I can feel him pulsing inside of me. He grunted.  
  
“Fuck, Angela.” He growled. I lay underneath him, still spasming. He pulled out of me and turned me over. “Why couldn’t you give into me before? Isn’t this so much better than fighting me? Don’t you see how good this could be for you? Don’t you want this?” He asked me. His bedroom door opened, Matt walked inside, shirtless. “I told you that you could keep your friend if you cooperated. It’s his turn.” He grinned. Matt took off his pants and walked over to the bed, sliding a hand on my thigh.  
  
“You know I’m just using you until I can find someone better – right? I mean, why would I want a whore? You’re damaged goods, at best. I couldn’t ever love you.” He smirked. It feels like someone just ripped my heart out and set it on fire before shoving it down a garbage disposal. This isn’t real. This can’t be real. It’s all too much.  
  
“Angela! Wake up! Wake up!” Why am I shaking? Why am I…? My eyes fluttered open. Jace? I flinched away from him. Where am I? What just happened? “You were having a nightmare.” He told me, touching my forehead. “God, Angela, you’re burning up. Are you okay?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“If felt so real, Jace. I can’t. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t deal with being afraid all the time. I can’t stay with Matt knowing Eric might hurt him. I don’t have it in me. I can’t, Jace. I’m so scared.” I sobbed. The tears came rushing down. He sat down and pulled me into his lap. Tears soaked through his shirt. I can’t stop. “You don’t know what it’s like. When it’s not physical, or just physical, it’s psychological. It’s so… draining. I don’t feel like myself.” I told him.  
  
“Gel, if you don’t want to go back to him, don’t. You can stay here.” He promised me.  
  
“I need something permanent.”  
  
“Jared and my mom are working on it.”


	32. Worries and Reassurance

Chapter Twenty-Eight:

  
  
I tossed and turned all night before giving up. I sighed and got up as soundlessly as I could, trying not to wake Jace. He stayed with me so I wouldn’t have to stay alone. He’s a good friend.  
  
I limped downstairs. My entire body is feeling the stress. I’m hurting, more than double what I normally am. It’s ridiculous. I don’t want to take my meds, not just yet. The pain helps me keep sense with reality. The dreams felt so real. I want to talk to Matt, but then again, I don’t.  
  
Everything he’s done and everything we’ve talked about proves what nightmare Matt wrong. It’s really fucking with my head. Everything is jumbled. I can’t think clearly about anything.  
  
I pulled on a sweater and headed for the front door. I grabbed my keys and my mace. I locked the door behind me and started walking. I’ve walked the streets in this area plenty of times – some with Jace, some without.  
  
The chilly air is nice. It’s calming. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared at it. It feels heavy in my hand. Who would I call? Who can I call? Would things be easier if I just picked up and left? Who am I kidding? Eric would never stop looking for me. That wouldn’t be freedom. That would be running and severing all ties. I can’t do that. I couldn’t do that. Matt, Jace, Gwen, Jared, they deserve better than that.  
  
I feel… hopeless. I feel like, no matter what I try to accomplish, nothing is ever going to change or get better. Everything just keeps spiraling downward. I can’t keep putting up a front and pretending to be brave. It’s exhausting.  
  
My phone started vibrating. I almost dropped it.  
  
“Hello?” I answered.  
  
“Hey, are you okay?” Matt asked.  
  
“I’ve been better, been worse.” I sighed.  
  
“Do you want some company?” He asked me.  
  
“That’d be great. Did Jace call you?” I asked him.  
  
“He may have. Hang tight, I’m on my way over.” He told me.  
  
“Okay. Bye.” I hung up. On top of everything else, I feel like a burden. I hate it. I walked back to Jace’s house and got comfy on the porch. It scares me a little how much I’ve gotten used to Matt being there and how much I rely on him.  
  
I trust him so much and it’s frightening. Especially, when I’m not sure if he’ll be there after everything is said and done. Eric is a wild card. He always has been. Every time I think I have him figured out, he flips everything around on me.  
  
Matt walked up to me before I realized that he had pulled up. I jumped in surprise.  
  
“Hey, baby,” he greeted me. He helped me up. “Do you wanna go or do you wanna stay?” He asked me.  
  
“Would it be okay if we went back to your place?” I asked him. He nodded. “Thanks. I know it’s late.”  
  
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.” He told me, kissing me softly. God, school’s gonna be a bitch tomorrow. I’m just going to need to use an IV full of caffeine.

* * *

  
  
“Can you talk about it?” Matt asked me. I nodded. “Janice is asleep and mom is at work, so we won’t be interrupted.” He promised.  
  
“Eric called me earlier and I couldn’t shake it before I feel asleep.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Is that all that happened?” He asked.  
  
“It was… typical Eric behavior. He was jerking off while we were talking and he had a proposal for me. It just got so twisted. When I finally fell asleep, everything just morphed into a whole new monster. It felt so real. It felt _so_ real.” I trembled.  
  
“He’s not here. He can’t hurt you.” He told me. I swallowed, thickly.  
  
“Not right now.” I told him.  
  
“Can you tell me about it?” He asked. I nodded and started spewing all the gritty details. I can tell it’s making him uncomfortable, but he never made any move to leave or stop me. After I finished explaining, the silence was deadly. Neither one of us said anything for a long time. “I need you to know that I would never do anything like that to you. I’m not that type of person. A man shouldn’t be able to live with himself if he puts his hand on a woman. You’re safe with me. I will do everything I can to protect from whatever I can. I’m in this for the long haul. I’m all in, Angela. I’m not going to bail on you. I’m not going to leave.” He promised.  
  
I gave him a small smile but couldn’t keep from crying. “You don’t know how much that means to me or how much it terrifies me. He’s not some jealous ex. He’s powerful and relentless. I don’t want you to get hurt because of this. If things get really bad, you’re going to need to walk away. I can’t have you getting hurt because of me. I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. I feel so many things for you Matt. We haven’t been together long, and the way things are going… we’re getting attached so fast. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but this is real. He’s not above hurting people or me or you. Last time I didn’t know if I was going to die. I can’t ask you to stick with me through that.” I told him.  
  
“You don’t have to. If things get to that point, we’ll talk about it then. I’m not just going to walk away. That’s not who I am. If I wanted to take the easy way out, I’d be with someone else. You’re worth the drama and everything else. I care about you.”  
  
“And I care about you. I care about you a lot more than I should. You’re one of the only good things in my life. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”  
  
“Don’t worry about me.”  
  
“If I don’t submit to him, and I stay with you… I’m not going to be the only person he goes after. You understand that, right?” I asked him. He nodded. “We might have to be apart for a while, when he’s back.” I told him. He didn’t say anything, but the look in his eyes tells me that he understands.


	33. A New Song and a Comeback

Chapter Twenty-Nine:  
  


  
  
It was nice waking up in Matt’s arms, especially with last night being as bad as it was. It’s reassuring. I think I just needed to hear it from him. I believe him and I believe in us. I just hate surprises and there seem to be a lot of those in my life.  
  
I slipped out of bed and pulled on my shoes. Matt stirred and looked over at me, smiling. “How’d you sleep?” He asked me.  
  
“Better with you.” I told him.  
  
“Let me get dressed and we can head over to the Atwood’s. We should have time for you to get ready. It’s still pretty early.” He offered. I nodded.  
  
“Sounds good. I didn’t think to bring anything with me last night.” I sat down on his bed and watched him strip out of his clothes. I feel like I should look away, but I can’t take my eyes off of him. His chest is a masterpiece in itself. His abs are completely droolworthy. I watched his arms flex as he pulled clothes out of his dresser. He turned his back to me and dropped his boxer-briefs. My mouth fell open. Damn. I repeat, damn. He pulled on jeans and turned back around to face me.  
  
“See something you like?” He asked me. I blushed.  
  
“Maybe…”  
  
“Just maybe?” He walked over to me and pulled me to my feet. “Maybe?” He repeated. His warm breath sent shivers down my spine.  
  
"Yes.” I breathed.  
  
“I always like what I see, when it comes to you.” He whispered. I melted. Swear on carbs. I'm melting into a freaking puddle in front of him.  
  
“Of course I like what I see.” I told him, forcing myself to look him in the eye. He kissed me. My stomach fluttered. I pulled away. “I don’t wanna be late.” I told him. He nodded and winked.  
  
“Let’s go.”

* * *

  
  
I left Matt downstairs with Jace. Gwen had to be at work early. So, Jace had to play nice. He normally does, but with things lately, who knows what’s what.  
  
I decided on a fuchsia pleated skirt, a midnight purple long-sleeved shirt with matching knee socks, a grey vest, and flat-soled, black boots. I massaged some product through my hair and added minimal eye make-up before grabbing a jacket. No more dressing like a victim. If I don’t want to feel like a victim anymore, I can’t act like one.  


* * *

  
  
I actually managed to pay attention in class today. I took advantage of my study hall and stole away into an empty art room and started to sketch. I pulled out my iPod and listened to a few songs from Matt’s band. I kept sketching until I felt I captured the essence of their band.  
  
I stared at my previously blank page and just looked at for a minute. It isn’t perfect. Nothing I draw really is. I can always find the flaws. It’s a sneering skull with bat wings behind it. It looks kind of badass.  
  
The bell rang, surprising me. I packed up my things and headed outside to the picnic tables. I told Matt I would get a seat since he’s coming from an actual class. I pulled a water out of my bag and a small bag of pretzels.  
  
I started writing while I waited. I zoned out and just let it pour out.  
  
“You get really into writing, don’t you?” Someone came up from behind me. I jumped, dropping my pen. The mystery person sat down next to me while I fumbled to get my pen. I looked over and saw Cody. I’ve gone to school with him for years. We’ve never really talked. He’s an all-American meat-head. He has his moments but most of them he uses to think about football and sex. Typical jock.  
  
“Way to be creepy.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“Can’t a guy see a pretty girl and keep her company without questions?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“Not normally, no. What do you want?” I asked him.  
  
“Just to tell you…” he paused to look me over. I shifted uncomfortably and looked him in the eyes. He smirked. “You look really good today.” He complimented.  
  
“Thank you. Is that all?” I asked. He gives off a seriously sleazy vibe.  
  
“If you ever get tired of the whole ‘bad boy’ thing, I’m around and I’m more than interested.” He winked. I shuddered.  
  
“That’s… flattering, but I’m with Matt and even if I wasn’t, you’re not my type.” I told him. His smirk slid from his face.  
  
“I like my women feisty.” He leered.  
  
“And I like men who can take ‘no’ for an answer.”  
  
“I’m sure I can change your mind.”  
  
“I’m sure you can’t. You should go, Cody.” I told him.  
  
“I’ll see you around, Angela.” He promised, getting up. Matt and Jimmy walked over to the table and gave him the ‘what-the-fuck-do-you-think-you’re-doing-here?’ look. He nodded to them.  
  
“No, you won’t.” I countered. He wiggled his eyebrows and left.  
  
“What was that about?” Matt asked. I shrugged.  
  
“He wanted to let me know he was interested.” I told him. Matt’s face darkened. “Chill. I told him to take a hike. He’s a creep.”  
  
“He doesn’t have a good rep with the ladies. If he gives you anymore lip, let me know. I don’t think being alone with him would be a good idea for you. There are rumors that he’s pushed himself on some of the cheerleaders around school.” Matt sat down. I nodded.  
  
“Alright.”  
  
“We were bouncing song lyrics around. Matt can show you later. Let me know what you think.” Jimmy told me.  
  
“Sounds awesome.” I told him. I put my notebook away and started on my sketch pad before Jimmy grabbed it.  
  
“This is wicked. Did you draw this?” He asked. I nodded. “This is exactly what we’ve been looking for. Something to symbolize our music.” He grinned and showed Matt. Matt studied it and took a picture of it with his phone.  
  
“I’m gonna send this to the guys and see what they think.” Matt announced.  
  
“Can we use this?” Jimmy asked.  
  
“Yeah, sure. I was listening to your stuff when I drew it.” I told him.  
  
“This is fucking bad-ass.” He raved. I smiled.  
  
“Thank you.”  


* * *

  
  
“I can’t believe you designed a decal for our band.” Matt put his arm around me as we walked to his car. I shrugged.  
  
“It’s nothing.” I told him.  
  
“It’s awesome.”  
  
“You’ve done so much for me.” I kissed him before getting into the passenger’s seat.  
  
“You look amazing, today.”  
  
“Thank you.” I smiled.  
  
“I miss your smile.” He whispered. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Shut up.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“I wanna play you something. This is the song we’ve been throwing around. These are the lyrics Jimmy and I finally decided on.” Matt hooked his iPod up to his stereo and started playing the song. It’s soothing.  
  
_Take the time just to listen,_  
_When the voices screaming are much too loud._  
_Take a look in the distance;_  
_Try and see it all._  
  
_Chances are that you might find,_  
_That we share a common discomfort now._  
_I feel I’m walking a fine line –_  
_Tell me only if it’s real._  
  
I looked over at Matt as he sang along. His ability to convey emotion through his singing is unreal. I’m mesmerized.  
  
_I walked through the fields through the fire,_  
_Taking steps until I found solid ground._  
_Followed dreams, reaching higher,_  
_Couldn’t survive the fall._  
  
_Much has changed since the last time_  
_And I feel a little less certain now._  
_You know I jumped at the first sign;_  
_Tell me only if it’s real._  
  
I closed my eyes and listened to the rest of the song. I wonder when Jared will call them about setting something up. I hope he doesn’t flake out on it. I know how much the band’s looking forward to it. I think they’ll do well if they’re given a shot.  
  
_And I’m chained like a slave –_  
_Trapped in the dark._  
_Slammed all the locks;_  
_Death calls my name_  
_And it seems I’ve been buried alive._  
  
_Take you down now._  
_Burn it all out._  
_Throw you all around._  
_Get your fucking hands off me._  
  
The song got darker and it resonated even more with me. It’s like everything I’ve been feeling but haven’t been able to express.  
  
_While it seems sick,_  
_Sober up quick._  
_Watch it fall apart._  
_Now you’re knocking at the wrong gate._  
  
_For you to pay the toll,_  
_A price for you alone,_  
_The only deal you’ll find,_  
_I’ll gladly take your soul._  
  
I listed to the rest wondering just what Matt went through as a kid with his dad. It’s probably better left for another time.  
  
Matt looked over at me when it ended. “What did you think?” He asked me. I smiled.  
  
“It’s amazing.” I told him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit: "Buried Alive" -- Avenged Sevenfold


	34. Bonding and Strength

Chapter Thirty:  
  
  
  
  
I couldn’t get Matt’s song out of my head. I made him put it on my laptop when we got back to Jace’s house. I took my pain pills and changed into something comfortable so I could nap later on. I pulled out my phone and dialed Jared’s number. I want to call him while I’m thinking about it. I don’t want to forget.  
  
“Hey baby girl,” he answered.  
  
“Hey Jared, I just wanted to ask when you were going to touch base with Matt.” I told him, suddenly nervous.  
  
“I actually was getting ready to give him a call. I wanted to run something by him. Do you think he’d be willing to come to LA tomorrow with the rest of his band-mates?” Jared suggested.  
  
“I think they’d be psyched.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“That’s the reaction I was going for. After we get off the phone, I’ll give him a call. But, how are you doing?” He asked.  
  
“Honestly? I’m not sure. How I feel changes every day and then some. Everything’s just really complicated and it seems like I worry about everything even more with each day.”  
  
“Baby, I’m doing the best I can to come up with a way to get you out of this. I have some of the best attorneys around working around the clock on this. Don’t worry – they’re being discreet.”  
  
“It’s impossible not to worry.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“Your mother was the same way when she was younger.” He told me.  
  
“What was she like?” I asked him.  
  
“You probably remember her better than I do baby-girl.” He told me.  
  
“Not the way you do. She changed after you. I don’t know why or what caused it but she drank herself to death. She knew what she was doing and she didn’t care that she was leaving me behind. I wasn’t a good enough reason to stay.” I said more to myself. Normally, that just stays bottled up. I don’t know why it’s spilling out now.  
  
“Baby, you don’t really believe that, do you?” He asked.  
  
“It’s the truth Jared. Of course I believe it. No one else wanted anything to do with us because she spiraling. Her parents couldn’t stand the way she was living or that I was a bastard. After she died, that didn’t change. They looked at me and saw their dead daughter. They blamed me for her disappointments. For a long time, Eric was the only one around. He was the only one who noticed me. I kind of wish he didn’t see me, either.” I told him.  
  
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.” His voice broke.  
  
“We can’t change anything that happened. You’re here now.” I told him.  
  
“I should have been man enough to be there for you then. You needed me then. I was too wrapped up in myself and my then wife to pay any attention to you. You didn’t deserve it. You _don’t_ deserve it.”  
  
“I appreciate you saying that. It means a lot. I’m not holding it against you. Life’s too short. Hating takes too much out of me. I tried for a really long time to not hate Eric, but I can’t. I can’t get above it. I can’t forgive him.” I started crying. This is the most we’ve ever talked about anything serious.  
  
“Baby, nobody in your shoes would expect you to forgive anything he’s done to you. I’m not here to judge you. It’s amazing you’ve gotten to be such a strong, young woman without help. I wouldn’t have turned out as well as you have, Angela.”  
  
“I’ll take your word for it.” I told him, unsure of myself.  
  
“We are going to make it through this. Do you hear me? I don’t scare easy. I’m not the kid I used to be. I’m not afraid to step up for my own. I am going to make sure you come out of this okay.” He vowed.  
  
“I hear you.”  
  
“Good. Take a deep breath, baby-girl. Take a bubble bath, eat some chocolate, curl up to a chick flick, put on your slippers, just do something to pamper yourself.” He told me.  
  
“I will.” I told him. “It may just be a nap.”  
  
“That’s fine. I’ll call Matt and let you know how it goes.” He promised.  
  
“Alright, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up. I plugged my phone into the charger and got comfortable on the couch. I covered myself with a throw blanket and closed my eyes.  
  


* * *

  
  
I’m trapped in my bedroom. I can hear Eric pounding his fists on my door. The door busted open. I jumped backwards. Oh, my God. The fuck just happened? I’ve got two deadbolts on my door and a chain.  
  
Eric lunged at me and we both went down. I started doing whatever I could to get him off me. I clawed his face and managed to grab him by the pressure point right below his ear. It caught him off guard. He let go of me and took my opportunity. I hooked my leg around his ankle and pushed him off of me. I ran to the living room, trying to leave the house.  
  
He recovered too quickly. He grabbed me just as I got the door open. He threw me to the ground. I winced. Something broke but I don’t have time to figure out what. I don’t have time to worry about breaking bones or getting messy. I need to get out of here alive.  
  
“You’re never going to get away from me.” He hissed. He pulled me up by my hair. I stomped on his foot and he dropped me. I fumbled on the ground, trying to find anything to help me. I found a pencil and jabbed it into his shin. He went berserk. He kicked me and I went down, hard. I pushed myself up and got out the door.  
  
I ran faster than I ever have in my life. My car is nowhere to be found. I kept pushing myself harder and harder still. I can hear him behind me. He’s faster than I am. I can’t look back, if I look back, I’ll falter. I can’t afford that, right now.  
  
My feet were out from underneath me before I realized what was happening. I went flying. I hit concrete, hard. I must’ve tripped on something. I rolled onto my side and pushed myself up. He’s gaining on me. I looked around and saw a discarded baseball bat in the grass. I picked it up and stood my ground. I’m not running anymore. I can’t run anymore. I need to face him or I’ll always be running.  
  
“You’re mine.” He smirked. I shook my head.  
  
“I’ve never been yours. I’ll never _be_ yours.” I told him. He walked closer to me.  
  
“What are you gonna do?” He asked, eyeing the bat. “You don’t have the balls to do it.” He told me.  
  
“I don’t need balls – I have ovaries.” I told him, lunging at him. I swung the bat and I felt it connect with something. I kept swinging and swinging. He got me off of him and onto the ground. He put his foot on top of my chest. I punched him behind his knee. He toppled over me. I got up and stood there, looking at him. “You can’t beat me. You’re nothing. You don’t have any power over me.” I told him.  
  
He looked up at me, confused. He stood up and pulled a gun from his jacket pocket. He held it my forehead. “If I can’t have you, I’ll kill you before I let anyone else have you.” He whispered.  
  
“Then kill me. It won’t change anything. I’m not scared of you anymore. You can’t beat me down. I’m stronger than you are.” I told him. Something flashed and music started to play.  
  
_Every day, I wake up and I fall from grace._  
_Every move I make has got me stuck in the darkest place._  
_I pray for mercy but I love the fear._  
_I should’ve listened while the angels were living here._  
  
I fell out of bed. I blinked furiously, trying to clear the sleep out of my eyes. What? Oh, my God. Shit. Really? Can’t I have normal dreams like everybody else?  
  
Where is that music coming from? My phone! Where is it?  
  
_I’m sick to my soul._  
_I gave you control._  
_It feels I’m hanging at the end of my rope._  
_I wanna believe that there is still hope._  
  
I finally found it and pulled it off the charger. It’s Matt.  
  
“Hello?” I breathed, my heart still racing.  
  
“Hey, I just got off the phone with your dad and the guys. You down with going to LA with us tomorrow?” He asked me.  
  
“It’s okay if you guys wanna go without me.” I told him.  
  
“He’s your dad. We’re getting this shot because of you. We want you to be there.” He told me.  
  
“Alright. What time did you wanna head out?” I asked him.  
  
“Pick you up around eight?” He asked me.  
  
“Sure. Sounds good. How many cars are we taking?”  
  
“Two. I’ll drive and Jimmy offered to drive his car. I’m putting that song on a disc for Jared right now.”  
  
“That’s great. I’m so proud of you guys.” I told him. I can almost hear him smiling.  
  
“Do you want to do something to celebrate?” He asked me.  
  
“Actually, I think I might take a bath and watch something girlie.” I told him.  
  
“Hey, I can handle girlie. I can even supply the chocolate and popcorn.”  
  
“I think that qualifies you as the perfect man.” I teased.  
  
“Let me know when you’re finished bathing and I’ll head over.” He told me.  
  
“Sounds like a plan.” I hung up. Jace walked into the living room.  
  
“You okay? You look… wrecked.”  
  
“Yeah, just… intense dream.” I told him.  
  
“Another one?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“This one wasn’t as bad. I stood up to him. But then he shot me. So… I guess it was worse. Go figure.” I shrugged.  
  
“If you need to talk, I’m here. I know that you’ve got Matt now, but I’m still your guy.” He told me, helping me up from the floor.  
  
“You know you’re my boo.” I teased. He rolled his eyes. “I love you, Jace. I know I can talk to you. I promise we’ll talk when I get back from LA. Jared set up a meeting with Matt and everyone tomorrow.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Tell him I say, ‘Hey’.” He grinned. “Just… be careful.”  
  
“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit: "Where Did the Angels Go?" -- Papa Roach


	35. Good News

Chapter Thirty-One:  
  
  
  
  
The sun crept underneath my eye lids. I opened my eyes and stared at the clock. 7 o’clock came well before I was ready for it. For the first time in a long while I was enjoying a dreamless sleep. The monsters stayed away last night. I’m not sure if it was because of my talk with Jared, or spending time on Matt, or trying to pamper myself, or even that insane dream… Whatever it was, it worked and I’m thankful it did.  
  
I took as quick of a shower as I could without getting my cast wet. I put on simple makeup and opted for comfortable jeans. I put on my converse and looked for something to wear with them. I decided on Flyleaf band-tee and a black blazer. I rolled the sleeves and put on feather earrings.  
  
I grabbed my purse and an extended battery for my phone. I grabbed a book for the car and put everything in a tote bag. I looked around my make-shift room. I don’t think I’ll need anything else.  
  
I headed downstairs and saw Gwen bustling around the kitchen. She was humming to herself as she was making breakfast. I swear; she never takes a break. I’d kill to have a mom like her. She gives a damn and it’s so obvious that she’d do anything for Jace. I’m not sure what I did to deserve for her to treat me like her own, but I’m so glad she does. She’s the mom I’ve never had.  
  
“You’re up early.” She smiled. “Are you excited for your trip?” She asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Excited and nervous,” I admitted.  
  
“Don’t be nervous. I think it’ll be good for you. Doing things that normal teenagers do…” She hinted. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Are you telling me I’m weird?” I asked her. She nodded. “Can’t someone just be antisocial and not be judged?” I asked her. She shook her head. “Well, that sucks.”  
  
“That’s life, sweetie. It sucks and then you die.” She grinned.  
  
“You’re so optimistic.”  
  
“I really am, aren’t I?”  
  
“Oddly, yes.” I told her. “Do you need any help?” I asked her. She shook her head.  
  
“I wanted to make sure you ate something before you left. Just in case something happens or you have to eat lunch late. You need something in your stomach. Did you pack your meds?” She asked, putting a bowl of fruit in front of me. I nodded. She gave me some peanut butter toast. She sat down at the table and beckoned me over to sit next to her. I sat down and we ate in a comfortable silence.  
  
“You know, for the first time in a long time, things are looking up. It’s refreshing.” I told her.  
  
“I’m happy for you. You deserve this.” She patted my hand. I smiled at her. Today just feels like one of those days. Like, when you wake up and the possibility of a good day is so prominent that you can’t help but be in a great mood as a result.  
  
“Thank you.” I told her. We finished eating just as Matt knocked on the door and came in, followed by Brian.  
  
“What’s up pretty ladies?” Brian grinned, snagging a leftover piece of apple out of my bowl.  
  
“Just finishing breakfast.” Gwen told them. “Did you boys eat?” She asked. Brian shook his head. I shook my head. I don’t think he’d ever turn down free food. Gwen got out two bowls and ladled fruit into each and got more toast going. “Sit down.” She told them both. Matt kissed my forehead before taking the vacant seat next to mine.  
  
“Hey stranger,” I told him.  
  
“Hey yourself, how’d you sleep?” He asked me.  
  
“Awesome, how ‘bout you?”  
  
“Like a rock.”  
  
“A dirty rock,” Brian added. I chuckled.  
  
“Hopefully you showered.” Gwen added. Matt shrugged.  
  
“Only on Mondays… The rest of the days, I just put on deodorant and I’m good to go. I don’t even change my clothes or anything.” He beamed.  
  
“That’s why you scare all the children.” Brian told him. Gwen brought the guys their food.  
  
“You’re going to have to eat quickly, so you’re not too far behind schedule.” She told them.  
  
“Yes ma’am.” Brian started shoveling food into his mouth.  
  
“Gwen,” she corrected.  
  
“Sorry.” He apologized through a mouthful of food.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Alright Brian, M&Ms or Skittles?” I asked him. It’s a long drive to Los Angeles, so we’re playing the question game. It started off as would you rather and morphed into pretty much any question we could think of.  
  
“M&Ms, no question.” He looked at me like I was crazy.  
  
“Dude, Skittles are so much better.” I told him.  
  
“No contest, Ange.” He argued.  
  
“To each his own.” I surrendered.  
  
“Celebrity crush?” Matt asked me.  
  
“Thor.” I told him.  
  
“A real person?” He countered, laughing.  
  
“Chris Hemsworth as Thor.” I stuck my tongue out at him.  
  
“My man, boobs or butt?” Brian asked Matt.  
  
“Why choose when you can have both?” He answered.  
  
“True that, but you gotta pick one.”  
  
“Butt, there’s just something about how a woman’s ass looks in jeans, you know?” He grinned, looking over at me. I blushed.  
  
“Hell yeah, bro.” Brian agreed.  
  


* * *

  
  
A couple hours later we finally arrived. We piled out of the cars and into Jared’s office. He came out to greet us as soon as he saw us get out of the car. Jared came over to hug me and beckoned us all inside.  
  
“I’m Jared Morgan.” He introduced. Matt offered his hand.  
  
“I’m Matt Sanders – it’s nice to meet you, sir.” He smiled. Everyone else followed suit. Once everyone had learned each other’s names, we all took a seat.  
  
“I listened to your demo and took a look at your video. I think you all are very talented. Do you think you would ever be interested in pursuing music professionally?” Jared asked. They all nodded in unison.  
  
“Sir, that’s what we’ve been trying to work toward. I think I speak for all of us when I say that’s our dream. We all want to make a living doing something that we love.” Jimmy spoke up. Jared looked pleased with his response.  
  
“In that case, I’d like to unofficially offer you a record deal.” Jared revealed. “Are any of you minors?” He asked the guys. They all shook their head. “Alright, even so, I’ll have contracts drawn up but I think it would be best if you had your parents look over them and any legal counsel you might need. I don’t need an answer right now. I know it’s a lot to consider, but I also know your relationship with my daughter. I don’t want to you rush you. Sleep on it and I’ll have the contracts overnight-ed to you on Monday. I’ll be in town next week and we can talk more about it then.” He offered.  
  
“Sounds good. We really appreciate it, Mr. Morgan.” Matt told him.  
  
“Jared,” he corrected. “I know you had a long drive, what do you say we go to dinner? My treat.”


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Two:  
  
  
  
  
I really didn’t say much on the car ride back to town. I listened to Matt and Brian fangirl over the record deal. I feel blissfully content. I couldn’t have planned today better if I tried. Everything went smoothly. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. I was so nervous about everything. I know the guys are thrilled. It’s one thing down and a million more to go.  
  
I know it’s only a matter of days before Eric is back. I have an awful feeling in my gut that I can’t shake. I’ve had this feeling before, but it’s never been this strong.  
  
I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled out my phone to text Jace. He’ll want to know what happened.  
  
_Hey, they got the record deal. They’re psyched. You still wanna talk? I could use my best guy._  
_-Angela_  
  
I pocketed my phone and watched Matt drive. If I was a better person, I would just walk away from Matt. I would end things with him so he wouldn’t get hurt. I would eliminate that possibility all together. I’m not sure if I’m strong enough.  
  
I know he doesn’t want it to come to that, but right now I don’t see any other alternative. I’m afraid of the repercussions of ignoring Eric’s warning. He’s more influential in California than I’d like to admit to myself. He’s got friends everywhere. It makes everything that much harder.  
  
My phone buzzed in my pocket.  
  
_Duh, Gel. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want to talk to you. Are you headed back?_  
_-Jay_  
  
_Don’t be such a smartass. Yes, we’re heading back. Are you free tonight?_  
_-A_  
  
I texted him back immediately. Matt reached over and held my hand. He glanced over at me and smiled. I offered him a small one in return.  
  
“You okay?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“I’m fine – thanks.” I told him. Brian looked over at me, doubtful, but didn’t say anything. I really think he suspects something is going on. I mean, he’s not stupid. A lot of people have looked like they suspect what goes on at home with Eric, but people love their ignorance. If they don’t know or want to know, they can ignore it. Story of my life.  
  
_It’s better than being a dumbass, Gel. Let me know when you’re close to town. I’m entertaining myself elsewhere.;)_  
_-The Man_  
  
I shook my head as I read his text. He’s so conceited. Wow.  
  
_Gross. I don’t wanna know you’re hooking up with some floozy. Have fun doing whatever you’re doing… Don’t really want to know. I’ll holler atcha when we’re close. Later._  
_-No, You’re Not. But I’m Awesome!_  
  
“Hungry?” Matt asked me. I shook my head.  
  
“Just tired.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
We didn’t talk the rest of the ride back. I don’t want to say what’s on my mind right now and I don’t want to lie to him. I’m pretty sure he knows something’s up because he keeps giving me _the_ look. I don’t want to talk to him about anything before I know where my head’s at. I hate pushing him away but I can’t help it.

* * *

  
  
We were at Jace’s before I knew it. He walked me to the door. Brian hung back in the car.  
  
“Do you have feelings for him?” Matt asked me. I looked at him, taken aback.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Do you have feelings for Jace?” He repeated.  
  
“Not the way that you’re thinking, no.” I told him.  
  
“But he has feelings for you.”  
  
“I’ve made it very clear to him that his feelings are not mutual.” I told Matt.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked.  
  
“I didn’t want to create unnecessary tension.” I told him.  
  
“Has he… tried anything?” He asked, visually getting angrier. I’ve never really seen Matt mad before. Gotta say, definitely not a fan.  
  
“He kissed me before we really got together. I shut him down. What’s this about, Matt?” I asked him.  
  
“I’m not clueless. I see the way he looks at you. It’s the same way I look at you. You’re so close and you’ve known him for so long. If I’m not the guy you want, tell me now.” He looked at me dead in the eyes.  
  
“Are you fucking serious right now?” I snapped, losing my cool. “If you weren’t what I wanted why would I go through all of this for you?! For us to have a shot being together?! I’ve never defied Eric like that. Do you know what it’s like to go through what I went through?! I told you that if we didn’t take some time away from each other that it would just get worse for both of us. I told you that if you wanted to do this that I was willing to go through it so we could try and make whatever we have into something more. Do you know what he did to me for it?! Do you?!” I yelled. He looked down in shame.  
  
“Angela, I didn’t mean it like that. You spend nights in the man’s bed. What am I supposed to think? You practically live at his house. His mother loves you. He’s the first person you go running to when something happens.”  
  
“I expect you to trust me. I’ve never given you a reason not to. If you don’t want to be in my life, quit wasting my time.” I hissed. He sighed and grabbed my arms and pushed me against the front door.  
  
“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you.” He whispered. I can feel his hot breath dance across my skin. “Don’t run away from this. I’m not going to let you.” He kissed me and pulled away. “I know what you told me the other day. I’m not just going to walk away because of Eric. He’s done enough. He’s not going to touch you.”  
  
“You can’t stop him. Don’t you dare make promises that you can’t keep. I can handle myself. I’ve been doing fine.” I told him. My eyes and nose are burning.  
  
“You almost died.” He whispered. I didn’t say anything.  
  
“You can’t be involved.” I told him.  
  
“It’s not your decision.”  
  
“Yes, it is.” I argued.  
  
“Do you want me?” He asked.  
  
“Yes,” I breathed before I could stop myself.  
  
“Then I’m not leaving you. I care about you.” He kissed my neck. I tried my best to hide myself so we couldn’t be watched as easily. “I’m falling for you.”  
  
“Don’t say that.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because it’ll be that much harder to lose you.” I felt tears slip down my face.  
  
“You won’t.”  
  
“He’ll kill me before he lets me go with another man. You don’t know how possessive he is.”  
  
“Angela,” he started. I cut him off.  
  
“He. Will. Kill. Me.” I told him, shaking.  
  
“It’ll be the last thing I’ll ever do.” He swore, crushing my lips with his. He picked me up and carried me inside, and into my room. We fell onto the bed and things didn’t slow down. Our mouths were fused together. I pulled off his shirt and hugged him to me. He pulled away enough to pull of my jacket and shirt. His hands ran down my sides while we kissed. I need to feel him against me right now. I need to feel something.  
  
He moved on top and got more aggressive. His fingers intertwined in my hair, holding me to him. I clutched his back with my good arm. He unbuttoned my pants and I froze. I pulled away from him and got off of the bed, shaking my head.  
  
“I can’t do this. It’s too fast. I can’t.” I told him, shaking my head. Eric forcing down my panties keeps flashing in my head. “I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry. No.” I told him, pulling my knees to my chest, wincing. “I can’t.”  
  
“It’s my fault. I got carried away. It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything.” He told me. He fixed his pants, trying to hide his obvious arousal.  
  
I can’t stop shaking. I feel like I’m somewhere else, watching this happen. I just wanna be safe. I wanna be normal. I felt teardrops hit my legs. I didn’t even realize I was crying. Somewhere along the way Matt left the room. I can hear voices but I can’t make out what they’re saying. I’m frozen. Numb.


	37. Sharing Secrets

Chapter Thirty-Three:  
  
  
  
  
**Matt’s POV**  
  
Fuck. What did I just do? I can’t lose control like that. She’s so different than anyone I’ve ever been with. I’ve never gone this slow with anyone. She turns me on without even trying. I wanted her so badly. I shouldn’t have let things get that far.  
  
I looked for Gwen. Her car’s in the driveway. Where is she?  
  
“Gwen!” I yelled. She came running into the living room.  
  
“Matt, what’s wrong?” She asked.  
  
“Angela, I-I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think she wants to be touched right now.” I tried to explain it.  
  
“What did you do?” She went into protective mode instantly.  
  
“We made out and she took off my shirt. I took off hers and I unbuttoned her jeans. I swear, that’s all that happened. She just stopped and pulled away. She keeps apologizing. She’s rocking on her bed, crying. What do I do? I didn’t mean to.” I apologized. She looked panicked.  
  
“It’s not your fault. She can’t move at the same pace other women can. She’s been through a lot.” She told me.  
  
“I know. I fucked up.” I told her. “How do I fix it?” I asked her.  
  
“Let me go talk to her. You may want to invite Brian inside. Don’t make him sit out in the car forever. It’s bad manners.” She lectured. I nodded and watched her go upstairs. I waited by the foot of the stairs until Gwen came out of Angela’s room. It felt like I stood there for hours. “She’s okay. She’s going to take some medicine and I’m going to help her shower. Why don’t you and Brian help yourself to something from the kitchen? Jace’ll be here soon. He can keep you company for a little while.” She told me. I nodded.  
  
“Okay. Thank you.” I forced my legs to move. I went outside and got Jace. “Hey, Gwen wants us to hang out here a bit.” I told him. He nodded. “She said we could raid the kitchen.” I told him. His face lit up. As soon as I closed to the front door he beckoned me into the kitchen.  
  
“Tell me what’s going on with Angela.” He demanded.  
  
“I can’t, bro.”  
  
“Bullshit. Something’s going on with her. Everyone in the band can see it. Jimmy said something yesterday. Don’t lie to me, Matt.” He pushed. I shook my head.  
  
“It’s not my secret to tell.”  
  
“Just tell me that I’m wrong. There’s no way all of that is from a fall. I know you. You’re my brother. You wouldn’t put hands on her. Jace is my boy. I see how he is with her. He would kill anyone who hurt her. It’s her stepdad, isn’t it?” He asked. I didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought. We won’t look at her any differently because of it.” He told me.  
  
“It’s not about me. It’s not my life to tell you about, Brian. If you want to know something, maybe you should ask _her_.” I told him.  
  
“I’m asking you.”  
  
“Maybe you should ask me.” Jace told him, coming into the kitchen. “Where’s Angela?” He asked.  
  
“Upstairs with your mom.” I told him.  
  
“If you hurt her, I don’t care how she feels about you, you’re dead. Do you understand? You’re not going to pressure her into anything she’s not ready for.” Jace got in my face. I deserve it but that doesn’t mean I’m going to take it laying down. I pushed him away from me.  
  
“I would never hurt her.” I told him. He smirked.  
  
“So she did that to herself?” He asked.  
  
“I didn’t know.” I told him.  
  
“Then maybe you should find out how to treat her.” He spat, running upstairs.  
  
“Man, tell me what’s going on.” Brian asked, again.  
  
“I’ll tell you what you want to know if she’s okay with it.” I told him. He nodded.

* * *

  
**Angela’s POV**  
  
I finally felt warm in the shower. Gwen was half in the shower with me, helping me stand up. I sighed. The anti-depressants and the anxiety medicine are helping me calm down. Matt must think I’m a giant head-case. He deserves someone normal.  
  
I turned off the water and accepted the towel from Gwen. I wrapped it around my body and pulled on my robe. Jace busted through the door.  
  
“Are you okay? What did he do?” He demanded.  
  
“I’m fine. It wasn’t his fault. Calm down.” I told him. He clamped his mouth shut.  
  
“The boy made an honest mistake, Jace.” Gwen told him. He sighed.  
  
“But you’re okay?” He asked. I nodded. “Good.” He kissed my forehead and left the room.  
  
“Are you okay?” Gwen asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I wanted it. I mean, I know I did. He didn’t pressure me into anything. But, it’s like my mind sabotages me. I just kept picturing…” I tried to tell her.  
  
“I know, baby. It’s okay.” She told me, hugging me. “Let’s get you dressed.” She told me. I followed her out of the bathroom and threw on some loose pajamas and left my hair down. We went downstairs together. Time to face to music.  
  
“Hey,” Matt came over to me and hugged me, softly.  
  
“Hey, yourself. Sorry about earlier.” I told him. He shook his head.  
  
“I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He countered.  
  
“It’s okay, Matt.” I promised him.  
  
“I’m ordering pizza.” Gwen announced, leaving the room. Brian followed her making food requests.  
  
“Does Brian know?” I asked him.  
  
“He pretty much guessed what was going on but I didn’t tell him anything.” He told me.  
  
“It’s okay. He probably would have found out sometime. Just, don’t tell anyone else.” I told him.  
  
“You’re okay with him knowing?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“Well, it’s not like he can un-know something. It’s fine.”  
  
“You’re beautiful.” He kissed my cheek. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Not.”  
  
“You are. I think you should go talk to Jace. I can wait.” He told me.  
  
“You’re telling me to talk to him?”  
  
“I trust you.”  
  
“Good.”


	38. Curve-balls and Conversations

Chapter Thirty-Four:

  
  
“Hey,” I walked up to Jace. He nodded.  
  
“Are you really okay? Or did you just want me to cool it before I kicked someone’s ass?” He asked me.  
  
“I’m as okay as I ever am, Jay. I feel like I’m stuck.” I told him. He sat down in the computer room. I shut the door so we could talk without being overheard. “I made the mistake of thinking that I could just drop everything once Eric is back. I was naïve to think it would be that easy. I mean, that’s the way that makes the most sense, but he’s not just going to walk away from this.”  
  
“Gel, you can’t control what anyone else does. You know that. If he doesn’t walk away, that’s on him. But, he cares about you as much as he says he does, he’ll give you space when you ask for it. If he’s the reason you get the shit beat out of you, then we’re going to have a bigger problem than Eric. He can get over himself.” Jace fumed.  
  
“You make him sound so much worse than he is.” I defended Matt.  
  
“Angela, babe, get real with me. It’s not like you haven’t thought about it either. He beat the crap out of you last time. And that’s because he was jealous of Matt. What’s he going to do when he finds out you’re still with him?”  
  
“So I should just let him dictate every second of my life?”  
  
“No! But you need to do whatever necessary to get out of this alive! I can’t lose you! Do you hear me?! I’m not going to watch you die for him!” He yelled.  
  
“I’m not going to let him kill me.”  
  
“How are you so sure? Because you’ve been so successful stopping him so far?” He asked. I was trembling again.  
  
“I don’t have my head in the sand, Jay. I know that I have to take a step back, but I don’t know if he’s going to. Like you said, I can’t control what everyone else does. Which is it? You don’t like him. Just say it.”  
  
“I don’t have to like him.”  
  
“You’re not even giving him a chance and we both know why.” I told him.  
  
“He doesn’t put your well-being first. I don’t need any other reason than that.” Jace told me. This conversation is over. It won’t matter if I say anything else to him. He won’t hear me because he’s already made up his mind.  
  
“I can’t be fighting with both of you, Jay. Don’t pretend that all of this is about my well-being. Maybe you can explain things to him about Eric because I don’t think he’s getting where I’m coming from. And you’re going to have to accept that we’re together. I know that you’ve said that you have but you still act like my jealous ex around him.”  
  
“I’m in love with you, Angela. How would you like me to behave?” He asked, getting uncomfortably close to me. I didn’t say anything. “Do you want to know that it kills me when I have to see the two of you together? Or that I’d like you to wake up one morning and realize I’m the better choice for you? Or that we both know that you feel something for me but you’re choosing not to act on it because the thought of losing me kills you?” He asked me.  
  
“My feelings aren’t as strong as yours are and of course I don’t want to lose you. I like having you in my life. You know that I love you but I’m not in love with you.”  
  
“Or you’re just afraid to admit it to yourself.” He brushed hair out of my face.  
  
“Don’t do this, please.”  
  
“What? Do you love Matt?” He asked me.  
  
“I-I don’t know. I care about him.”  
  
“Is it love?”  
  
“I’m falling for him, Jay.” I told him.  
  
“Fine. I’ll be here when you realize he isn’t the guy for you. And, I’ll talk to him. I’ll make more of an effort to not be an ass while he’s around.” Jace promised. I nodded.  
  
“Thank you.” I told him. He leaned in and hugged me. He kissed my forehead and pulled away. And the complications keep piling on.  
  


* * *

  
  
Jace and Matt talked upstairs. Gwen left to go pick up the pizza. I kept Brian company while he flipped through cable channels. He kept shooting me sympathetic looks. Those are the worse. That’s exactly why I didn’t want people to know.  
  
“I’m sorry about everything.” He blurted out. I laughed.  
  
“You didn’t do anything to me. You shouldn’t be sorry.” I told him.  
  
“Yeah, but –”  
  
“But nothing. You didn’t do anything. Life sucks. That’s just life. It’s not your problem.” I told him.  
  
“Matt’s trying. He doesn’t stand for abusive men, especially after his dad.” Brian explained.  
  
“I know, but if he doesn’t back off for awhile, I could die. I don’t think he sees it the way I do.” I confessed. Brian didn’t say anything.  
  
“Give it time.”  
  
“I don’t have time. It’s okay. I’ll figure something out. Always do.” I forced a smile.  
  


* * *

  
  
**Jace’s POV**  
  
I hate that she chose him instead of me. I can’t change her mind. God knows I’ve tried. All I can do now is be there for her and hope shit doesn’t hit the fan.  
  
“She’s not trying to break up with you, man. She’s trying to stay safe. She just needs you to take the back burner for a minute while her father comes up with something to get her out of that house. It’s not that hard to understand.”  
  
“It feels like she’s running.”  
  
“You have to trust her.”  
  
“It’s not that simple.”  
  
“Yeah, it is. If you can’t do that, you don’t need to be a part of her life. She doesn’t need to be worrying about you, too. Not on top of everything else she has going on.” I told him. That shut him up.  
  
“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”  
  
“Then prove it. Step up and give her what she needs.”  
  
“What about you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed. She’s not single anymore. You can’t just worm your way in while I’m out of the picture.” He told me. I smirked.  
  
“If she wanted me, you would have never been in the picture. She knows where I stand. If that changes, it’ll be up to her. I told her I would back off and I will.”  
  
“Then we understand each other?” He asked.  
  
“As long as you understand that if you get her killed, you’re dead. That’s not a threat. That’s a promise.”  
  
“Okay.” He agreed. We headed back downstairs. Angela’s talking with Brian. Matt stopped just out of sight of the living room.  
  
“Matt’s trying. He doesn’t stand for abusive men, especially after his dad.” Brian told Angela. She sighed.  
  
“I know, but if he doesn’t back off for awhile, I could die. I don’t think he sees it the way I do.” She told him.  
  
“Give it time.” He tried to comfort her.  
  
“I don’t have time. It’s okay. I’ll figure something out. Always do.” She whispered.  
  
Matt froze. I think what Gel was trying to tell him finally sank in.  
  


* * *

  
**Angela’s POV**  
  
I looked over and saw Matt and Jace staring at us. How much did they hear? Well, the damage is done. Brian scooted over and gave me a one-armed hug.  
  
“Thanks.” I told him.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“Being yourself.” I told him. I think we’re going to be better friends than I thought we would be.  
  
“No thanks required. You’re one of us now… One of the dudes.” He smiled.  
  
“I’m a dude?”  
  
“A hot dude?” He offered. I chuckled.  
  
“You should come over more often. You keep things light.”  
  
“As long as there’s food.”  
  
“Gwen should be back with the pizza soon.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“You’re not a dude. Maybe like a slightly younger, way shorter, sister.” He decided.  
  
“I can live with that.” I told him. Jace and Matt finally came in.  
  
“Room for two more?” Matt asked. I nodded.  
  
“Yeah, sure.” I told them both. We ended up on a bunch of blankets on the floor with all the pillows we could find. We were watching Hellboy. That started a mass discussion about powers we wanted and why. We didn’t even hear Gwen come back. She walked in with the pizza and some plates.  
  
We were digging in when my phone started going off. I answered it.  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“How is my darling daughter?” Eric asked.  
  
“What do you want?”  
  
“To let you know that I’ll be back in two days.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Two days, _Angel_. Aren’t you excited to see me?” He asked.  
  
“When?”  
  
“Monday night around 7. I’ll be home around 8 p.m. I expect you to be there. Oh, and bring your little friend. I think it’s time I have a little talk with Matthew.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“So many questions. I’ll see you Monday. Bye _Angel_.” He hung up. Well, so much for freedom.


	39. Stress Relief

Chapter Thirty-Five:

  
  
“He’s coming back on Monday. He’ll be here Monday night.” I repeated. Everyone looked at me like I had grown horns.  
  
“Who’s coming back?” Brian asked through a mouthful of pizza.  
  
“Eric.” I told him. It’s so soon. He made it sound like he’d be gone a lot longer than he was. The heck?  
  
“Wait, so –” Matt started.  
  
“Monday is our last day together for a while.” I interrupted him. He gave me _the_ look. I didn’t say anything else. I’m surprised but at the same time, I shouldn’t be. I wanna cry. “I’m gonna go lay down. I’m beat.” I excused myself. I don’t want to lose it in front of everyone and my body is really starting to ache. I made it to my room and popped some pain killers.  
  
I’ve worked so hard to fight him and for what? I’ve got nothing to show for it. Regardless if I resist he still gets what he wants in the end. He wants sex – he rips off my clothes and takes it from me. He wants me to stay single – he tries to beat me into submission. I just want to be happy.  
  
“Hey, want some company?” Matt asked from the doorway. I looked over and nodded. “Baby, I’m sorry about earlier. When you were talking with Brian it made everything click for me. I’ll back off while he’s around but if you need me or need anything, I’m there. I’m not afraid of him. The only thing that scares me is what he could do to you.” He laid down next to me.  
  
“How do you always know what to say?” I asked him. He shrugged.  
  
“I know you’re tired but you should eat something. I snagged some pizza before Brian scarfed it all. I put it in the fridge for you.” He held me. I nodded.  
  
“I’m not ready to get up yet. I just wanna stay like this for awhile.” I whispered.  
  
“We can do anything you want.” He told me.  
  
“Anything?” I asked. He nodded. I leaned up and captured his lips with mine. As soon as our lips touched I felt that intense need to feel his skin on mine, again. I just need to feel like he’s there. Things quickly escalated into something hotter. I lost my pants and my pajama top, and was left only in a tank top and panties. Matt was left in jeans and his underwear. He let me take control of things. It’s something I’m not used to.  
  
I sucked on his neck and traced his abs with my fingers. He gasped and rolled is hips against me. I moaned. The friction between us felt so good. Matt sat up and started trailing kisses from my collarbone to my ear.  
  
“We don’t have to do this.” He told me.  
  
“I want to.” I breathed. He gripped my hips and squirmed against him. He bucked against me. I gripped his shoulders and looked at him as we moved against each other.  
  
I know I’ve done things but this feels more intimate than anything I’ve ever done before. I feel so close to him. He leaned in and pulled me into a kiss. I molded my face with his. We barely came up for air as our tongues danced.  
  
He moved me onto my back and moved a hand underneath my shirt. He fondled my chest, carefully avoiding my ribs. I gasped.  
  
“Stop me if things go too far.” He whispered.  
  
“I will.” I promised. He moved his hand out of my shirt and slipped it into my panties. I held still. This is Matt. It’s okay. It’s just Matt. He wouldn’t hurt me. I can do this. I want to this. I just want to be normal. God, I want this.  
  
He pulled my underwear down and cupped my heat and watched my reaction. I pulled him down for a kiss. He started rubbing my sensitive nub. I groaned into his mouth. The kiss deepened. His moved a finger to my core and slipped it inside. I gasped. He started moving it softly. Everything feels completely different with him. He makes everything feel like my first time.  
  
He moved his hand faster. I moaned. He used his thumb to massage my clit. I detached my face from his for air. I felt the pressure start to build and I clutched Matt’s back. My back arched and I couldn’t breathe. My moved his mouth to mine to muffle my sounds. My eyes slammed shut and I held onto him as I rode out my high.  
  
He didn’t move his hand until I finished and lay spent underneath of him. He kissed me softly and smiled.  
  
“How are you feeling?” He asked me.  
  
“Pretty good – thank you.” I told him.  
  
“Did we go too fast?”  
  
“No, I wanted it. I was ready. I’m not really ready for much else. I’m sorry.” I looked away from him, apologizing.  
  
“Don’t be sorry about that. When you are ready, I’ll be here.” He promised. I nodded. I wrapped a blanket around myself and walked to the bathroom to clean myself up. I threw my hair in a ponytail and grabbed clean undergarments before meeting Matt in the bedroom. He got cleaned up and laid next to me.  
  
“Do you need… anything?” I asked him.  
  
“I’m good.” He told me.  
  
“I’m sorry I can’t… Ya know… for you.” I told him, gesturing to his manhood. He chuckled.  
  
“Don’t. I didn’t expect anything. It’s okay.” He assured me. “Let’s get you something to eat before they get suspicious.” He helped me up. I was definitely feeling loopy now. The pills have kicked in. “And if you’re still feeling _helpful_ later, you can always kiss me while I help myself.” He winked. I chuckled, rolling my eyes.  
  
“We’ll see.”  
  
“No pressure.”


	40. Broken Hearts

Chapter Thirty-Six:

  
  
I woke up to my blankets being pulled off of me. I blinked and looked around. Matt was trying to sneak out of bed without waking me. I smiled.  
  
“What time is it?” I asked him.  
  
“It’s too early for you to be awake.” He told me, pulling on his boots. I made a face.  
  
“Where are you going?”  
  
“I’ve gotta run. My sister has a choir performance today and my mom’s stuck at work. I don’t know if I’ll be able to see you later. It depends on… things.” He explained.  
  
“Are you giving me the cold shoulder on purpose?” I asked him. He didn’t say anything just stood up.  
  
“I don’t have time to talk. I’ve got to go.”  
  
“Don’t be that guy.”  
  
“What the guy?”  
  
“The guy that gets in my pants and bolts because things get hard.” I sat up.  
  
“I didn’t get into your pants. We never had sex.” His face was grim.  
  
“What changed from last night?” I asked him.  
  
“Nothing.”  
  
“Did Eric do something?” I asked him.  
  
“Look, it doesn’t matter. I’m gonna go. I’ll see you… at school.” He grabbed his jacket and headed for my bedroom door.  
  
“If you don’t want to be a part of this, just tell me.” I looked up at him. How could he?  
  
“Things are complicated right now. I think it’d be better if we had some space for awhile.”  
  
“You’re breaking up with me.” I clarified. He sighed.  
  
“I’ll be around if you need anything but I can’t be there like that for you right now.”  
  
“Is this because I wanted to cool things while Eric was around?”  
  
“It’s part of it. I just can’t be the man you need me to be right now. Thanks for hooking me up with your dad. I’ll be busy with music and school. And I just can’t have the extra drama in my life right now.”  
  
“Is that it?” I asked. My heart feels like it’s shattered. He told me to trust him. He told me I could trust him. He just wanted something from me like everyone else.  
  
“Yeah, that’s it.”  
  
“Last night was a mistake. I’m so stupid.” I can’t cry in front of him. He reached over for me and I pulled out of his grip. I got out of bed and pushed him out of my room. “Get out! I don’t want you here. You’re not welcome in my life anymore. You got what you wanted. Just leave.” I told him. He smirked.  
  
“Works for me. Maybe I’ll find someone who will put out.” He sneered.  
  
“Get out!” I yelled. He turned on his heel and bolted for the front door. I sank to the floor. Jace came out of his room to see what the ruckus was. I’m recovered from worse things before. I can make it again. Eric had to have done something. Matt’s never been that cold. Even so, the things he said cut so deep. I couldn’t stop the tears.  
  
“I’ll kill him.” Jace growled, putting his arms around me.  
  
“Don’t bother. He’s not dating me anymore. You got what you wanted.” I told him. He stiffened.  
  
“I didn’t want you to get hurt. That’s the last thing I’d ever want. I love you, Gel.” He whispered.  
  
“I love you, too.” I told him. He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, and hovered over my mouth before placing his lips on mine. I didn’t push him away. I don’t want him to be a rebound and I don’t know what I want right now. I pulled away. “Don’t. I’m not ready. It’ll just make things so much more complicated.” I told him. He gave me a sad smile.  
  
“When you are ready, I’m here.” He brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. “Go shower. We’ll have a movie day. I’ll let mom know what happened.”  
  
I nodded and pushed myself off of the floor. I walked back into my room and into the bathroom. I stripped out of my pajamas and covered my cast before turning on the water before stepping into the shower. It’s freezing but I don’t really feel it. I feel numb. I stood there for a minute before sobs raked my chest and I started hitting the wall. I couldn’t move for what felt like hours. I switched the water to hot and watched my skin turn red. I lost track of time. I turned off the water when it started to run cold.  
  
I dried off and threw my hair up. I pulled on lazy clothes and headed downstairs. Gwen pulled me into a hug when she saw me. Seeing her look of pity was enough to make the tears start again. She held me until I was spent. She didn’t say anything just pointed to the couch and handed me a bowl of ice cream. She gave Jace _the_ look and he followed her out of the room. I can hear their voices but I can’t make out what they’re saying.  
  
Halfway through my bowl he returned. He sat next to me and put his arm around me. Gwen looked pissed off but didn’t say anything. Jace turned on a movie and snuggled up with me.

* * *

  
**Matt’s POV**  
  
I pulled out my phone as I got my car and dialed Brian’s number.  
  
“Dude, this better be a fucking emergency. It’s early as fuck.” He grumbled.  
  
“I broke up with Angela.” I told him. I can’t undo what I did but I would do anything to take it back. I know I hurt her. I had to.  
  
“What the fuck man? Are you serious?”  
  
“Yeah. I can’t let her get hurt because of me, bro.”  
  
“Matt, do you hear yourself? You know that she’s crushed right now.”  
  
“Yeah, but at least she’ll be safer when her stepdad gets back tomorrow.”  
  
“He’s coming back tomorrow?”  
  
“Tomorrow.” I echoed.  
  
“Do you need anything, man?” He asked.  
  
“I need to get wasted.” I told him.  
  
“Meet me at my place.”  
  
“Thanks Brian.” I hung up. I hate myself for being that guy and making her feel like that girl. I pushed her right into Jace’s arms. I can’t stand to picture them together. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get her back.  
  


* * *

  
**Angela’s POV**  
  
We blew through my favorite movies and most of the Tim Burton films I owned. We’re watching **_Edward Scissorhands_** at the moment. I started to fall asleep on Jace’s shoulder. He put his arms around me.

* * *

  
  
“Gel, wake up. We should get to bed.” He helped me off the couch. I frowned.  
  
“I don’t want to stay alone tonight.” I told him.  
  
“I don’t know. You didn’t wanna push things.” He reminded me.  
  
“I know, but I don’t want to be alone. I’ll be alone tomorrow.” I told him. He sighed.  
  
“Alright. Let’s stay in my room.”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Don’t mention it.” He smiled and led me upstairs. It feels different than before. Maybe it’s because all of our cards are out there and I’m single again. I don’t know. I laid down and got comfortable. He followed suit and wrapped his arms around me. “Do you want me to be there tomorrow?” He asked me. I shook my head.  
  
“I’ll be okay. Matt was supposed to go but I didn’t get a chance to tell him before he decided to be a guy.”  
  
“Okay. If you change your mind…”  
  
“I know, thanks. I’m tired.” I told him.  
  
“Goodnight.” He whispered. He leaned in and hesitated over my mouth. “Is this okay?” He asked.  
  
“Yeah. Just this once.” I warned. He leaned in and molded our mouths together. I swear; I felt it in my toes. I pulled away, surprised. It’s more than I thought I would feel but he’s not Matt.  
  
“Goodnight.” I closed my eyes and wanted to forget that tomorrow is coming.


	41. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets pretty graphic. Just a head's up for everyone.

Chapter Thirty-Seven:

  
  
  
I woke up before Jace and got a head-start getting ready. I took my time in the shower and even more time getting ready. I placed foundation carefully on my face, trying to cover up my pink, puffy eyes. I don’t want Matt to know how much he hurt me. I’m giving him the satisfaction in knowing.  
  
I put on my favorite pair of jeans with hot pink Vans and a black undershirt under a hot pink tank top with a giant skull printed on the front. I kept my make-up simple but played up the eyes. I left my hair down. I grabbed my school things and went downstairs.  
  
Gwen was waiting for me. She was eating yogurt when she looked up at me. She gestured to the seat next to her with untouched breakfast in front of it. I took the seat and picked up a spoon.  
  
“How ya doin’, baby?” She asked. I shrugged.  
  
“I’ve been better. I’ve been worse.” I shoveled a mouthful of yogurt into my mouth.  
  
“I know. And I also know you’re close with my son, and you care about him, but don’t let him pressure you into something you’re not sure about. I know how he is. He hasn’t kept it a secret that he’s infatuated with you.” She revealed. I nodded.  
  
“I just don’t know much of anything right now. I’m just trying to make it through the day, to be honest.” I leveled with her.  
  
“Don’t let him push you into anything you don’t want.” She repeated.  
  
“Okay. I won’t.” I told her. Jeez. It’s going to be a long day. Jace came down the stairs and eyed us eating. He smiled and bee-lined for me. He kissed my cheek before stealing my bowl and finishing my food.  
  
“Jace, really?” Gwen scolded. He just chuckled.  
  
“Oh, come on. Gel doesn’t mind. Do you?” He asked.  
  
“No, I was finished anyway. I don’t have much of an appetite.” I told her. She looks sad. “I’ll try and stop by tomorrow.” I promised.  
  
“At least call us and let us know that you’re alright. Jace’ll pick you up tomorrow morning for school, since you can’t drive. Just keep us posted. I worry about you, Angela.” She hugged me.  
  
“I know. I’ll be careful. I always am.” I told her. “Let’s go, Jay.” I hit his arm with my good one. We headed out. I took one last look around the house. I’ve got a bad feeling that it’s the last time that I’ll see it for awhile. I have an awful feeling about tonight and an even worse feeling about what Eric is going to do with me.  
  
We didn’t talk at all on the way to school. It was an uncomfortable silence. I was too distraught to really focus on much of anything. I just really hope that Jared and Gwen come through with the lawyers. I know their hands are tied until something else happens. I’ve never reported him. That’s probably part of the problem. If Jared could keep me safe after I went to the police, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ll have to call him and let him know during lunch.  
  
“Are you ready?” Jace asked me as he parked the car. I nodded. I got out of the car and shut the door behind me. He offered me his hand. “Moral support?” He suggested.  
  
“Why not?” I shrugged. I accepted his hand and we braved the halls together. We got a few stares but I tried my best to ignore him. We made it to my locker without incident. I was almost to first period when I saw him. Matt was talking with Brian. When he saw me, his face fell. He stopped in front of me. He looked from me to Jace and then our hands. I kept my poker face on.  
  
“You didn’t waste any time.” He said to both of us.  
  
“We’re not together. He’s just being there for me. He’s being a good friend and if it turns into something else, it’s not your problem. Not anymore.” I clarified. Matt nodded.  
  
“You’re right. You’re not my problem anymore. You can do whatever with whomever.” He told me.  
  
“Don’t act like you care. Don’t have somewhere to be? Some other ex-girlfriend to terrorize? I can’t deal with this today. I can’t deal with you. I have enough assholes in my life as it is.” I looked him in the eye. He kept his poker face on, too.  
  
“Then I won’t waste anymore of your time. I don’t want any prudes in mine.” He smirked and walked away. Brian hung back.  
  
“I’ll keep her company, bro. Don’t want you to be late.” Brian offered.  
  
“Thanks man.” Jace hugged me and tilted my face up to his. “I’ll see you at lunch. Text me if you need anything.”  
  
“Okay.” I agreed. He smiled and gave me a quick kiss. I still don’t know how I feel about that.  
  
“Stop that.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“That’s the last time.” He swore, walking away. I sighed.  
  
“How are you holding up?” Brian asked me.  
  
“Are you asking as my friend or Matt’s?” I asked him.  
  
“Yours.” He told me, leading the way into our classroom.  
  
“I’ve been better. I feel blindsided. I feel pissed off and let down. Mostly, I feel like crap. And tonight is wigging me out.” I confessed.  
  
“I know you have a guy friend already, but I’m a good listener. And I dig your writing. If you ever want to write with company or just sit in the same room as someone, I’m around.” He told me. I smiled.  
  
“Thanks. You’re a doll.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“A manly doll,” he chirped.  
  
“Of course.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Once I got to my lunch table I pulled out my phone. I dialed Jared’s number.  
  
“Hey baby girl, what’s up?” He answered.  
  
“How far along are you with your lawyers?” I asked him.  
  
“I think they’re finally on to something.” I told me.  
  
“Eric comes home tonight, Jared.”  
  
“I thought you had another week.”  
  
“It’s tonight.” I tried to keep my voice from cracking. I’m freaking out.  
  
“Relax baby, relax.”  
  
“Could you protect me if I reported him after he assaulted me?” I asked him.  
  
“If he touches you and there is physical damage and you’re willing to go to the police, I will be there. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, baby. But, I don’t have custody of you. He’s your legal guardian. With physical evidence that he hurt you, it may be enough to persuade a judge to grant me temporary custody, at least. Right now, it’s looking like our best shot. I’ll be in town tonight with some back-up. If he hurts you, I will be there. You just have to call. If I don’t hear from you by tomorrow morning, I’m going to the police.”  
  
“Okay. Okay. Yeah. I can do that. I’m willing to do that. It means a lot that you’ll be there. I’ve got to go. It’s lunch and I’m gonna try and eat something. I’ll call you later if I can. Just, stay close?”  
  
“I will, baby girl. See you soon.”  
  
“Bye.” I hung up. I pulled out my notebook. I started to write. The emotions came and went and everything got put onto paper. I just need to get it out.  
  
“Don’t you ever eat?” Cody asked, coming up from behind me. I shrugged.  
  
“Of course I eat. What kind of a question is that?”  
  
“Every time I see you at lunch you’re either drawing or writing something.” He pointed out.  
  
“I eat lunch sometimes. Normally, it’s just breakfast and dinner.” I told him. I guess it’s something I’ve never noticed before.  
  
“Weird. You look good, though. You look more than good, actually.” He smiled. I shut my notebook.  
  
“Thanks, but what do you want? I’m still not interested.” I told him.  
  
“I heard you have an opening for a man in your life.”  
  
“I don’t need a man in my life, Cody.” I told him. He smirked.  
  
“I can change your mind.” He smiled.  
  
“I doubt that. It’s nothing against you, but I’m not looking for anything right now.”  
  
“Oh, I get it. You’re a lesbian.” His smirk grew.  
  
“I’m not a lesbian. And even if I were, I still wouldn’t be into you.”  
  
“At least I could watch.”  
  
“In your dreams.”  
  
“Not over Matt? I heard Shadows did a real number on you.” He put an arm around my shoulder.  
  
“He wasn’t what I was looking for. He did me a favor.”  
  
“Maybe you should consider other options, like me.” He suggested.  
  
“Not today, Cody.” I told him.  
  
“Aren’t you tired of trying to get everyone’s leftover’s Anderson?” Matt asked Cody. He shrugged. I looked over at Matt.  
  
“Not when the leftovers are as fine as yours are. You’re a fool to break up with her.” Cody said, looking me over.  
  
“I’m right here and I can speak for myself. I don’t need your help.” I told Matt. He didn’t budge just glared at me.  
  
“Back off, Cody.” He told him.  
  
“Or what?” Cody asked, getting in Matt’s face.  
  
“Or I’ll make you.” Matt told him, pushing him backwards. I sighed and got up.  
  
“Screw this. Too much testosterone.” I left the eating area and headed to the library. So far, today’s been anything but smooth. I don’t understand why Matt rushed to my defense. It’s not like he cares. He’s made that perfectly clear.

* * *

  
  
Jace dropped me off at Eric’s house right at 8. Eric’s car is in the driveway. He must already be home. I took a deep breath and hurried inside. No reason to prolong anything. I opened the front door and saw him sitting on the couch. He smiled and stood up.  
  
“_Angel,_ you’re right on time. Where’s your lover?” He asked me.  
  
“I know you wanted me to bring him. I’m sorry. He broke up with me yesterday. I didn’t think you’d still want him here.”  
  
“Smart kid. Did he say why?” He asked me.  
  
“I’m too much drama. He doesn’t want a girl who won’t put out.” I told him.  
  
“He talked to you that way?” Eric’s nostrils flared.  
  
“It’s not a big deal. He’s not a part of my life anymore. He’s not worth it.” I lied on the last part, but Eric didn’t seem to notice.  
  
“You’re all mine.” He grinned. He came over to hug me. He squeezed too tightly. I whimpered. “Did I hurt you?” He asked. I nodded. “You’ll learn to like it.”  
  
“Not likely.” I told him.  
  
“I brought you something. I think you’ll like it better than your last gift.” He took my hand and led me to his bedroom. He handed me a box. “Open it.” He’s so excited. I lifted the lid and pulled out a long, beautiful, white, lace nightgown. “Put it on.” He beamed. I hesitated. “Unless you want me to do it for you?” He offered.  
  
“I can do it.” I told him. I struggled out of my clothes but finally got them off. I slipped on the nightgown and turned around to face him.  
  
“You look just as beautiful as I imagined. You look so pure and innocent. You look like an angel.” He pulled me to him, in front of his bedroom mirror. It’s a sleeveless nightgown. His arms are around me. If we were anyone else, we’d look like a couple. He almost looks loving. “It’s so fitting that you’re in white for my homecoming. We reminisce the day I took your virginity.” He whispered. I didn’t say anything. “I can make it enjoyable for you.” He promised.  
  
“I don’t want that.”  
  
“You don’t want to enjoy it?”  
  
“I don’t want to have sex with you. I don’t want you to hurt me. I’m tired of being afraid every day. I don’t want to be afraid to live my life.” I told him. His smile slid from my face.  
  
“Are you denying me?” He asked.  
  
“Yes, I am. I’m not yours.” I reminded him. He smirked.  
  
“There’s that fight I crave.” He smirked. He took off his jacket and his tie. He held his tie tightly in his hand. He unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt. I gulped. He whipped his hand back and popped me across the face. I didn’t even have time to brace for it. I never saw it coming. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked. I cried out. “You bring out the beast in me, Angela. Do you know that?”  
  
“I think you bring that out in yourself.” I told him. He chuckled.  
  
“How far did you get with that boy before he dumped you?” He growled.  
  
“Not far.” I told him.  
  
“Don’t lie to me.” He hissed.  
  
“I’m not lying.”  
  
“Where did you let him touch you?” He asked. His hands slid down my sides and up to my crotch. “Did you let him touch you here?” He asked. I kept my mouth closed. “Answer me!” He roared. He spun me around and punched me in my gut. I started coughing. Oh, God. I can’t breathe. “Where did he touch you?!” He yelled.  
  
“He touched me there.” I whimpered. He let me go and I fell to my knees. My injured arm broke my fall. I hit it the wrong way.  
  
“With what? His mouth? His hands? Did you let him fuck you? Did you whore yourself out to him?!” He screamed.  
  
“His fingers. That’s it. I swear.” I told him.  
  
“Why should I believe a lying bitch like you? Don’t you know that you’re supposed to be faithful to your man?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. “Put your arms around me.” He commanded.  
  
“No. And you’re not my man.” I refused.  
  
“Do it!” He yelled in my face. I put my hands on his shoulders. He smiled. “It’s nice to feel you against my skin.” He murmured. He pressed his nose into my hair, smelling me. “Wouldn’t be something, though? Can’t you see us married on day? I can picture it. You could be a stay-at home wife. We could have a couple of kids. We wouldn’t need anyone else.” He smiled down at me. I feel claustrophobic and nauseous.  
  
“That’s never going to happen.” I told him.  
  
“Because you want Matt? Because you’d rather have anyone else touch you?” He asked.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“That can be arranged. Be careful what you wish for, little girl.” He growled. I dropped my hands and tried to move away, but he was too fast. He picked me up and threw me to the bed. My head hit the wall, hard. I tried to sit up, but was too dizzy. I can see blood where my face broke my fall. I rolled off of the bed. He was already taking his belt off and unbuttoning his pants.  
  
He used his foot to keep me on the ground. I hit him behind the knee and he fell forward. His knee hit me in the face. I didn’t let the pain slow me down. I crawled away from him and almost made it to the door. He grabbed my ankle and flipped me on my back. He yanked my nightgown up and ripped off my panties.  
  
I started hitting whatever I could reach. He grunted but didn’t slow down. He shoved himself inside of me. I screamed. He wrestled my arms down and secured my wrists in one hand. He put his free hand on my throat and squeezed.  
  
“Cooperate, or I will kill you.” He growled.  
  
“If I died, it’d still be a better life than this.” I hissed. I spat in his face. He only squeezed harder.  
  
“Tell me, Angela, if you get pregnant with my child, will you leave me then?” He asked. I screamed as much as I could with my throat closing up. He moved faster and faster. I know he’s getting close. He froze and I felt his manhood spasm inside of me. I sobbed.  
  
“No.” I cried. “No.” I shook my head. He finally released his vise-grip.  
  
“Yes.” He growled. I jumped on top of him and started pounding my fists into his body. He growled and tried to get me on my back. “You will submit to me!” He screamed.  
  
“No!” I yelled. “I’m done submitting to you.” He managed to get the advantage and picked me up by my throat. He held me against the wall.  
  
“You don’t want my child?” He asked.  
  
“Hell no.” I gasped.  
  
“Then you won’t have any children.” He decided. My eyes widened. What does he mean by that? “But first, more fun.” He grinned.  
  
He moved me to the bed and tied my arms to the bed frame. I’m not really sure how he managed it with my cast, but he did. I was on my stomach. I can hear him squirt something onto his hands. He started rubbing my ass. My nightmares are coming true. Please, God, no.  
  
My dreams were kinder. He thrust his length into me. I screamed. Sobs shook my body. It hurts so much more than anything else. He only got angrier.  
  
“Say my name.” He growled.  
  
“Eric.” I choked.  
  
“Tell me you’re mine.” He commanded.  
  
“I’ll never be yours.”  
  
“Say it!”  
  
“No!” I sobbed. He didn’t slow down, only sped up. What felt like an eternity later, he finally finished. He pulled out and untied me.  
  
“Baby, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” He tried to sooth me. “Have you changed your mind on having my children?” He asked. “Would it be so awful to marry me?”  
  
“I can’t think of anything worse.” I told him. I’m too tired to pretend. I’m too tired to let him walk all over me.  
  
“Alright.” He smiled. He pulled me to my feet and let me go. I fell. It hurts to stand, let alone walk. He pulled me back up and covered my eyes. He cut off my cast and put handcuffs on me. He hung me back onto his hook contraption and let me hang there. I heard him leave the room.  
  
I felt him grab my legs. I felt something cold run along the inside of my thigh. I shuddered and tried to move away from him. What is he doing?  
  
“You don’t want to have my children, so you won’t have anyone else’s.” He whispered.  
  
“What are you doing?” I asked him. He chuckled.  
  
“Exactly what you think I am.”  
  
I felt the cold before I felt the pain. It went right through my stomach. I screamed. It’s blinding pain. I stayed there, bleeding out. After awhile, I felt it again. He sliced into me again. I begged him to stop, but it was pointless. When I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he raised my legs higher and brought the weapon to my womanhood. He put it inside of me. The outside isn’t sharp, just the tip. Is it a screwdriver? And ice pick?  
  
He kept moving it higher and higher. He was careful not to knick me. He hurried his pace and thrust it as hard as he could. I screamed. He took it out of me and took me off of the hook. He carried me somewhere and let me drop to the floor. I can’t see anything and I can’t stop shaking. I don’t know if I’m going to make it this time. I’m so cold.


	42. Hospitals and Bad News

Chapter Thirty-Eight:  
  
  
  
  
I heard Eric slam the front door before everything started to go black. I’m so cold. I’m so tired. I just want to sleep. I need to rest.  
  
My body jerked. I can’t sleep yet. I need help. I need to call for help. Where’s my phone? I forced myself to roll onto my stomach and I army crawled around the living room. It hurts so much but I can’t stop. I can’t die. I won’t die.  
  
Everything is so dark. It’s so hard to see. I hit the coffee table. How could I not see that? I’m losing too much blood. I pushed my arms back up and tried to my find way to the couch. I think I dropped my purse there earlier. Please let it be there. It felt like miles away. I can’t stop. I have to keep going. I finally hit something big and soft. It’s the couch – thank God. I felt around for my purse and pulled it down. I fumbled with the zipper and grabbed my cell out of the top.  
  
I put it as close to my face as possible. I made out Jared’s number. I hit send. I listened to it ring. Thank God.  
  
“Baby girl, are you okay?” He asked. I cried and coughed something up. Shit. It’s worse than I thought.  
  
“I’m bleeding out, J-Jared. Stabbed me. I’m calling the police. Meet me at the hospital. Got to go.” I hung up. It took all of my strength to dial 9-1-1.  
  
“911, what is your emergency?” A male voice asked me.  
  
“I was assaulted and stabbed. Please. Help me.” I sobbed.  
  
“What’s your location?”  
  
“8437 Shady Oaks Lane, Mira Mesa, California.” I breathed.  
  
“Is your attacker still in the house?” He asked.  
  
“No, he left. Please, hurry. I don’t know when he’ll be back. Eric Stronghold, my stepfather, attacked me.” I cried. I’m delirious.  
  
“Stay on the line. Help is on the way.”  
  
“I’m scared.”  
  
“Help is on the way. I’ll stay on the line with you, while you wait. How bad are your injuries?” He asked me.  
  
“I’m coughing up blood. He stabbed me with something. He r-raped me. It’s so hard to stay awake. I’m so tired.” I told him. He said something that I couldn’t really hear. I’m so tired. Maybe if I just sleep, just for a little while, it’ll be okay.  
  


* * *

  
  
“I’ve got her! She’s in here!” Someone screamed. “We need a stretcher!” They yelled. My eyes fluttered open. They’re so loud. Someone lifted me up and put on something.  
  
“I don’t wanna die.” I told someone. Everything’s too fuzzy to make out. “Please. Don’t let him hurt me.”  
  
“You’re not going to die, sweetie. We’re taking you to the hospital.” Someone assured me.  
  
“Not Eric. Don’t let him hurt me.”  
  
“She’s hysterical. She needs a sedative.”  
  


* * *

  
  
“Angela, baby, don’t die on me. Don’t give up on me.” Jared’s voice floated into my ears. I forced my eyes open.  
  
“You came.” I whispered. “I’m so tired. So tired.” I told him.  
  
“Baby girl, I promise you, he is going to jail for what he did to you.” He vowed.  
  
“Sir, please, we need to get her into surgery. You have to let us do our jobs.” Someone else spoke up.  
  
“Take care of her.” Jared told them.

* * *

  
  
I eyes feel so heavy. My mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. Where am I? It’s so quiet here. After what felt like ages, I forced my eyes open. God, it’s so fucking bright. Where am I? I tried to sit up, only to be met with excruciating pain. I gasped and let myself fall back onto the bed. What? I tried to pull off my blankets and I saw IVs coming out my arms. My eyes darted across the room. I’m in a hospital. I don’t remember what happened. What happened? I can’t breathe. My hand flew to my chest. I can’t breathe. A doctor ran into the room.  
  
“Are you alright?” He asked.  
  
“Can’t breathe.” I choked out.  
  
“You’re having a panic attack. Try to breathe slowly. Think of something that makes you happy.” He suggested. I thought about Jace and Matt. Eventually, my breathing began to slow.  
  
“Thanks.” I told the mystery person.  
  
“I’m Dr. Cooper.”  
  
“I want to talk to Dr. Sullivan. I trust Dr. Sullivan.” I told him. He looked taken aback. “Or Denise Sanders. No offense, but I don’t know you.” I told him.  
  
“Okay. I can get them for you. Do you have their numbers?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“They’re in my phone.” I told him.  
  
“Do you know why you’re here Miss Summers?” He asked. I shook my head. “You were attacked.” He reminded me. Flashes of what happened flooded my mind. I remembered Eric tying me to bed and stabbing me and leaving me for dead. Tears poured down my cheeks.  
  
“How bad is it?” I asked him.  
  
“We were able to repair most of the damage. It was touch and go for a while. You were out for a few days.” He told me.  
  
“Thank you.” I told him. He still looked grim, especially for a younger doctor.  
  
“How long has he been hurting you?” He asked. “Some of your fractures and breaks healed long before you got here.”  
  
“A few years. Is there any residual damage from the assault?” I asked him.  
  
“You’ll have to take it easy for a long while. The rest, you may want company while you hear the news.” He warned.  
  
“Okay. Can I give you the numbers? I don’t want to be the one to call them.”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Is Jared here?” I asked. He nodded. I grabbed my phone off the small table and scribbled down the numbers for him. “Can you send him in please? I want to see him.” Dr. Cooper took the paper and left the room. Jared walked in, his eyes red.  
  
“Baby girl, how are you holding up?” He asked me. He looked afraid to touch me.  
  
“I’ve been worse.” I joked. He didn’t smile. “Did they find Eric?” I asked him.  
  
“There was a warrant out for his arrest. They picked him up yesterday. He was hiding with one of his friends. I’ve been awarded temporary custody of you, due to the circumstances.” He told me. I smiled, immediately regretting it. Blood trickled down my chin. I wiped at it, cursing. He frowned and handed me a tissue. “I’m so sorry. That never should have happened to you. I should have been there to stop it.” He apologized.  
  
“It’s done. You can’t change it.” I told him. “Is he going to stay in jail?” I asked him.  
  
“They found semen mixed in with your blood, in your stab wounds. If that matches his, then yes. They found the ice pick he stabbed you with, covered in his finger prints.”  
  
“Thank God.” I breathed. “Does that mean it’ll finally be over?” I asked him. He nodded.  
  
“I really hope so.”  
  
“Dr. Cooper said he bad news. Do you know what it is?” I asked him. He shook his head.  
  
“They wanted to tell us together.” He told me.  
  
“Okay.” I don’t want to know what it is. “Is Gwen here? Is Jace here? I want to see them.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“I’ll get Gwen for you. I think it’d be best if she talked with you first. Jace has taken it really hard.” Jared kissed my forehead and left. Gwen came in a few minutes later. I noticed how weird I was feeling. They must have me doped up on some heavy-duty pain killers.  
  
“Hey baby,” she came in. She started crying when she saw me. I frowned.  
  
“Don’t cry, Momma G.” I told her. She smiled and wiped her face.  
  
“You’re always so brave, Angela.” She told me, sitting in the chair next to the hospital bed.  
  
“I’m never brave.” I corrected her.  
  
“You’re stronger than most of the people I know that are my age. No one should have to go through what you’ve gone through.” She told me. I didn’t say anything. “You could have died, baby. You almost did.”  
  
“But, I didn’t.” I told her.  
  
“You scared us so bad, baby. You were in a coma for five days.” She told me. I looked up at her, surprised.  
  
“The doctor made it sound shorter.”  
  
“He probably didn’t want to worry you. He said that you were asking for your doctor and Matt’s mom.”  
  
“I trust Dr. Sullivan. He’s always been straight with me. And I’m not really sure why I asked for Matt’s mom. I’m just so tired of being around people I can’t trust.”  
  
“I understand. Jace wants to see you. He’s been in really rough shape.”  
  
“How bad?”  
  
“It’s been hard to get him to go home and sleep. He’s been here every day. We all have, but he’s barely left. Matt and Brian have both been by.” She told me.  
  
“Okay. I don’t want to think about Matt right now. He broke my heart once already.”  
  
“Alright, baby. I’m gonna get Jace.” She disappeared and I leaned back and closed my eyes. Everything’s just too much.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Gel,” Jace whispered. I jumped awake. I saw him staring at me. “Don’t ever scare me like that again. It hurt too much.” He whispered. He kissed my cheek and forehead.  
  
“I’m sorry.” I told him.  
  
“You were so pale. They didn’t think you were going to pull through for awhile.” He told me. I nodded. He wiped at his eyes. “I would die if I lost you, Angela.” He told me.  
  
“You won’t lose me, Jay. I’m too damn stubborn.”  
  
“It better stay that way. I love you. You’re my girl.” He told me.  
  
“I love you, too. You helped get me through.” I told him.  
  
“I, I know that I was trying to push you into a relationship with me. And I’m not blind. I know that you’re still into Matt, even though he broke things off. I’m going to back off. For real this time. I just, honest to God, more than anything, I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy.” He promised. I felt tears trickle down my face. I leaned up and touched my lips to his, softly.  
  
“Thank you. Can we be buds again?” I asked him. He chuckled and nodded. I think he needed that goodbye kiss for closure. I know I did.  
  
“Of course. Sidekicks for life.” He promised.  
  
“Fuck yeah.” I smiled. I feel like a giant burden has been lifted off of my shoulders. The room door opened and Dr. Sullivan walked inside. I saw Denise hesitate. I waved her inside.  
  
“I’ll give you guys a minute.” Jace told me. I nodded.  
  
“Thanks.” I told him.  
  
“How are you feeling, Angela?” Dr. Sullivan asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I’ve been better.”  
  
“Dr. Cooper briefed me.” He sighed. “Is it alright to speak freely in front of Ms. Sanders?” He asked me. I nodded. “I heard about Eric. I’m happy that you’ll be safe.” He smiled. “I thought it might be best if I gave you the news, but I’ll wait until Mr. Morgan returns. He left to get some coffee.” He told me. “I’ll be outside until he returns.” He excused himself. Denise watched him go before she said anything.  
  
“I had a feeling that there something more to your injuries. I’m sorry to hear about your stepfather.” She apologized. I can tell that she means it, just by looking at her. “I’m not sure what went on between you and my son. He wouldn’t say much about it, but I do know that he cares about you, very much. I’ve never seen him act the way he does with you, with anyone else.” She told me.  
  
“I don’t think he still feels that way. He ended things last weekend.” I told her. She didn’t say anything.  
  
“Men are complicated creatures.” She told me.  
  
“Sometimes, I think it’d be easier to be a lesbian.” I mused. She chuckled.  
  
“Even if things don’t work out between you and Matt, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or just a girl friend to talk to, I’m here. That doesn’t change because my son had a lapse in judgment.” She promised.  
  
“Thank you.” It wouldn’t make things any easier if I gave her the gory details of our break-up. “Can you ask Gwen to come in with Jared when he gets back? I’d feel better with her in here, too, when I get the news.”  
  
“Of course, sweetheart.” She smiled and left.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Baby girl, wake up.” I heard Jared talking to me. I forced my eyes open. I don’t understand why I’m still so tired. “It’s time to hear the news.” He told me. I nodded, trying to wake up.  
  
“It’s not good, I’m afraid.” Dr. Sullivan stalled.  
  
“Dr. Sullivan, please, just tell me.” I asked.  
  
“Please, call me Mark.” He corrected.  
  
“Mark, please,” I tried again. He sighed.  
  
“With all of the damage that was done to your abdomen and your uterus… I’m afraid you won’t be able to have children.” He told me. “I’m so sorry.” He apologized. Tears welled in my eyes. Everything’s blurred.  
  
“Can I just have some time to myself, please?” I asked them all. They all shuffled out of my room. I waited until the door closed to lose it. Even when he’s locked up, Eric is still controlling my life. He got what he wanted. I won’t be able to bear children, because I didn’t want his. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted to be a mother until he took it away. I would be an awesome mom. I would never beat my children. I’d raise them right. I’d raise them like Gwen raised Jace. I’d love them and let know that they were loved. I would let them know that they were worth the world. I would give them everything that I was never able to have growing up.  
  
I laid on my side and sobbed into my pillow. I don’t remember ever hurting this bad, mentally or physically. I feel so violated. I must have been an awful person in my previous life to deserve this. I try to be a pretty good person to people, but in the end I still get screwed over.  
  
I wanna be done with everything, just for a little while. I can’t stand dealing with the world right now. I want to feel like I’m not always alone. Everyone wants to sympathize, but they don’t really understand. They can’t know what you’re going through.  
  
He finally broke me.


	43. Reunions, Nightmares, and Hope

Chapter Thirty-Nine:

  
  
Someone touched my back. I jumped and pulled stitches in my stomach. The pain shot from my lady-parts, to my ass, to my stomach. Everywhere feels stiff. I breathed sharply and tried to stop crying. God, it hurts so badly. I turned onto my back and saw Matt staring down at me. I closed my eyes and grabbed for the remote that controlled the bed. I hit the button until I was basically sitting up.  
  
“What do you want?” I asked him. He didn’t say anything for a minute. He just eyed me. I must look awful and now I’m sitting in front of my ex-boyfriend. This is just fantastic. This is the last thing that I wanted. I used my free hand to fidget with the soft cast on my wrist. I’m surprised they haven’t put a hard cast on it. They probably had other priorities.  
  
“I wanted to see you and make sure that you were okay.” He told me.  
  
“Why is that?” I asked him.  
  
“I care about you, Angela.”  
  
“You have a funny way of showing it.” I told him.  
  
“I didn’t mean anything that I said. I only broke up with you to try and keep you safe. I didn’t want there to be any chance that you’d get hurt because of me. I couldn’t live with myself if I let that happen to you. What kind of man would I be?” He asked.  
  
“And I’m just supposed to trust you and take your word for it?”  
  
“I’m not expecting you to just forget everything that happened. I just wanted to clear the air. I hated treating you that way.” He cupped my face. I turned away from him. It hurts too much to have him touch me and after everything that’s gone on between us. I want to believe him. But, what he said before, it hurt me, so much.  
  
“You knew exactly how to hurt me and you used it on me. You said you wouldn’t bail on me and that’s exactly what you did. I shared part of myself with you that I’ve never willingly shared with anyone else and you made me feel worthless for it. I felt inadequate and unimportant because I can’t give you more than that. I know that you deserve someone that doesn’t have as much baggage or issues with their body. I can’t change who I am. I’m not going to get better any time soon. It’s going to be rough for a long time. I have to know that you’re going to be there for me, even when times are tough. Can you promise me that? And what if we did work out? What happens when we get serious or when we settle down? I can’t have kids. Did they tell you? I’m not okay, mentally or physically. Can you handle that? I don’t need someone that’s going to flake. I don’t need a boy. I need a man. If you can’t do that, I’m giving you an out. Tell me now.” By the time I got it all out, I was trembling.  
  
“I will never walk away from you like that again. I promise you. I will stand by you, as long as there is something between us, I will be there. I can’t stay away from you. I don’t know what it is about you. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” He apologized.  
  
“I can’t jump back into anything.” I told him.  
  
“I understand. I’m not asking you to. We can go slow. Hell, we can start over.”  
  
“I can handle going slow.” I told him. “I just need you to be there.”  
  
“I’m here.” He touched my face and I lost it. All the composure I fought so hard to keep in front of him was gone. I don’t know what it about him that makes all of my walls come crashing down. Tears were free falling. He moved closer to me and cradled my face against his chest. I sobbed into him and tried to let the pain go. “Let it all out.” He whispered. I don’t think I could stop if I tried. There’s so much pain built up that’s trying to get out. “I’m here.” He repeated. I clung to him as I cried.  
  


* * *

  
**Jace’s POV**  
  
“He’s been in there for awhile… Should we check on her?” I asked mom. She shook her head.  
  
“I think they’re healing, or trying to. Give them their time. She needs this.” She told me. I sighed. As long as she’s happy, I can put up with seeing them together.  
  
“Will she recover from this?” I asked Dr. Sullivan.  
  
“It’ll take a long time, and some things will probably always stay with her. She needs a lot of support. She’ll need you all to be there for her. She’s experienced a great deal of traumatizing things. You’ll need to be patient.” Mark warned. No one said anything. We just sat in the waiting room in silence.

* * *

  
**Angela’s POV**  
  
I let go of Matt and mopped my face with a wad of tissues. It took me a minute to gather enough courage to look Matt in the eyes. He looks so sad. I shouldn’t have leaned on him so much.  
  
He leaned down and kissed me. I couldn’t think about anything else but his lips on mine. They’re warm and soft. I didn’t realize just how much I missed his touch until I had it, again. With just a touch, he makes me feel so much safer, stronger, and more feminine. I’m still not used to it.  
  
I pulled away and looked at him. I touched my lips. He smiled and brought his lips to my forehead. I took his hand in mine and held it. We sat in silence for a little while.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Hello _Angel,_ you didn’t think you’d actually escape me, did you?” Eric asked me, sitting on my hospital bed. I jumped.  
  
“How did you get in here? You’re supposed to be in j-jail.” I stuttered.  
  
“What’s the matter? Not happy to see me? That hurts. I thought we had something special.” He frowned. “Well, hey, we’ll always have the house. We had some good times there, didn’t we?” He smirked and grabbed my hand before I could stop him. The worst parts of the few years flashed before my eyes.  
  
I remember finding my mother’s lifeless body in bed. She was so cold. She almost looked like she was sleeping. I don’t remember much of that day. I remember screaming for help and calling an ambulance. The rest is in bits and pieces. I wouldn’t leave her. I remember that much.  
  
I remember the first time Eric decided to touch me somewhere that was just a little too close to something that no parent should touch.  
  
My memories kept flashing before my eyes. Every vile thing he ever tried or made me do sped before me. When it stopped, I focused on Eric and his arrogant smirk.  
  
“I love you, Angela. I had to make sure you liked the parting gift I gave you.” He smiled and punched my stomach. I cried out. It feels like he ripped all my stitches. “You didn’t think I was really done with you? Did you?” He asked. Leg restraints appeared on the bed. I scrambled to get away from him, but I didn’t have the strength to fight as much as I wanted to. He had my ankles fastened and he yanked up my hospital gown. I sobbed.  
  
“No. You’ve done enough. Leave me alone.” I begged.  
  
“That’s right. Beg for daddy.” He sneered. He dropped his pants and climbed on top of me. He thrust his member into my battered core. I screamed.  
  
“Wake up! Angela! Wake up!” Matt shook my arms. My eyes flew open. People flooded into my room to make sure I was alright. “She had a nightmare.” He explained.  
  
“Are you alright?” Mark asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Just shaken in. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry everybody.” I apologized.  
  
“Do you want a sedative?” Dr. Cooper offered. I shook my head.  
  
“No, please. Later, but not right now.” I declined. Everyone filed out of the room. A police officer came in with Jared. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Jared shook his head.  
  
“Nothing, baby girl. The results came back on your rape kit. The DNA tested positive for Eric’s. We’ve got a really strong case, now. Jace gave my lawyers the date stamped pictures that you took after he attacked you the previous times. This is looking good for us.” He smiled.  
  
“Good. Something good. Finally.” I feel like I can breathe again.


	44. A New Day and a New Song

Chapter Forty:  
  
  
  
  
The next week passed by in a medically induced blur. When Matt wasn’t with me, Jace was. I was never really alone. Jared really surprised me. He didn’t leave my side for the first few days that I was conscious. After the third day, I convinced him to go back to work.  
  
Denise and the other band parents all chipped in for a lawyer to look over the record contracts and to give them legal advice. Jared has been producing music for a long time and knowing how close I am with Matt, he gave them a good deal.  
  
Today’s the first day in a while that I feel completely lucid. My mind doesn’t feel foggy and I’m content. If I don’t move around too much, I can pretend that I’m normal. I’m really hoping that I can go home soon. I want to be able to eat real food. The severity of my injuries has kept me here. I’m not allowed to walk around just yet. It pulls the stitches.  
  
“Hey girl,” Jace walked in. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Hey guy,” I responded. He snickered. He thinks he’s so funny.  
  
“What’s on the agenda today?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“I dunno. Lame TV? Really bad hospital food? Oh, I know, we can stare at the wall.” I told him. He just grinned.  
  
“That’s what I like about you – you’re feisty.”  
  
“It’s true.” I agreed. “It’s like a sickness. I just can’t help it.”  
  
“Good. I’d be sad if you changed. You’d be lame.” He nodded.  
  
“Your butt is lame.” I countered.  
  
“Have you seen my ass? It’s amazing. That’s how I get all the ladies.” He smirked.  
  
“And I thought it was your completely lack of charm. You know, because they pity you.” It was my turn to smirk.  
  
“I’ll have you know, I’ve got mad game.” He argued.  
  
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”  
  
“Oh, the guys are recording in LA today.” Jace told me. I looked up in surprise.  
  
“Oh, really? They didn’t say anything.”  
  
“They didn’t wanna jinx it. Brian told me he’d let me know if it went well. Apparently, so far, so good.”  
  
“Good.” I told him.  
  
“Do you wanna take a lap around the hospital? It’s gotta be better than staying in here.” He told me.  
  
“I don’t think I’m allowed to walk around.” I told him.  
  
“We’ll take a wheelchair.”  
  
“Actually, it might be good for her to walk around. Just take small steps and don’t overexert yourself.” Dr. Sullivan said as he entered the room. I nodded.  
  
“Okay. Here goes nothin’.” I mumbled. I maneuvered my legs off of the bed and stood up. I can do it, but it takes awhile. It takes me forever just to pee. Jace put his arm around me and I leaned on him while I walked. “This is going to be fun.” I lied. He laughed and we set out.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Why does walking have to be so painful?” I asked him as I sank down into a chair in the cafeteria.  
  
“Because everything is more fun when it’s difficult.” Jace smiled.  
  
“Shut up. You’re such a smartass.” I shot back. He snorted and started eating the mediocre hospital food. I grimaced and drank some juice. I watched him eat in silence. It didn’t take him long to scarf down his food. “Can you wheel me back? I dunno if I can make it all the way to the room walking.”  
  
“Anything for you.” He winked. I rolled my eyes and stole my phone from Jace’s pocket.  
  
_How’s recording going?_  
_-Angela_  
  
I sent a text to Matt. My curiosity is getting the best of me. I hate not knowing things.  
_It’s going well. We’re taking a break, at the moment. Brian spilled the beans, huh?_  
_-Matt_  
  
_He told Jace. Jace told me. I didn’t realize it was a secret.:P_  
_-A_  
  
_I wanted to surprise you.:P_  
_-M_  
  
_I hate surprises._  
_-A_  
  
_Even good surprises? I’ll come see you tomorrow._  
_-M_  
  
_All surprises. And okay._  
_-A_  
  
_We’re getting ready to record more music. I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you when we get back. :)_  
  
_PS-I’ve been thinking about you all day._  
_-Matt_  
  
_Good luck. Be safe._  
_  
PS-You’re always on my mind._  
_-Angela_  
  
“What are you smiling about?” Jace asked. I shrugged.  
  
“Nothing. Just talking with Matt.” I told him. “Do you think we could stroll through the garden before we go back to my room? I’m getting so sick of looking at the same walls every day.”  
  
“Sure thing. Have you run out of books yet?” He asked me. I nodded. “I’ll pick some up from your place and drop them by tomorrow.” He promised.  
  
“You’re the best.” I told him.  
  
“I know.” He smirked.

* * *

  
  
Ringing brought me out my sleep. It took me a minute to force my eyes to focus and try to find my phone. I finally found it. I held it to my ear.  
  
“Hello?” I breathed.  
  
“Hey beautiful, did I wake you?” Matt asked me.  
  
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I feel like I’m always sleeping with the meds they have me hooked on. How did recording go?”  
  
“It went really well. I’ve been working on a new song. I know you told me that you hate surprises, but I think you’ll honestly like this one. It’s about you.” He revealed.  
  
“Wait, what? You wrote a song about me?”  
  
“It’s a good one, too. We just need to lay down some female vocals for the song. I can’t wait for you to hear it when it’s finished.” I can hear him smiling through the phone.  
  
“That’s… incredible. You really wrote me a song?” I asked him in disbelief. “No one’s ever done anything like that for me before.”  
  
“You deserve so much more.” He told me.  
  
“I don’t.”  
  
“You do. I’ll let you get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.”  
  
“Goodnight.” I hung up. That’s the last thing I expected, but I can’t stop smiling. Things are looking up.


	45. Dear God

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit: "Dear God" -- Avenged Sevenfold

Chapter Forty-One:  
  
  
  
  
I didn’t have any problems falling asleep. All of the medicine the doctors have me on took care of that. I barely feel anything. Thankfully, I’ve been dreaming very little. The nightmares have been kept to a minimum. I spent my morning in and out of consciousness. I’m having more trouble than normal staying awake today. My eyelids feel so heavy.  
  


* * *

  
  
“Angela,” someone whispered. Someone is holding my hand. I forced my eyes to slide open. It took me a minute to focus. I saw Matt staring at me. I smiled.  
  
“You came.” I smiled. He nodded.  
  
“Of course I did. I told you I would.” He leaned forward and kissed me. I pulled back, covering my mouth.  
  
“I’ve got morning breath. I’m sorry.” I apologized.  
  
“I don’t mind.” He smirked and captured my lips once more. “I come bearing gifts.” He told me. I smiled.  
  
“Is it a pony?” I asked. He chuckled.  
  
“No, but I’ll remember that for next time.” He promised. I giggled.  
  
“Okay. What did you bring me?” I asked him. He looked nervous. He pulled his laptop out of his bag and turned it on. I watched as he booted it up and tinkered with a flash drive. He handed me a pair of headphones after plugging it into his computer.  
  
“I-I just want you to listen. Don’t say anything until it’s finished. Okay?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“I think I can manage that.” I told him. He smiled.  
  
“Good.” He put the headphones over my ears and hit play. Music filled my ears. So far, it’s not as heavy as their other stuff. It’s softer.  
  
Matt held my hands and looked at me as the singing started. This is the song he was telling me about last night. It has to be. It’s something so personal, and he’s sharing it with me. I don’t feel good enough. I didn’t say anything, just focused on the lyrics, and the sweet, sexy sound of Matt’s voice.  
  
_Dear God, the only thing I ask of you_  
_Is to hold her when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away._  
_We all need that person, who can be true to you,_  
_But I left her when I found her_  
_And now I wish I’d stayed._  
_‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired…_  
_I’m missing you again,_  
_Oh, no._  
_Once again._  
  
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. He really wrote this about me?  
  
_There’s no one here while the city sleeps and all the shops are closed._  
_Can’t help but think of the times I’ve had with you,_  
_Pictures and some memories will have to help me through,_  
_Oh yeah._  
  
His eyes bored into mine. The gaze we’re sharing is so intense. It’s unreal.  
  
_Dear God, the only thing I ask of you_  
_Is to hold her when I’m not around, when I’m much too far away._  
_We all need that person, who can be true to you,_  
_But I left her when I found her_  
_And now I wish I’d stayed._  
_‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired…_  
_I’m missing you again,_  
_Oh, no._  
_Once again._  
  
He leaned in and kissed me. This moment is perfect.  
  
_Well, some search never finding a way,_  
_Before long they waste away._  
_I found you, something told me to stay._  
_I gave into selfish ways._  
_And how I miss someone to hold, when hope begins to fade._  
  
I lost myself in him.  
  
_Miles away from those I love; purpose hard to find._  
  
_Dear God, the only thing I ask of you_  
_Is to hold her when I’m not around,_  
_When I’m much too far away._  
_We all need the person that can be true to you._  
_I left her when I found her and now I wish I’d stayed,_  
_‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired._  
_I’m missing you again._  
_Oh, no._  
_Once again._  
  
I took off the headphones and mopped my face with my hand. Neither of us said anything for awhile. We sat in a comfortable silence, starring at each other.  
  
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Matt broke the silence. He climbed onto the bed with me. He placed himself carefully, so he didn’t sit on my legs.  
  
“I’m… shocked.” I told him. He looks like he’s trying to read me. “You really wrote that about me?” I asked him. He nodded.  
  
“I’m here. I’m all in. I don’t want anyone else. I can’t think about anyone else. I was telling you the truth. I’m going to step up and be here for you.” He cupped my cheek. I smiled. He always makes me feel like a girl. I don’t want to cry. I’m tired of crying and yet I can’t seem to control it.  
  
“I believe you.” I breathed.  
  
“I meant what I said in the song.” He tilted my chin up so I had to look at him. “I love you.” He said those three words that makes everything so much more concrete. He can’t take it back now. We’re really in this. I leaned into him and laid my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know where I stand.” He whispered.  
  
“I… love you, too.” I whispered. He felt him smile next to me.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter Forty-Two:  
  
  
  
  
The next couple of weeks passed without too much excitement. I was able to go home, well to Jace’s place. It feels good to be out of the hospital. I feel like I can finally breathe again.  
It feels nice to wear actual clothes again. It’s mostly just loose-fitting dresses, but it’s better than nothing. Pants are still painful.  
  
Matt comes over a lot. We’ve been taking things really slowly. He’s been really patient. We haven’t been able to go out and really do much. I’m still healing. It feels like forever has come and gone already. I just want to be able to walk around without feeling like I’m getting stabbed all over again.  
  
Denise suggested that I start talking to somebody professionally. I agreed to see one of her friends. Money isn’t an issue, but it would be nice to feel normal one of these days. I’ve got my first session later today.  
  
I put my hair up in a pony tail. I opted for loose lounge pants and a tee shirt. I put socks on and slipped my Vans on and grabbed my purse. I met Gwen downstairs. She was waiting with her keys in hand. We didn’t talk during the car drive. I don’t really trust my voice. I’m nervous and I feel nauseous. I’m not sure what I’m ready to talk about yet.  
  
We got there in less time than I expected. The psychiatrist must be good, because his office is really nice. His reception greeted us as soon as we walked through the door.  
  
“You must be Angela.” She smiled. I nodded. “Dr. Warner is just finishing his session with another patient. He should be out shortly. You’re more than welcome to sit down while you wait.” She gestured to the array or plush armchairs and a coffee table laden with magazines and a little snack bar in the corner. I walked over with Gwen. She put her arm around me and we sat onto the only couch.  
  
“You’ll be just fine, sweetheart.” She told me. I nodded. Time passed by slowly while we waited. We only waited about ten minutes, but it felt like it had been hours. Dr. Warner emerged following a guy my age. He patted him on the back and joked with him. They both look so relaxed. The doc looks a lot younger than I expected. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought it would be.  
  
Dr. Warner walked over to us and smiled. “Will you be joining us during our session today?” He asked Gwen. I shook my head.  
  
“No,” I answered for me. She looks surprised but she didn’t say anything. I can do this. I pushed myself up, trying not to wince.  
  
“I’m Dr. Warner, but you can call me Alex.” He introduced himself and offered his hand. I took it and shook it.  
  
“Angela, nice to meet you.”  
  
“Can I get you something to drink?” He asked me.  
  
“Water, please?”  
  
“Of course, why don’t you make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right in with your water.” He smiled. I nodded and went through the door he came from minutes ago. It’s filled with two more armchairs, a couch, and loveseat. I sank onto the loveseat closest to the chair that looks like the one he uses. I took a throw blanket off of one of the end tables and spread it out over my legs. I’m not cold, but it’s comforting.  
  
I looked around the room, familiarizing myself with it. It’s a dark, warm yellow color. There’s shaggy carpet and a giant basket of candy on the coffee table in the center of the room. I noted the two doors that lead out of the room. It’s nice knowing there is more than one way out of here. It helps this feel slightly less intimidating.  
  
Dr. Warner came inside and handed me a bottle of water with an empty glass. “Here you are.” He smiled.  
  
“Thank you.” I took the water from him. I set the cup down on a coaster and poured some of the water into it. I placed the water bottle on the floor next to me and took a sip from the cup.  
  
“Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?” He suggested.  
  
“How much time do we have?” I deflected.  
  
“We have as much time as you need. I don’t have any appointments after this. I try to give as much time as needed for the initial appointment.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“What would you like to know?” I asked him.  
  
“Let’s ease into things. Why don’t you start by telling me some basic things about you?”  
  
“Alright,” I took another sip of water and put it back on the table. “I’m almost eighteen years old. I graduate later this year. I’m top of my class. My favorite color is green. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.” I told him. He smirked.  
  
“My favorite color is also green.” He told me. “Congratulations on being top of your class. Do you want to go to college?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I’m not sure where, yet. I used to want to go anywhere that’s not here, but now… My home is here, so I’m not sure.” I told him.  
  
“Have you already applied to schools?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I’ve gotten accepted pretty much everywhere. I just have to decide.” I told him. “It’ll most likely be a good university that’s somewhat close by that has a good program for writing.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Do you have a lot of friends?” He asked me.  
  
“I have a few close friends.” I told him. “Jace is probably my closest friend. I’ve been staying with him and his mother. You met her outside. I’ve adopted a few of Matt’s friends. He’s Denise’s son. I’m not sure if you’ve met him.”  
  
“But, you’re not just friends with him?” He questioned.  
  
“We’re dating.”  
  
“How is that going for you?” He asked.  
  
“It’s going as smoothly as it can be. He’s been great the past couple of weeks. He’s really patient.”  
  
“That’s great. Have things always gone smoothly?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“How so?” He asked me.  
  
“He broke up with me a few weeks ago before I was put into the hospital.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“He didn’t want me to get hurt because I was staying with him after Eric, my step-father, forbade me to.” I told him, trembling.  
  
“Why couldn’t you see Matt?” Alex asked me. “If you can’t talk about something, don’t be afraid to tell me that. I won’t push you to talk about anything you’re not ready to.” He assured me. I nodded.  
  
“Eric was, is, very possessive of me. I’ve never been allowed to date. He didn’t like other guys being around me. The only guy he’s never had a problem with is Jace. As soon as he found out about Matt, he lost it. He told me the only way to keep seeing Matt would be to submit to him, but I doubt he would’ve been okay with it, even then. You could never tell with him.”  
  
“What did he do when he lost it?” Dr. Warner pried.  
  
“He hurt me.” I told him. I didn’t say anything else. He nodded.  
  
“How long has he been hurting you for?”  
  
“A couple of years, since my mother died.” I told him.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”  
  
“I didn’t have anywhere to go and it’s not like he was going to let me leave. He made that much clear.”  
  
“I see. How did Eric make you feel?” He asked me.  
  
“Terrified, small, powerless, dirty, angry, wrong…” I told him.  
  
“You may be small, but you’re not powerless. You’re not dirty and you’re not wrong. Do you know that?” He asked me. I didn’t say anything. “When you’re with Matt, what kind of things do you feel?” He asked me.  
  
“I feel stronger, knowing that I’m not alone. I feel like there’s hope that I’ll be normal one day. I feel pretty and when I’m with him, it doesn’t feel like a bad thing. I feel loved.”  
  
“Are those things that you’re able to feel when he’s not around?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Do you feel strong when you’re alone?”  
  
“I feel strong, sometimes. When I think back about everything that’s happened and the fact that I somehow got through that… makes me feel strong. Other times, I feel so fucking helpless.” I told him. I clinched my fists and cried out. I still have to be careful with my fractured wrist.  
  
“Why don’t you feel normal?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I have trouble with intimacy. Sometimes, I can’t be touched. It sets something off. I hate yelling. Arguments and fighting makes me really uncomfortable. I get claustrophobic sometimes. I hate the dark. I don’t like being trapped in places.”  
  
“Do you believe that you’re pretty?”  
  
“Do I feel pretty?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“No, but I know that other people think I am. Eric always made a point of telling me just how attractive he found me and how much it affected him. If I looked different growing up, then maybe he would have left me alone.”  
  
“Do you feel loved when Matt isn’t around?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Yes. I’ve got a good support system. When things first started to get bad, I didn’t have that. Then Jace moved into town and it changed.”  
  
“Angela, I think you’re worth a lot more than what you’re seeing right now. It’ll take time, but you will feel strong again. Honestly, I don’t think that anyone is normal. Things are going to take time to regulate. You’re going to have to patient. It’s not going to be a stroll through the park, but there is no doubt in my mind that you can do it. You seem like a very hard worker. I know that you can overcome this. You don’t have to let this experience define you. You have everything working with you to make you successful. People like Eric… It was only a matter of time until something set him off. That’s his personality. It’s how he’s wired. If it wasn’t you, it would have been someone else. You didn’t do anything to deserve what was done to you. He’s probably been violent with people in the past. You’re allowed to feel like the beautiful, young lady you are, without feeling like it’s hurting you. Everything he did to you was about him. It wasn’t about you.” Alex told me. He offered me a box of tissues and I wiped at my face. He barely knows me and it’s like he understands things that he shouldn’t be able to. “Would this be a good stopping point today?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Yes, thank you.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“We can meet at the same time next week, if that will work for you.” He told me.  
  
“I’d like that.” I stood up and folded the blanket I had been using. I grabbed the bottle of water and followed him out of the room. I pulled out my wallet and he waved it away.  
  
“Jared has already taken care of it. If you need anything, or if you need to talk before our next session, please, don’t hesitate to call me.” He handed me a business card with his office and cell phone number on it.  
  
“Alright. I’ll see you next week.” I told him. He patted my shoulder. Gwen got off.  
  
“Have a good week, ladies. I’ll see you soon.” He smiled. We headed for the car.  
  
“How did it go?” Gwen asked me.  
  
“As well as could be expected,” I told her.  
  
“It’ll get easier, darlin’.”


	47. Dinner for Four

Chapter Forty-Three:

  
  
It’s been a few days since I’ve seen Alex. I’ve been thinking a lot about what he said to me. I’m trying to take it to heart and believe it, but I’m having a hard time with it. I think that it’s one of those things that takes time.  
  
“Hey, you ready to go?” Matt asked me. I looked up and nodded. He helped me up and smiled. We’re driving up to LA to see Jared. He wants to take us to dinner and thought it would be good for me to get out of town for a bit.  
  
“Let me just grab my meds. I’m not sure I can make it through the car ride with the seatbelt otherwise.” I told him.  
  
“Take your time.” He waited by my bedroom door.  
  
“Baby girl, I’ve got some news.” Gwen walked into my room. I looked over at her as I put my meds into my purse.  
  
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.  
  
“They’re moving up the trial. We go to court next week.” She told me. I froze.  
“That’s good, right?”  
  
“Would you be alright testifying?” She asked me. “We have evidence against him, but it would really help if you did.”  
  
“I…” I fiddled with my hands. I knew it would be coming, but it didn’t think it would be happening so soon. I don’t want to see him again. I don’t think I can handle being in the same room as him… I want to get it over with, sure, but it so much. He left me to die the last time I saw him. I still have nightmares about him. I can still feel the knife in my gut. But, I know that if he doesn’t get put away for life, then he’ll never leave me alone. “When?”  
  
“The trial is set for next Friday.” She told me. I bit my life. “The lawyer will ask you some prep questions, so you’re not surprised on the stand. Just be honest. There’s nothing he can say that can justify his actions, Angela. If you can’t do it, it’s okay.”  
  
“I can’t let him control me for the rest of my life. I have to do this. No one else can. It didn’t happen to someone else. It happened to me. If I don’t stand up for myself, he’ll have power over me for the rest of my life. I can’t live like that. I’ll do it.” I told her. She smile and gave me a soft hug.  
  
“Will you two be alright going to Los Angeles alone?” She asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I’ll take care of her.” Matt promised.  
  
“You better. If she gets hurt, I’ll hunt you down.” She told him. He held up his hands in surrender.  
  
“You have my word. If I let her get hurt, I’ll come to you. You won’t have to hunt me down.” He told her. She laughed and hugged him.  
  
“Be good to her, Matt. She’s my baby.” She told him.  
  
“She’s mine, too.”  
  


* * *

  
  
About an hour into the drive I caved and took my meds. The seatbelt just puts so much pressure on my stomach. It’s killing me.  
  
“How ya feelin’?” Matt asked.  
  
“I’ll feel better after the meds kick in.” I told him.  
  
“What are you thinking about?”  
  
“The trial… I’ve been trying not to, but I can’t seem to shake it off of my mind.” I told him.  
  
“You don’t have to be there alone. I’m going to be there for you.” He told me.  
  
“What?” It didn’t register.  
  
“I’m going to be at the trial to support you.” He looked over at me.  
  
“You don’t have to.” I told him.  
  
“I want to. I told you I was going to be there for you, and that’s what I’m going to do. You’re part of my life and I don’t want that to change.” He smiled.  
  
“You’re pretty amazing; you know?”  
  
“I get that a lot, but thank you.” He teased. I groaned.  
  
“Shut your face.”  
  
“Make me.” He challenged.  
  
“As soon as we’re out of the car,” I taunted. He grinned.  
  


* * *

  
  
“There’s my baby girl!” Jared smiled as we walked into his office. “I’m so glad you two could make it. I appreciate you coming all this way.” He crushed me into a hug. I chuckled and hugged him back. He let me go put his arm around Matt and did the same.  
  
“Thanks for inviting us.” I told him.  
  
“Of course, anything for you.” He smiled and pulled out his phone. “I just need to make a phone call and we can head out.” He promised. He left the room and we waited in the office.  
  
“I think you promised me something.” Matt teased. I touched his face and pulled his lips to mine. The kiss was short and sweet.  
  
“I think that’ll suffice as shutting you up.” I smirked.  
  
“Maybe you should do it again, just to be safe.” He pressed his mouth on mine.  
  
“Alright, we’re good to go…” Derek came back into his office. I pulled away from Matt. This just got awkward. “Do you need a minute?” He asked, clearing his throat, awkwardly.  
  
“No, we can go.” I told him, hurriedly.

* * *

  
  
“Can I get you some more iced tea?” Our waiter asked me. I nodded.  
  
“That would be great. Thank you.” I told him. He hurried off. I glanced around the table and looked at Jared’s lawyer, Mr. Stewart. He looks like a man who knows what he’s doing. His suit is sharp and pressed. He’s well groomed and breathes extreme confidence. Jared introduced him earlier. I didn’t know he was invited to dinner. I had a feeling that there was something more to dinner than just dinner.  
  
“Angela, I wanted to introduce you to the lawyer that’s going to be taking the lead on your case. I wanted you to feel comfortable around him before we go to trial. I think it’ll help.” He told me. I nodded and looked around the room, again. We’re eating in a swanky back room, away from everyone else.  
  
“Okay.” I breathed. Mr. Stewart cleared his throat.  
  
“Please, call me, ‘Ryan’.” He smiled. “I would just like to get your account of what happened, first hand. I’ve already looked through your medical history, and the pictures that you took, as well as the rest of the evidence. It’s better that we go through this now, so that there are no surprises when you take the stand.”  
  
“I just feel a little blind-sided.” I told him, truthfully. “And with all-due respect, Ryan, I don’t know you.” I told him.  
  
“And the people that will be questioning you on trial won’t know you, either.” He argued. I frowned and bit my lip.  
  
“What do you want to know?” I sighed.  
  
“Why don’t you start at the beginning?” Ryan suggested. Matt glared at him. It came out sarcastically.  
  
“Watch yourself. She doesn’t need an asshole lawyer.” Matt warned. Ryan’s eyes grew wide.  
  
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I apologize. Smart-ass is my native tongue.” Ryan apologized.  
  
“If you don’t think you can handle it, I can get another lawyer who is more sensitive to the situation.” Jared spoke up. Ryan paled and shook his head. It’s going to be a long night.


	48. First Day Back

Chapter Forty-Four:

  
  
Last night was long and draining. Dinner wasn’t at all what I expected. I just expected some down-time with Matt and Jared. Instead, I had to tell my life story, again. I’m so tired of talking about myself. Every time, it stirs up memories I would rather forget. I hate it. At least it’s getting a little easier to talk about it. No matter how hard I try, it just serves as a constant reminder of how broken I am.  
  
I’m supposed to meet with Alex one more time before we go to trial. He’s supposed to analyze me again and then give his expert opinion on me when we go to court. But, no pressure or anything. It’s all so much.  
  
It just feels like the giant shit pile that has consumes my life is never ending. The shit pile just keeps growing.  
  
“Hey Angela, haven’t seen you in awhile.” Cody taunted. I groaned. My first day back to school and he’s the person I see.I mean, seriously? Seriously?!  
  
“Hey yourself,” I replied, immediately regretting my decision to come back to school today. I have plenty of excused absences, but if I get too many, I can’t graduate. So, the days that I can be here, I pretty much have to be.  
  
“You don’t look as bad as everyone’s been saying.” He assessed. “I’d still do you.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Do you have to be disgusting 24/7 or is that just a choice?” I sighed. His smirk grew.  
  
“Everything I do is a choice, beautiful.” He stroked my face. I moved away from his hand. He let it drop and sat down next to me. “Is it true?” He asked.  
  
“Is what true?”  
  
“What everyone’s been saying? What’s been all over the news? Did your stepdad really attack you?” He asked. I nodded. There’s no use in lying about it. He’s right. It has been plastered all over the news.  
  
“Yes.” I whispered.  
  
“That’s fucked up. I knew you were jail-bait, but damn.” He tried to joke. I glared at him. “Look, I didn’t mean it like that, okay? I’m sorry… for what happened to you. You probably don’t need me hitting on you every time I see you at school.” He admitted. I chuckled.  
  
“I just want to be treated like everything is normal.” I told him, truthfully.  
  
“Great, because you’re one of the hottest girls here. I don’t think I could stop hitting on you if I tried.” He teased. I rolled my eyes.  
  
“This guy bothering you?” Brian asked. I shook my head.  
  
“Chill man. I was just leaving. I’ll see you ‘round, Angela.” Cody left.  
  
“What was all that about?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“Believe it or not, I think he was trying to be nice.” I told him. He laughed.  
  
“We really haven’t had a chance to talk. How have you been?”  
  
“I’ve been as well as can be expected. I’m nervous and trying to not wig out about the hearing on Friday.” I leveled with him. He nodded.  
  
“I get that. Do you need to talk about anything?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I think it’s just not knowing how the trial is going to go. I hate not knowing. The unexpected is what scares me. I don’t know what his lawyers are going to ask or how they’re going to try and make what Eric did okay. It’s hard enough to rehash things without a being in front of a room full of people. So much rides on this. If we win, he goes away for life, and he can’t hurt me anymore. If we lose, he can continue to make my life hell. I honestly don’t think I can handle seeing right now. Being in the same room as him… I can’t, Brian. I just can’t. I still have nightmares about what went down. He’s taken so much away from me. How am I supposed to deal with that?” I ranted. Brian didn’t say anything, just put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug.  
  
“You’re going to make it through this, because you’re strong. You’re a fighter. No matter what he does, he can’t take that away from you. He’s tried and failed. You’re going to be okay. You’ll ace the trial because that’s what you have to do.” He kissed my temple.  
  
“Thanks. I needed that.” I breathed. He smiled.  
  
“Don’t mention it. That’s what friends are for.” He kept his arm on my shoulder but started to eat his food. “Have you written anything lately?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I’ve written a little bit.”  
  
“Can I take a look?” He asked.  
  
“Sure, just remember, no laughing.”  
  
“Scout’s honor.” He promised.  
  
“You were a Boy Scout?” I asked.  
  
“Hey, we all had to start somewhere.”  
  
“True.” I agreed and handed him my notebook. He flipped through and started reading.  
  
_'His little whispers, “Love me. Love me._  
_That’s all I ask for; love me. Love me.”_  
  
_Monster._  
_How should I feel?_  
_Creatures lie here, looking through the window._  
  
_That night he caged her, bruised and broke her._  
_He struggled closer, then he stole her._  
  
_Violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain._  
_Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams.'_  
  
Brian looked up at me and stayed quiet. He looks hurt. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. “Are you sure you’re okay with me reading this?” He asked me. I nodded. “Okay.” He started looking through more pages.  
  
_'Well, I couldn’t tell you, why she felt that way._  
_She felt it every day._  
  
_And I couldn’t help her._  
_I just watched her make the same mistakes, again._  
  
_What’s wrong – what’s wrong, now?_  
_Too many, too many problems,_  
_Don’t know where she belongs,_  
_Where she belongs…_  
  
_She wants to go home, but nobody’s home._  
_It’s where she lies, broken inside._  
  
_With no place to go, no place to go,_  
_To dry her eyes._  
_Broken inside._  
  
_Her feelings she hides,_  
_Her dreams she can’t find,_  
_She’s losing her mind._  
_She’s falling behind._  
  
_She can’t find her place._  
_She’s losing her faith._  
_She’s falling from grace._  
_She’s all over the place._  
  
_She wants to go home, but nobody’s home._  
_It’s where she lies broken inside.'_  
  
“Have you ever considered trying to publish what you write?” He asked me. I shrugged. “You can make some really good music through pain.” He muttered as he continued to leaf through my journal.  
_  
'I linger in the doorway, of alarm clock screaming, monsters calling my name._  
_Let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me._  
_Where the raindrops, as they’re falling tell a story…_  
  
_In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby,_  
_I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me._  
  
_Don’t say I’m out of touch with this rampant chaos, your reality._  
_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge._  
_The nightmare, I built my own world to escape._  
  
_In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby,_  
_I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me._  
  
_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming,_  
_Cannot cease for the sound of silent lies,_  
_Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming,_  
_The goddess of imaginary light…_  
  
_In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby,_  
_I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me.'_  
  
Brian closed the journal and we sat in silence for a few minutes while he pondered what he had just read.  
  
“Those are really powerful.” He told me. I didn’t say anything. I opened a bag of chips and watched him as he decided what he was going to say. “I think if you wanted to get them published, you would have no problem doing that. Hell, you could even sell them as songs.”  
  
“Thank you. I don’t really let anyone else read them.”  
  
“I’m honored.” He smiled and started to eat his sandwich.  
  
“Hey, I’m sorry I’m running late today.” Matt apologized. He settled across from me and leaned in for a kiss. I smiled.  
  
“It’s okay. No big.” I assured him. I kept thinking about what Brian said. It’s not a bad idea. My writing is one of the only things that I’m seriously passionate about. Why not pursue it? It’s only logical.  
  
“My mom wants to see you.” Matt told me.  
  
“When?” I asked him.  
  
“I’m not sure. What do you have going on this week?” He asked me.  
  
“I’ve got doctor appointments most of tomorrow afternoon, therapy Wednesday, and the trial is Friday.” I told him. He nodded.  
  
“Maybe tomorrow night when you’re finished?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Sure. I’d like that.” I smiled.  
  
“It’s a date.”  
  


* * *

  
  
“You look happy about something.” Jace teased.  
  
“It’s been a good day.” I told him.  
  
“Good. You deserve one.”  
  
“Don’t we all?”  
  
“Eh, sometimes. So your first day back was good?” He asked.  
  
“It was.” I told him. “I just have to make it through the rest of the week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit: "Monster" -- Meg & Dia, "Nobody's Home" -- Avril Lavigne, "Imaginary" -- Evanescence


	49. Band Practice and Tears

Chapter Forty-Five:

  
  
“Angela!” Someone shouted behind me. I turned to see Matt running up behind me.  
“Hey, what’s up, Speed Racer?” I asked him. He chuckled.  
  
“I just wanted to catch you before you headed home. We’re going to practice at Jimmy’s – you guys want to tag along?” He asked. Jace shrugged.  
  
“I’m down.” I told him. As soon as Jace opened his mouth some skinny, little, blonde thing came up and attached herself to his arm. He smirked as she whispered in his ear.  
  
“Well, I just got plans. Rain check?” Jace asked Matt.  
  
“Sure thing, bro.” He laughed.  
  
“I’ll see you at home. Go have fun.” I sent him off.  
  
“I always do.” He waved and headed off with his lady-friend. I shook my head. Matt put an arm around me.  
  
“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” He asked me. I shrugged. “You really do.” He kissed me and led me to his car.  
  
“Are you guys working on any new stuff?” I asked him. He nodded.  
  
“We’ve been working on a new song, trying to fine tune it.”  
  
“That’s awesome.” I smiled at him.  
  
“Are you feeling okay?”  
  
“Feeling okay is overrated.” I sighed. “I’m not really sure how I’m feeling.”  
  
“I think Brian really likes talking to you.” Matt changed his subject.  
  
“It’s mutual.” I told Matt. He smiled.  
  
“It’s pretty awesome that you get along with my friends.”  
  
“They make it easy.”  
  
“I think you remind Brian of his older sister.”  
  
“I didn’t know he had a sister.”  
  
“Yeah, he doesn’t see her much anymore, but they used to be inseparable. He told me that your writing is really good.” He glanced over to me. I blushed.  
  
“It’s okay.”  
  
“He’s really critical as far as English goes. If he says it’s good, it must be.”  
  
“So, what’s the song about?” I asked him.  
  
“You’ll just have to wait to hear it.”

* * *

  
  
“Angela! Did you bring any food with you?” Brian asked when we went inside Jimmy’s place. I shook my head.  
  
“No, sorry. It was kind of short notice.” I told him. He looked like I kicked his puppy. “We could always go grab food after you guys practice.” I suggested.  
  
“A woman who likes food. You should hold onto her.”  
  
“I intend to.” Matt smirked. “Is everyone downstairs?” He asked. Brian nodded. “Cool.” We headed to the basement and saw the guys warming up. I sat on a nearby couch and watched them. I pulled out my sketch pad and journal. I started sketching them as they started playing.  
  
_'Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost._  
_It’s empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over.'_  
  
I took turns watching and drawing the guys as they performed. Jimmy has his eyes closed. Matt is clutching the microphone.  
  
_'I found you here._  
_Now, please stay for awhile._  
_I can move on with you around._  
_I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?_  
  
_I’d do anything to see you smile._  
_Holding you till our time is done…_  
_We both know the day will come, but I don’t want to leave you.'_  
  
I took out my phone and snapped some pictures of them, references for later. I kept drawing and listening.  
  
_'Trials in life, questions of us existing here,_  
_Don’t wanna die without you here…_  
_Please tell me what we have is real._  
  
_So, what if I never hold you, yeah,_  
_Or kiss your lips again?_  
_So, I never want to leave you._  
_And the memories of us to see, I beg don’t leave me.'_  
  
I put the pencil down and just watched them. Jimmy’s eyes were getting pink. I can see small trails of wet down his cheeks. Is he the one who wrote this? He put his drumsticks down and walked away from the band. The guys stopped playing. I got up and followed him. I don’t know him very well, but maybe he just needs someone to lean on, a woman’s touch.  
  
“Jimmy?” I asked. He’s sitting in another room in the basement, shaking with his face in his hands. He didn’t move or look up when I announced myself. “Do you want to be alone?” I tried again.  
  
“No,” he whispered. “Stay.” He looked up, just for a split second. He looks like he’s hurting more than he can say. I kneeled in front of him and wrapped my arms around him. I let him cry into my shoulder.  
  
“Who was she?”  
  
“Sarah, she we were together for two years before she found out she had cancer. She died over a year ago.” He confessed.  
  
“You wrote the song about her?”  
  
“Matt helped. I couldn’t do it alone. I thought it would make it easier, but it’s just brought up so many things.”  
  
“Let it all out. It’s okay. I’m here.” I whispered.  
  
“And with what Matt went through with you, just hearing about it, reminded me so much of what I went through with her…”  
  
“It will easier.”  
  
“When?”  
  
“With time. I lost my mom and it still hurts, but you’ll learn how to be okay with her gone. She’s still watching over you. You’re not alone.” I told him. “Just breathe.” I reminded him. He nodded against me. “Have you tried talking to someone about it?”  
  
“I’m talking to you.”  
  
“I mean someone professionally?”  
  
“I did for a while. It didn’t help much. She was a raging bitch.” He lifted his face and mopped his face with his hand. I chuckled.  
  
“I know a guy, if you wanna try talking with someone else.” I suggested. He nodded.  
  
“I think it would really help.”  
  
“Awesome. I’ll get you his number.” I promised. I got up and offered him a hand. He took it but didn’t really use it. I started to pull away but he tightened his grip.  
  
“Hey, thank you.” He told me.  
  
“Don’t mention it.” I smiled. “Let’s go find everyone before they demolish the contents of your kitchen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Credit: "Seize the Day" -- Avenged Sevenfold


	50. A Trip to the Doctor's and Dinner

Chapter Forty-Six:

  
  
I stretched and climbed out of bed. Last night was draining to say the least, but it wasn’t a bad one. I sauntered over to my desk and pulled out some of my sketches from last night. I looked over at my alarm clock. I’ve still got awhile to kill before I have to get ready for school. I started finishing my work.  
  
After I finished, I looked at the clock again. I still have twenty minutes before I need to be in the shower. What to do? I pulled my journal over towards me and switched on my iPod.  
  
_'I tear my heart open – I sew myself shut._  
_My weakness is I care too much._  
_The scars remind me that the past is real._  
_I tear my heart open just to feel.'_  
  
I started to write, inspired by the lyrics.  
  
_'I’m stuck in the land of never-ending what-ifs. I can’t move. I’m trapped. Every time I try to move forward, something is there to pull me back. It feels like my life is an everlasting labyrinth. I’m confused and weighed down. I’m trying so hard to be normal, that it feels like I’m trying to suppress part of myself. Everything I do feels wrong._  
  
_I push myself back up and fall back down harder. I survive what tried to kill me and I’m never the same. He tried so hard to break me and I wonder if he succeeded. I’m not the same person I was._  
  
_He wanted me, so he took me. I refused him, so he punished me. He wanted to feel my pain, so he hurt me._  
  
_I said no, and I was silenced. I fought back and I was beaten. I tried to be strong, but I wasn’t strong enough._  
  
_I found someone that made me happy and he tainted it. I tried to have a healthy relationship and he found a way to distort it. I tried to rise above it and I was pulled back down._  
  
_He’s gone now and he is still controlling my life. My body has his scars. My memories are a constant reminder of everything he’s done to me._  
  
_No matter how far I run, he’s in the back of my mind, haunting me. He had my mother and he made sure that he had me._  
  
_She died and left me to rot here. I wasn’t reason enough to keep her around, but I never was. I was a burden that she never wanted. I was around to clean up her mess because she couldn’t be bothered to. She left me with no one to care for me._  
  
_He’s polluted so many years of my life. He’s a toxin to everything good about me._  
  
_I can’t be normal. I can’t mother any children because I refused his. I can’t share my body with anyone because he destroyed that kind of intimacy for me._  
  
_I feel marked and used. People stare at me wherever I go, now. I’m the girl that was attacked. I’m the girl who had sex with her stepfather. I’m the girl who has been in the hospital. I’m the girl who was raped.'_  
  
I put down my pen and mopped the tears off of my face with a tissue. I think that’s more than enough emotion for one day. I pushed myself out of the chair went into the bathroom. I peeled off my clothes and got into the shower. I stood under the hot water for a while without moving. I forced myself to wash myself.  
  
I got ready in a daze. I put a little foundation on my face to cover up the worst of the bruising and a little eye makeup. I opted for a dress, today. They hurt a lot less than jeans. I put on a flowy, maxi number. It’s grey and teal. It twists at the neckline and has three-quarter length sleeves. It’s comfortable, and that’s what I was going for. I slipped on some flats and went downstairs.  
  
“You okay?” Jace asked. I nodded. “Your eyes are pink.”  
  
“I’m okay.” I told him. He nodded and push it. “I’m not really hungry this morning.”  
  
“Coffee?” He offered me a mug. I nodded and took it out of his hands. “You look nice this morning.” He told me.  
  
“Thank you.” I gave him a small smile.  
  
“Ready for school?” He asked.  
  
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” I replied. I grabbed my things and we headed out. The car ride was silent. I really don’t feel like talking. I feel like writing in my journal was all the serious talking I can take this morning.  
  
We were at school sooner than I expected, but I was spacing out for the majority of the car ride. I miss driving. I hate having to rely on everyone else. It’s going to be a long while before I’m able to, again. I can’t drive with the meds in my system. And I’m really not supposed to drive with my fractured wrist, either. It feels like I’m taking forever and a day to heal and I hate it.  
  
“Hey Angela,” Jimmy came up to my locker. I smiled and gave him a hug.  
  
“How are you doing today?” I asked him. He gave me a small smile in return.  
  
“This morning has been a lot better than last night, thanks. I’m sorry for unloading all of that on you. I know you have a lot going on.” He apologized.  
  
“I really don’t mind. I think in a weird way, it helped me, too. It’s comforting to know that there are other people trying to get past their own shit piles in life. I’ve been so caught up in my own head; it’s been easy to forget that the world’s still going on around me. And, if I minded, I wouldn’t have stayed with you. Seriously, if you ever need to talk, or just not be alone, I’m here.” I told him.  
  
“You don’t have to say that just because you’re dating Matt.” He told me.  
  
“Matt has nothing to do with this. I’m telling you this as a friend. I’m here for you. Okay?” I clarified.  
  
“I appreciate it.” He hugged me tentatively, again. I chuckled.  
  
“Are we good?”  
  
“We’re good.”

* * *

  
  
I was at our usual table when Brian came to sit with me. “How goes things?” He asked, shoving a handful of chips into his mouth.  
  
“Things are alright.” I told him, plucking a few grapes off of my tray.  
  
“Just alright?”  
  
“They’ve been better.” I told him. He frowned.  
  
“Anything new for me to read?” He asked. I nodded and motioned to my journal that laid waiting for him. He flipped to what I started to write earlier. He didn’t say much just read while he ate. When he finished he put it down and stared at me.  
  
“I think it’s really good that you’re writing this stuff down.”  
  
“Why’s that?”  
  
“Because, even if you can’t talk about it, you’re still getting it out,” he answered. I nodded. “Can I see what you drew yesterday?” He asked. I shrugged.  
  
“I doubt you’ll take no for an answer.” I pulled my sketchbook out of my back and forked it over. He flipped through a few pictures of Eric and his distorted face. I had forgotten about those. Drawing what happened… It helped me cope. It helped me feel like I wasn’t crazy. He started smiling when he saw the pictures of him and they guys.  
  
“These are badass.” He breathed. “We could totally use these in the album art. They’re so life-like.” He grinned. “I’m a guitar god.”  
  
“Thank you.” I smiled.  
  
“Have you started to talk to anybody?” He asked me.  
  
“Like a therapist?” I asked. He nodded.  
  
“I’ve been once. I go back tomorrow.”  
  
“I think you should let him look at these.” He gestured to both of my books. I shrugged. It’s not really something that I had thought about until he had said something.  
  
“I’ll consider it.” I told him.  
  
“Good.”

* * *

  
  
“Miss Summers, you look like you’re healing nicely, as well as can be expected. Are you still getting a lot of pain?” Dr. Sullivan asked me. I nodded.  
  
“Not all of the time, but I’ve been trying not to overexert myself.” I told him.  
  
“Good, good. Are you sleeping alright?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I’m sleeping a little, but when I do I have nightmares.”  
  
“Would you like a prescription for something to help with that?”  
  
“Dreamless sleep?” I asked him. He pursed his lips.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“If it doesn’t get better, can I take you up on that? I just don’t like not being in control of my body. It’s hard enough with the meds I take that already make me drowsy.” I explained.  
  
“I understand. Don’t hesitate to come in or call if you need anything.”  
  
“Thank you.”

* * *

  
  
I fidgeted while I waited for Matt to pick me up. My abdomen is killing me. I took a few of my non-drowsy pain-killers. They’re not as strong as the ones that put me to sleep, but I don’t want to fall asleep half-way through dinner.  
  
The doorbell rang and I got up to get it. I saw Matt smiling.  
  
“Hey Gorgeous,” he leaned in and kissed me. I set my hands on his chest and kissed him back. “Ready to go?” He asked.  
  
“I’m ready.” I told him. He held my hand as I shut the door behind us. He helped me into the car and we were on our way. I didn’t really say much. “I’m sorry I’m not really talkative today.” I apologized.  
  
“Don’t be. It’s fine.” He promised. “Rough day?”  
  
“Rough morning,” I clarified. He nodded and flipped on the radio. The ride to his house was a short one. I saw Denise waiting for us on the porch. She waved excitedly and rushed over to greet us.  
  
“I’m so glad you were able to make it. I’ve been hounding Matt about having you over. I wanted to see how you’re doing.” She smiled and pulled me into a hug.  
  
“I’ve been healing alright. Mark says I’m on track.” I told her.  
  
“I’m glad to hear it. I hope you like spaghetti.”  
  
“I love it.” I smiled at her. She ushered us inside. Janice was already waiting at the table. We took our seats and started dishing out food. I took small portions. I’m not sure how much my stomach can handle right now. “It looks delicious.”  
  
“Thank you. Janice made cupcakes for dessert.”  
  
“They’re my favorite.”  
  
“Mine, too.” Janice said in between bites of food.  
  
“Are you worried about the trial Friday?” Denise asked me. I nodded. I really just wish people would stop asking me about it. I’m trying to forget about it. “I have a feeling that everything will work out, honey.” She gave my hand a squeeze.  
  
“I really hope so.” I told her.  
  
“It will.” Matt chimed in. I smiled at him. The rest of dinner flew by. We talked about school, life, plans after graduation. The cupcakes Janice made were delicious. Matt and I retired back to his room while the girls cleaned up. “Are you doing okay?” He asked me.  
  
“I’m trying to be. I’m just worried. Everything’s just freaking me out, right now.” I told him.  
  
“You just have to make it through Friday. Either way things go down, but the end of Friday night, it’ll all be over.” He told me. I nodded.  
  
“You’re right. I’m just having trouble getting out of my own head.”I admitted.  
  
“I think I can help with that.”  
  
“And how do you plan on doing that?” I asked.  
  
“Like this.” He pulled my face towards his and moved his lips tantalizingly slow against mine. I groaned and pressed my mouth harder against his. I don’t want slow. I want something I can really feel. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, trying to get admittance to his mouth. His jaw dropped just enough to let me pass. My tongue danced with his. He let me take dominance. I tangled my hands in his hair and held his face molded to mine.  
  
His hands raked my sides, careful not to hit anything painful. I pushed my chest closer to his. I just need to feel him against me. He moved his mouth off of mine and started leaving a trail of burning kisses along my neck. I groaned.  
  
“Matt,” I rasped.  
  
“Do you want me to stop?” He whispered.  
  
“No, please don’t stop.” I gasped. That was all the encouragement he needed. He toyed with my neck and traveled to my ear. I shuddered against him. “The things you do to me…” I whispered. I felt him smile against me.  
  
“I’m at your service.” He murmured, kissing along my jaw-line, back to my lips. It became heated, fast. We were in a full-blown, hot and heavy make-out session in no time. It seemed like we stayed that way forever.  
  
Eventually we broke apart. “I should probably go home before it gets too late.” I told him. He rested his forehead against mine, trying to catch his breath. I know he can feel it, too. When we kiss, it’s electric. There’s nothing like it.  
  
“Probably a good idea. I’m so hard for you.” He whispered. He moved my hand over his pants, so I could feel him. I didn’t say anything. “If you got any hotter, I wouldn’t be able to stay in the same room as you.” He smiled, helping me up. I blushed.  
  
“If you say so,” I rolled my eyes.  
  
“Oh, I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Scars" -- Papa Roach


	51. Therapy and Jitters

Chapter Forty-Seven:

  
  
I stared at the ceiling. I have two hours before I need to be at my therapy appointment. I slept for shit. I’m so tired, but my mind won’t let me sleep. I’m so nervous for court tomorrow. I feel so nauseous. I got up and decided to shower. I got into the bathroom and stared at my reflection. I look just as bad as I feel. If my bags get any bigger, they’ll swallow up my face. I’m still covered in bruises and I look like I’ve been through the blender.  
  
I stripped out of my pajamas and stayed in the shower until the water ran cold. I have no idea how long I stood there for.  
  
“Angela?” Gwen asked from the doorway of my bathroom. “Are you okay, honey?” I stood in front of her, wrapped in my towel and shrugged. “Are you sure you’re okay to go see Alex today?” She asked me. I nodded. “Okay. I’ll make you some breakfast.” She left. It’s taking all of my focus and energy just to put my clothes on. I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I feel like I can’t snap out of it.  
  
I packed my journals and my sketchpads. Brian may have been onto something when he suggested it. I put my hair up in a bun and put on my undergarments. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. I slipped on some shoes and grabbed my things. No makeup today, I don’t have the energy to deal with it. I went downstairs, slowly. Gwen’s waiting for me.  
  
She handed me a plate of eggs and toast. I sat down and forced myself to eat what I could. I took my pain pills and sat at the table quietly until it was time to go. She keeps giving me worried looks. I can only imagine what she is thinking. I just can’t talk right now. I’m so scared. I don’t remember the time I felt this scared. This is worse than before I had to see Eric before he stabbed me. If tomorrow doesn’t go the way we’re hoping, then everything was for nothing. I went through everything for nothing! I don’t know if I can live like that.  
  
I didn’t realize I was shaking until Gwen put a sweater on top of my shoulders. “Baby, are you sure you can handle therapy?” She whispered. I shrugged and looked up at her.  
  
“Maybe it’ll help,” I rasped. She nodded.  
  
“Let’s get going.” She helped me up. I followed her out the door. We didn’t say anything during the car ride. I can’t stop shaking. Why can’t I stop shaking?

* * *

  
  
“Good morning Angela,” Alex welcomed us as we walked into his office. I nodded, curtly. “How are you doing today?” He asked me.  
  
“I’m here.” I told him. What else can I say? I don’t want to talk about this out here.  
  
“Can I get you something to drink?” He offered. I shook my head. “Coffee?” He offered Gwen.  
  
“That would be great, thank you.” She smiled.  
  
“I’ll meet you inside, in just a moment.” He told me. I nodded and went into the room we talked in last time. I tried to get comfortable, but couldn’t. I’m so on edge. I grabbed a blanket and cover my legs with it and started at the door. I pulled out my phone to text Matt.  
  
_I don’t know if I can go through testifying tomorrow. I’m so scared, Matt._  
_-Angela_  
  
I pocketed my phone and jumped when it vibrated in my pocket.  
  
_Baby, you can do this. You’re so strong. He can’t control you anymore. It’s just one day that you have to get through._  
_-Matt_  
  
_And what happens if he isn’t convicted? I don’t want to be scared anymore. I don’t want him to hurt me anymore._  
_-Angela_  
  
“Are you ready to talk?” Alex asked, closing the door. I looked up in surprise. I didn’t even notice him opening the door. I’ve got to get it together. He sat down and looked at me.  
  
“That would be fine,” I told him. He frowned.  
  
“How are you feeling today?”  
  
“I’m scared.” I told him. He nodded. “I’m so scared. I feel like I’m frozen and I can’t do anything. How am I supposed to face him tomorrow?” I asked him, tears cascading down my face. I grabbed a box of tissues off of the coffee table and mopped my face. “I’m not supposed to fall apart. I’m supposed to keep it together.”  
  
“Why are you supposed to keep it together?” Alex asked me. I couldn’t bring myself to face him. I hate crying, especially in front of someone I barely know.  
  
“How am I supposed to testify without composure?” I deflected. He sighed.  
  
“There’s only so much composure you can will yourself to have. He attacked you. How are you supposed to react? I think the shock of the trial is forcing you to deal with everything. I think you were avoiding what you could.” He offered. I wiped my eyes and glanced up at him.  
  
“If he isn’t convicted tomorrow, he’ll be able to walk free.” I whispered. “He’ll be able to hurt me, again.” I flinched at how pathetic I sounded.  
  
“Even if he doesn’t get convicted, I don’t see any possible way that he would be able to keep custody of you. He may be a man of stature, but he’s not the only powerful man you know. I honestly doubt any possibility of Eric walking out of court tomorrow without any repercussions. You have such a strong case against him.” He reassured me.  
  
“I know that I’m psyching myself out, but it’s like… I can’t control it.” I confessed.  
  
“It’s natural to be nervous.” He told me. I shrugged.  
  
“I’m not really sure what is natural about all of this.”  
  
“You need to have faith that things will work out. You can only control what you do. You can’t control anyone else. You have to accept that some things are beyond your control.”  
  
“I’m trying to.” I told him.  
  
“It’ll get easier, with time.” He assured me. I didn’t say anything. “What do you have in your bag, if you don’t mind me asking?” Of course he would notice it.  
  
“I brought something to show you, actually.” I told him. I grabbed my bag and pulled out my journals and sketchbooks. I handled them over.  
  
“Are you sure you’re alright with me looking at these?”  
  
“I don’t see how it could hurt. I’ve only showed one other person.” I told him. He nodded and raised his eyebrows, questioningly. “My friend, Brian,” I admitted.  
  
“Thank you for sharing these with me.” He murmured as he flipped through my journals. He didn’t say much just a lot of pensive facial expressions. We stayed this way for awhile. He’s a fast reader, but there’s a lot to read through. Finally, he put the books down and looked over at me. “How long have you been keeping these?” He asked me. I shrugged.  
  
“I started writing everything down, since before my mother died. I didn’t bring all of them, but sometimes it’s my only outlet. I couldn’t stop those things from happening, but when I wrote it down, it helped me feel a little saner. It’s like it was proof that it was really happening. Even when I tried to block it out, it helped me remember.”  
  
“I think it’s wise that you keep your life documented. I think it will prove to be an asset to you. They may even come in handy in court tomorrow.”  
  
“I don’t think I could share that with a room full of people…” I hesitated.  
  
“I’m not saying you’d have to, but it’s good to have things that will help back you up.”  
  
“I understand.”  
  
“Is there anything else you’d like to talk about today?” He asked. I shook my head.  
  
“I’d rather not, if it’s okay.”  
  
“Of course, it’s always your choice. I wish you luck tomorrow, though I’m sure you won’t need it.” He smiled and got up. I got to my feet and folded the blanket. I put my things back in my bag and followed him out of the room. I’m not sure what he said or did, or how him reading the journals helped, but I feel much less jittery.  
  
“Thank you, for listening.” I told him, before I found Gwen.”  
  
“You don’t have to thank me. I want to help you.”  
  
“Either way, I appreciate it.”  
  
“Of course, same time next week?” He asked. I hesitated.  
  
“Is there any chance you have any openings Saturday? I’m not sure how I’ll be feeling after the trial. I think I’d benefit from a session either way.”  
  
“How does noon sound? We can discuss the outcome over some food.” He suggested. I nodded.  
  
“It sounds great.”


	52. Trial and Judgment

Chapter Forty-Eight:

  
  
Despite all of the sleeping meds I took, my eyes shot open an hour before my alarm rang. I sat up in a cold sweat and glanced at my clock. I sighed and got up. I went over to my closet and started leafing through my clothes. I need something respectable to wear. As long as I have things to focus on, I might be able to get through court today. I need to think about anything else. I need to think about anything besides Eric. My mouth went dry and my heart dropped into my stomach. I clutched the clothes rack to keep my knees from bucking under me.  
  
Who am I kidding? I can’t do this. I can’t. He’s going to beat me. He’s going to win. He always wins. I don’t stand a chance in hell. He’s going to make a mockery out of me and there’s going to be nothing that I can do about it.  
  
I forced myself to take deep breaths. I need to focus. I grabbed a pair of long, grey tweed slacks, a white button-down shirt, a grey camisole, and a navy J. Crew blazer. I picked out my under-things and grabbed a pair of navy flats. I sighed and turned on the shower. I stripped out of my pajamas and got in. I started my shower routine, absentmindedly.  
I can do this. I have to.  
  
As soon as the water ran cold, I stepped out. I toweled off and blow-dried my hair. I moisturized and frowned at my reflection. I don’t see someone strong looking back at me. I just see a battered girl. I don’t see the courage that I so desperately need. I see someone who is tired of fighting and losing. I see someone who is going to stand up for herself, even if she dies trying. That’s what I see.  
  
I brushed out my hair and put it up in an intricate bun. I just want it out of my face today. I opted for no makeup. People need to see what he did to me, with no filters. I’m not going to hide my injuries. I don’t want to be ashamed because I was someone else’s punching bag. At this point, the cat’s already out of the bag.  
  
I got dressed and fastened my sling in place. I took my non-drowsy meds and gathered my journals and sketchpads together. I took Alex’ advice. I met with the lawyer after my therapy session yesterday and talked to him about possibly using them as evidence. He agreed. I let him know that I only wanted them as a last resort.  
  


* * *

  
  
I fidgeted in the car, the entire ride to the trial. Matt said he was coming, but he’s driving separately with Denise. Gwen and Jace wanted to ride with me. Jared wanted to get to the courthouse early to go over some last minute details with the lawyer. Everything is all leading up to this moment and I’m scared shitless.  
  
I hesitated when I opened the car door. I know I can’t see Eric, but he’s inside somewhere. I have to face him today and the anxiety is killing me. Jace helped me to my feet and laced his fingers with mine. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. I mouthed a silent, ‘Thank you’.  
  


* * *

  
  
I sat nervously in the court room and forced myself to look anywhere but at Eric. I listened to his lawyer try and spin things in his favor. I kept my fingers busy by tugging on the end of my blazer. I tried to ignore everything until it was my turn on the stand.  
  
My attention shifted as soon as Ryan stepped to the front of the courtroom.  
  
“I’d like to bring Eric Stronghold to the stand.” He said calmly. He breathes confidence. He doesn’t seem like anything could faze him. Eric came to the stand. He was sworn in. As soon as he sat down, his eyes were locked on mine. He smirked. I couldn’t look away. My breathing quickened and I felt my pulse skyrocket. “Mr. Stronghold, can you tell us about your relationship with Miss Summers?” He asked. Eric nodded.  
  
“Angela Summers is my stepdaughter. Our relationship wasn’t anything out of the ordinary from any other father-daughter relationship.” He said.  
  
“Would an ordinary father put his daughter in intensive care?” Ryan asked. Eric blinked and looked like he was trying to find the right words.  
  
“I won’t deny that she required more discipline than your average teenage girl.”  
  
“Can you elaborate on that?” Ryan asked eerily calm.  
  
“Angela has always been a difficult child. She tends to go out of her way to challenge authority. She needs a firm hand to keep her in line.”  
  
“Is that all you did? Remember, you are under oath.”  
  
“Yes.” Eric nodded. Ryan just nodded.  
  
“Was your relationship with Miss Summers incestuous in any way? We have reports supporting accusations of your sexual assault. She suffered from multiple lacerations to her abdomen and uterus, resulting in infertility. Your prints and semen were found on the weapon and her body. How would you explain that?” Ryan challenged. For the first time, Eric looked nervous.  
  
“That was a simple misunderstanding.”  
  
“According to Miss Summers, she has been suffering your abuse for years. She has pictures to back up her accusations. How would you address this Mr. Stronghold?” Ryan kept attacking Eric, ruthlessly.  
  
“As I said, she was a very troublesome child.” Eric defended himself.  
  
“If you would look to the screen off to the left-hand side of the room, members of the jury will see the photographs in question.” Ryan told them. He picked up a little remote and turned on the projector. I followed his movements. I saw pictures that I had taken shortly after he started hitting me. I hid the camera, praying to God that he would never find it. I knew that I would have hell to pay if he did. The ones that Jace took were more detailed. It’s easier to get a clearer picture when someone else is taking the picture. Luckily, they’re all date-stamped. I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. I heard gasps echo through the room. They’re looking from me to the pictures and back again. When he finished he turned off the projector. “Do you have anything left to add?” Ryan asked Eric.  
  
“No.” Eric answered.  
  
“Your witness, Councilor.” Ryan took a seat. Eric’s lawyer came to the front.  
  
“I have no questions for Mr. Stronghold at this time, your Honor.” He told him. The judge nodded. Eric left the stand and returned to his seat. “I’d like to call Miss Summers to the stand.” He announced. I gave a little jump, startled. I stood up and made my way, slowly, to the stand. I was sworn in and I took my seat. “Miss Summers when did your alleged abuse begin?” He asked me. I cleared my throat.  
  
“Eric started touching me soon after my mother passed away, a few years ago – it soon escalated to both physical abuse and sexual.” I answered.  
  
“Even with your pictures, you cannot prove that Mr. Stronghold was the one that was hurting you – can you?” He prodded. My mouth clamped shut.  
  
“I have journals that I kept after he assaulted me. I also have witnesses to some of the more recent abuse.” I answered.  
  
“Are your witnesses present?” He asked. I nodded.  
  
“Gwen and Jace Atwood,” I replied.  
  
“What are your relationships between the Atwoods?”  
  
“Jace is my closest friend and Gwen is like a mother to me.”  
  
“Isn’t it true that they would do anything for you? Including lying for you here, today?” He asked.  
  
“Objection!” Ryan cried, standing up. “He’s badgering the witness, your Honor.” Ryan pressed.  
  
“Withdrawn.” Eric’s lawyer retracted before he could be reprimanded. The judge didn’t look pleased.  
  
“Could I answer that?” I asked the judge. He nodded. “To answer you, they wouldn’t lie for me. They’re good people.” I replied, icily.  
  
“Isn’t it true that you seduced my client?” He tried again.  
  
“Objection!” Ryan was on his feet again.  
  
“Councilor, you’re on very thin ice. I suggest you make your point quickly.” The judge voiced.  
  
“Did you come onto your stepfather?” He asked me, again.  
  
“No.” I replied.  
  
“You didn’t wear lingerie for him?”  
  
“He threatened me.”  
  
“Did he hold a gun to your head?”  
  
“He pulled off my clothes and told me that if I tried to run, that I wouldn’t make it out of the house alive. He put the lingerie on me. To answer your question, no. He didn’t put a gun to my head.”  
  
“Isn’t it true that you provoked Mr. Stronghold and that’s the reason he attacked you and sent you to the hospital?” He asked me.  
  
“Which incident are you referring to? Eric has sent me to the hospital on multiple occasions.” I told him. He shifted.  
  
“The incident that left you infertile,” he replied.  
  
“Eric just came back into town from being away on business. He told me that he wanted to reenact taking my virginity. I told him that I didn’t want to have sex with him. He doesn’t take rejection very well. He started talking about marrying me and having kids with me on day. I told him it wouldn’t happen. He told me that it would be arranged and that if I didn’t cooperate, he would kill me.” I swallowed thickly, fighting tears. I closed my eyes, remembering everything that happened. I took a deep breath and continued. “He got increasingly violent. He started beating me and he ripped off my underwear. I tried to fight him, but he overpowered me. He pinned my hands and started to choke me. He raped me…” I swiped at the tears flooding down my face. “He let go of my throat and told me to submit to him. I refused and he took me, anally.” I described. I refused to look at the lawyer. “When he finished, he asked me again if I wanted to bear his children. I told him that I didn’t. He handcuffed me and let me hang off of a hook he has on his bedroom wall. That’s when he started to stab me with the ice pick.” I looked up at the lawyer. I can tell he is uncomfortable. “He pulled me off and dropped me in the living room. I managed to get to my phone and call the police, before losing consciousness.”  
  
“Is that all that was said?”  
  
“That’s the general gist of things.” I responded. He nodded.  
  
“I have no further questions.”  
  
“Very well. Mr. Stewart, your witness.” The judge told Ryan. He came up to the stand.  
  
“Miss Summers, can you tell me what injuries you suffered from?” He asked me. I nodded.  
  
“I can in layman’s terms. If you need something more than that, you should probably ask Dr. Sullivan.” I told him, before going into detail. “If I had lost anymore blood, I would have died.” I prefaced. “There was so much damage to my abdomen and my uterus that I was left infertile.” I told him. He nodded. “I already had injuries from a previous assault from Eric, when he attacked me that night. I had three cracked ribs and a fractured wrist. The attack only made them worse. I had another cracked rib and my wrist broke. As you can see.” I held up my arm. The jury murmured to each other. “And I’m covered in bruises.” I finished, lamely.

* * *

  
  
They questioned Dr. Sullivan after I gave my testimony. Jace, Matt, and Gwen all took the stand. Jace and Gwen told the court what they saw when he tried to drag me from their house. Jace told them what he had heard when he came to visit me after the attacks. Matt told them what I looked like when he came to visit me when I told him I was sick.  
  
I shifted in my seat, uncomfortably. I just want this to all be over.  
  
Eric took the stand again. Ryan read him excerpts from my journals and showed him a few pictures I had drawn of him and what he was doing to me. I couldn’t bring myself to look. I kept my eyes closed.  
  
I felt eyes on my skin and glanced up. Eric was giving me an almost proud smirk while he heard Ryan read him his dirty deeds. He’s not remorseful in the slightest.  
  
“We’re going on a short recess while the jury deliberates. We’ll reconvene in one hour.” The judge banged his gavel and got up. Matt helped me up. We walked out of the room. I was careful not to look at Eric. I can’t stop shaking.  
  
“You did great in there.” Matt whispered. I looked at him, unsure of everything. “I’m serious. You were amazing.” He pulled me into a light hug. I leaned into his chest.  
  
“I just want this to be over Matt.”  
  
“It will be.”  
  


* * *

  
  
The hour passed by painfully slow. Finally, we made our way back to our seats. Matt put held my good hand while we waited for the judge to announce the verdict.  
  
“Has the jury reached a decision?” He asked.  
  
“We have.” A juror stood up. The judge nodded.  
  
“In the account of sexual assault in the first degree, how do you find Mr. Stronghold?” The judge asked.  
  
“We find him guilty.” The juror announced. I squeezed Matt’s hand. Oh, my God. “In the account of attempted murder in the first degree, we find him guilty.” The juror told him then sat down. The judge nodded. Eric looks beyond pissed.  
  
“Seeing as Mr. Stronghold has shown no remorse for the torture he bestowed on Miss Summers, I am sentencing him to 70 years to life in prison with no parole. I suggest you use your incarceration to reflect on your ways and repent. Prison is not kind of sexual offenders – especially those of minors.” The judge banged his gavel.  
  
“It’s over. It’s finally over.” I felt stunned. Two police officers escorted him out of the room.  
  
“I will find you, Angela!” He yelled. “I will make damn sure that you’re never happy if you’re not mine!” He cried. For the first time in a long time, his words didn’t touch me.


	53. Reassurance and Faith

Chapter Forty-Nine:

  
  
I floated around my bedroom. My bedroom. I stopped and thought about how nice that sounded. I smiled, unable to contain the joyfulness I’m feeling. I bustled around, taking care in my appearance. I decided on a soft, maxi dress that fell just below my feet. The sleeves came just above my elbow and it has a low, swoop neckline. I paired it with a light grey camisole. I flatted out the wrinkles with my fingers and looked at my reflection. The emerald color of the dress did wonders for my skin-tone.  
  
I put on a pair of grey flats on decided not to add jewelry. I put on light makeup and slipped on a long cream sweater that buttoned just below my bust. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs.  
  
Whether it’s my medicine or knowing that Eric is going to be in jail for a very long time, I’m feeling wonderful today. I feel like I could walk to the moon, if I really wanted to. I’m still in denial. I feel like at any second, everything could come crashing down. I guess it’ll take awhile to sink in.  
  
I’m supposed to go to Los Angeles with Jared and Matt later on. He’s decided that he needs to step up as a father – more than he already has. He’s letting me pick out a room at his place and we’re going to go shopping and decorate it this weekend. Matt asked to tag along. Jared obliged, saying it would be good for us to get out of town for a bit.  
  
Jace has been unusually friendly towards Matt, staying true to his word. I love it. My two favorite guys are finally getting along.  
  
I’m going to keep my room here at the Atwood’s. With the school year still going on, it makes sense. I doubt I’d ever leave, completely. I’d miss them too much.  
  
I’ve gotten a few acceptance letters to universities around the country. There’s a promising school by Jared’s in Los Angeles. It has a killer writing program that I’m interested. Money isn’t an issue and I would really like to get to know my father better.  
  
Matt and the band are going to go up to LA in the summer to keep recording. Jared has already gotten them a few gigs to promote their upcoming album.They’ll be around, so being away from home will be easier. Jace and Gwen both swore that they would come visit if I chose to go spend the summer in LA.  
  
Who knows? Maybe Jace can even find a honey for himself. I hate that he’s been single and he’s been holding out for me, while I’ve been with someone else. He’s a great guy and if it wasn’t for Matt, our relationship would be completely different – there’s no doubt in my mind.  
  
“You’re up early, Gel.” Jace swatted my butt with a dish towel. I made a face at him and sat down with a bowl of fruit.  
  
“I have an appointment with Alex soon.” I reminded him. He nodded slowly.  
  
“I see.” He said, plopping down next to me. “Is mom taking you?”  
  
“I think she’s working this morning.” I shrugged, taking a bite.  
  
“I can take you.” He offered.  
  
“That wouldn’t be weird?” I asked. He shook his head.  
  
“You’re my girl. I think I can handle hanging out in the waiting room for an hour, for you.” He smiled.  
  
“That’s because you’re awesome.”  
  
“You know it.” He grinned. I rolled my eyes. He leaned over and picked fruit out of my bowl with his fingers.  
  
“You have no manners.”  
  
“You’ve never complained before.”  
  
“Yes, I have – you just have selective hearing.”  
  
“What’d you say?”  
  
“Typical man.”  
  


* * *

  
  
“Hello Angela,” Alex greeted me, warmly. I smiled.  
  
“Hi,” I responded, suddenly unsure of my words. “He was convicted.” I blurted. He nodded.  
  
“Gwen told me yesterday. I’m pleased to hear it. How are you feeling?” He asked me, handing me a cup of coffee. I sipped it, gingerly.  
  
“I feel like a massive weight was lifted off of me. The past few years have felt like the weight of the world was solely on me and now, it’s finally gone. I can’t believe it.” I gushed.  
  
“I’m proud of you.”  
  
“I didn’t do much.”  
  
“You stood up to the man that abused you. That’s more than most can say.”  
  
“If I had done it sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have suffered as long.” I whispered. The endless ‘what-if’ scenarios flashed through my mind.  
  
“Angela, you did all that you could do. Do you honestly doubt that?” He asked me. I shook my head before I could over-think things. “Then don’t start second-guessing yourself. Now is the time to think about what you want in life. It’s your life. No one can take that from you. Now is your time to flourish. I want you to take your life by the balls and live it to the fullest. Do you think that you can do that?” He asked me.  
  
I opened my mouth, only to close it. I looked up at him. Do I think I can do that? I’m not sure. Can I do it? I’m going to damn well try. I won’t over-think it. Can I do it? I don’t know. Am I going to do it? Yes. “I will.” I told him, shocked at how confident I sounded.  
  
“What do you want to do, Angela?”  
  
“I want to write.”  
  
“Is that all?” He asked me.  
  
“I want to get my writing published. I want my artwork to be known. I want to be happy. I want to stop being afraid to love someone without feeling like they will end up hitting me.” I breathed. He nodded.  
  
“You will get there, if that’s what you really want. There is no doubt in my mind that you will make that happen for yourself. As for your relationship, I’m not going to lie to you – it’s going to take time. Start with baby steps. You’re going to have communicate your fears with Matt. You need to tell him what you’re feeling and what you’re afraid of. I think that will help you. If you need to, you can bring him to your next session and we can all talk together.” He offered.  
  
“I’ve been trying to talk to him, but I don’t want to push things.”  
  
“He’s stayed with you through almost all of this. You need to give him some more credit. He’s not a little boy.”  
  
“Okay. I’ll start communicating more things with him. If I have trouble… I’ll bring him to my next session.” I agreed.  
  


* * *

  
  
I laid next to Matt on his bed. He was peppering small kisses on the side of my face. I relaxed completely in his embrace. I feel so safe right now.  
  
“Can we talk?” I asked him. He looked up at me, nervously.  
  
“Those are the words that no man wants to hear.” He sighed.  
  
“I want to explain where my head is.” I told him quietly. He nodded.  
  
“Yeah, of course.” He kissed my forehead and listened to me try and explain the blur of emotions flooding my head. He didn’t say much; just let me say my piece. He didn’t look bothered or offended. My throat was dry and my jaw tired by the time I finished my spiel. We laid quietly. I could almost see his thought process as he digested my words. He cleared his throat and I refocused on his eyes. “If you ever want me to sit in during a session with you, I have no problems doing that.” He assured me. I squeezed his hand. “I meant what I said when I told you that I was in this for the long haul. When I think about our relationship, it’s not just some high school fling. I see my future with you, Angela. I don’t want to lose you. I’m going to prove to you that I’m a man worthy of your love. You deserve the world and I’m going to try to give it to you. We can take things as slow as you want to. As far as sex goes, I’m not going to pressure you on anything. You can let me know when you’re ready to try and take things further. I know that you’re healing and it’s going to take awhile. I’m fully capable to taking care of things on my end solo.” He smiled, wryly, while gesturing to his hand. I laughed. “I know we’re still young and I’m not going to rush us, but I can see myself marrying you someday.” He wrapped his arms around me. “You’re my dream woman. I don’t want anyone else.” He promised. I felt my nose burning and happy tears threatening to spill down my face. Boy has a way with his words.  
  
“You have no idea how much that means to me.” I whispered. I buried my face in his shirt. He just held me tighter. “I appreciate you and how much you do for me. Your support means so much to me.” I told him. “I love you so much, it scares me. The only love I’ve known romantically was so warped and destructive. I want to learn how to do things right with you.” I told him. I was weeping now, at a loss for words. Every time we’ve come up against something, he’s surprised me.  
  
“I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered. And he didn’t. We stayed there all night.


	54. Epilogue

Chapter Fifty:

  
  
It’s been a year since I graduated from high school. I was Valedictorian and it meant more to me than I ever expected it to. I actually made it through school relatively unscathed. I got a full ride to UCLA. I have a double major in English and modern art.  
  
I just published two novels. One is a book of poetry. The other is an autobiography of a survivor. I never thought I would ever have the opportunity to get my works published. The biggest surprise was the interest in my life story. Who would want to read about something like that? Apparently, more people than I thought. Both books are well on their way to becoming best sellers.  
  
Matt and the rest of the band are doing ridiculously well. They released their first album at the beginning of the year and it has gone gold. Jared has hopes that it will go platinum before the year is out.  
  
He’s been busy touring, but we’re still going strong. He gave me a promise ring for my birthday.  
Matt has been more than understanding about my need to take things slow on a sexual level.  
  
We made love for the first time last week. He was back in town and we spent the weekend together. We went to this amazing Japanese restaurant and took a walk around town afterwards. We ended up back at Jared’s place – he was out for the night. He drew us a bath and lit candles. It was romantic – magical. It definitely wasn’t planned.  
  
I was comfortable with him, but it didn’t stop it from being awkward and new. I felt exposed and incredibly naked. He kissed my worries away and we took things one step at a time. We talked through all of it. It made things easier. I felt so safe with him. We went slow and it was perfect.  
It wasn’t forced or distorted. When we made love… it felt like we were connected in a way that I’d never experienced before. It was amazing.  
  
Jace decided to stay closer to home with school. He didn’t want to go too far from Gwen. He’s actually happy. He finally found a girl of his own. She’s a total knockout and right up his alley. I do my best to ignore her physical similarities to me. She sweet but she doesn’t put up with his bullshit – which is exactly what he needs. Gwen loves her, of course.  
  
Jared and Gwen have been spending a lot of time together. They started meeting up because of me and Eric. I guess they never really stopped. She’s in LA a lot more than she used to be. I think there’s more going on than they will admit to. I have no problems with them dating. They fit, somehow.  
  
Jared has gone above and beyond my expectations. He’s stepped up to the fatherly role so quickly. Our relationship feels so natural. We have to work at it, sure. But you’d never know that he didn’t help raise me unless you asked.  
  
Brian has quickly become one of my best friends. We talk and text all of the time. He helps me with my writing and even encourages it.  
  
Jimmy and I have become a lot closer, too. We talk about the more sensitive subjects that other people don’t quite understand.  
  
For the first time, in a long time, I feel happy. I know that Eric isn’t going to hurt me from where he is. Sometimes, I still worry that he’ll make good on his promise and find some way to seek vengeance. I do my best to push that aside and focus on the good things in life.  
  
And they are good. It’s great having the luxury to focus on the good things. I’m going to continue to good things with my life. I hope that my story helps inspire others and gives them the strength they need to keep going through whatever bullshit life throws their way.  
  
When I was a little girl, I lost my mother. When I was a little girl, I lost my childhood. When I was a teenager, I fought back. When I kept fighting, I won.  
  
My name is Angela. I’m a woman. I was abused. I was beaten down and told that I was weak. I overcame that. I am strong. I will never be the victim again.  
  
My name is Angela and I’m a survivor.


End file.
